I bought a white coat in the sales to look like Olivia Pope, but I actually resemble a middle aged taekwando instructor

I once bought a tulle skirt in the hope of channelling Carrie Bradshaw - I pictured myself flitting around looking delicate, cute, elfin.

In reality I looked like a crazy woman who had raided a toddlers dressing up box and was wider than she was tall.

I also bought a a jersey tapered leg jumpsuit that I thought would be total casual baggy sports luxe chic.

It made my arse look like it could be used to cover Connecticut when it rains, it was just so.... vast.

I am a major pear shape and really need to learn how to dress for my shape

I’ve just remembered another one from my youth when I was all big tits and flat stomach.

I got a brilliant tight fitting Iron Maiden T-shirt that I though would show off my assets perfectly. I put it on for a night out and when I came downstairs my Dad asks “who’s Ron Maiden?”

The top was so tight the writing had stretched so that the I was now sitting under my armpit

My dad carried on calling Iron Maiden Ron Maiden up until his death

Boob cyclops!! love it!

Boob cyclops! Worzel Gummidges trousers! Am chokeing on my stew.

Haha I seem to have had rather a lot of clothing mishaps. On a night out wearing a lovely structured corset top the strap broke. I removed the straps and wore it without. Dancing the night away I looked down to be confronted with a boob. Not what your thinking, I'm flat chested and the top had spun round so one tit was under my arm and the other sitting in the centre like a boob cyclops

My most recent one of these was bought just before lock down last year, when I thought I wanted more trousers to waft around home in that weren't jeans.

I panic bought an expensive pair of brown corduroy trousers from Whistles, sort of baggy, with a very high waist (and a paperbag-style waist) and ending at, I admit, a sort of awkward part of the leg. So they looked half-mast rather than than ankle length on purpose.

I thought I'd channel a chic 1940s land girl vibe, imagine Maxine Peake wearing them, along with deep red lipstick and a chunky jumper.

DP said they looked as if they should be done up with string and mentioned Worzel Gummidge. I ignored him. Until the day I happened to see myself n a full length mirror and yes, annoyingly he was exactly right and OMG they were utterly utterly unflattering. Note to self; I still don't have a full length mirror so I wonder what else I'm oblivious of...

Also, I do not look as good in trench coats or berets as I feel should be my sartorial right. I still try every now and again (not both at the same time; that would be very Allo Allo...)

I had a lovely shiny black mac, I wore it to a motorcycle thingy. It started to rain which became torrential. For some unknown reason my mac began to foam. There I was all dolled up with soggy curls, alice cooper eyes and bubbles emanating from every inch. Bloody gorgeous, like a slug in salt

I was witness to someone’s fashion disaster years ago at the seaside.

She was a very attractive, tall and slim lady who wafted (natch) along wearing a white pair of wide legged linen trousers. They were quite thin so this lady had forgone her knickers I guess to avoid VPL.

The problem was when she turned around, we could all see a very dark and very lustrous full bush!

I bought a beautiful floral print dress for a summer wedding. I looked like a badly stuffed sofa.

I was working as a DH in a school and was so pleased with my promotion. I had a black skirt with silver lines all over it. A silver scarf and drop silver earrings abs black jacket and boots. I’ve made it.
Until a fellow teacher remarked that my skirt looked like it was covered in snail trails. Bugger bugger bugger. He was so right. Never wore it again. Bugger.

I bought a stylish full length black wool coat that only looked stylish until I put it on. Being quite short, I look like I'm wearing my dads overcoat. The button that is secured at the waist of the tall, svelte model in the photo, is actually crotch area on me, and I need a 6" heel to stop the coat from trailing on the floor. Major fail.

Hilarious thread. Thank you!

Yay classics, this has kept me so entertained

JaneJeffer Ouch.

Yesterday I saw a very young, very pretty woman dressed in a smart tan hoodie with matching pants and a tan quilted jacket and all I could think was :

Have you just been deployed to the Gulf?

Thanks to this thread

I'm enjoying this thread very much!

I had spent a lovely summer's day wafting around in a pair of bright pink wide leg linen trousers, imagining I looked cool and elegant. When I got home my husband took one look and said, 'Coco the clown has been on the phone. He wants his trousers back.'

On the day itself I thought I looked summery and chic and wafted about (all the signs were there)

I actually looked like the Millennium Dome had come adrift from its moorings.

What a great thread this has been. Thank you all.

I once bought a lovely 60s print cotton shift dress for a wedding. Indeed it would have been cool to wear and effortless. Except that I tried it on several days before the wedding to find I'd unexpectedly gained volume and could not zip it up.

Cue absolutely frantic shopping trip which ended in the purchase of a very lightweight cream waist length sweater with a sweet heart neckline and an a line midi skirt also in cream which was fitted to lower hip level and then widened to big soft swingy pleats.

On the day itself I thought I looked summery and chic and wafted about (all the signs were there). Actually when the wedding photos were developed (them were the days), every single pound of the weight I'd put on were clear to see and I actually looked like the Millennium Dome had come adrift from its moorings.

Disclaimer: guests were allowed to wear white or cream as the very tall, very slender bride was wearing a dark purple sheath dress. So I definitely was not stealing anyone's thunder, though to be fair I did look like I'd already stolen all the pies.

an Orthodox Jew who's lost their trousers

This thread is hysterical.

There's a picture of me aged 18 on holiday when obviously white shirts with black waist coats were in, and I wore a pair with black hot pants, a black fedora and tousled wavy hair.

I remember thinking at the time what a fox I looked like. But looking at the picture now I just look like an Orthodox Jew who's lost their trousers.

Love this thread. I got this silk head scarf thingy on Amazon to keep my hair from tangling. You are supposed to wear it in bed, the next morning it leaves your hair beautifully silky with no knots. We have been married long enough for me to wear something as unsexy (tbh I didn’t think I look that bad in it anyway)) until I sent a photo to my friend wearing it and she told me I look like an ultra Orthodox Jewish woman haha! The hat suddenly lost its appeal, and it does make me feel like a granny when I wear it now - especially in winter, combined with a long flannel nightdress)

oh dear, SugarBlissOrJ17

God I love these.

Struggling with the new-mum tiredness, I decided to pep up my look so I dyed my hair red to try emulate Isla Fisher. The dye took VERY well and I looked like an exhausted Ronald McDonald (thankfully it faded fast)