I bought a white coat in the sales to look like Olivia Pope, but I actually resemble a middle aged taekwando instructor

Old thread but of course classic, so here goes, 18 yr old me, 1984, I was utterly clueless how to dress, nit much better these days either! bought a lovely, blouse and skirt in pale lemon, apparently I resembled a banana.

My nephew got a training job with Toni and Guy and needed a model to practise on.....up steps me, 3 months post partum and says crack on. I go from hair down to my middle back to short, graduated bob but insist (against his advice) on having a fringe cut in.

I visit my parents shortly after and my dad says, Hello Victoria Wood, have you come for a visit with my daughter, where is she then?

Luckily I piddled myself laughing and finally realised who was looking back at me in the mirror!!

Actually and genuinely laughing so hard I have tears rolling down my cheeks 😂 Read it out to DH and could barely get through the managing Arsenal bit before the Arsene Wenger line
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I was trying on coats today and swerved that look because I know exactly what you mean
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

My DD bought a white hoodie and matching white tracksuit bottoms. We no longer use her actual name. She is 'Tony', or 'Brian' if the hood goes up.

I once owned a short mustard yellow jacket back when that colour was apparently a good idea. DH took one look at me and christened me Ms PacMan. The jacket did not recover from this. It was quietly escorted to the charity shop in the very next donation bag, where I assume it now haunts someone else.

Thomas More! Doesn't seem very happy.

This is all self deprecating and making fun of no one but themselves. I don’t know where in any of the posts is anyone making fun of anyone but themselves. It’s all in fun and no one is the brunt of the joke.

Just go into mom’s net classics and you’ll find most of the threads on there going way back. Just have to read the titles to find what your looking for

I know this is an old old thread but it just appeared on my "I;m On"

I read it again and the I looked like Emperor Palpatine / Scottish Widows one had me wheezing .

I once wore a grey dress that had got caught in my bum cheeks....from chelsea girl.....goodness that brings back memories!

My nickname became VACUUM ARSE lol

I was gutted

I just bought a lovely maternity wrap dress - it's super comfortable because it ties inside AND out, so it feels like a dressing gown that I can wear to work and expand into.

It also has a big ruffle all the way around the bottom, from the wrap ties down and round, so I look just like a fat flamenco dancer - OR, if I'm waddling moving particularly fast, an outraged cuttlefish (deep ruffle, like a mantle).

Still wear it, though.

i am crying with laughter at these descriptions

I've no idea how I ended up on such an old thread… 🤷‍♀️

Dear MLMsuperfan, I get really pissed off about ageism too, and have mentioned it on several threads that refer to boomers, old ladies, etc.

But this is a thread where we're sharing a common experience, whatever our age, about expectations versus reality.
We're all laughing with each other, not at each other.

And it is hilarious, I’m weeping. 😂
And it is clever, the phrases are eloquent and descriptive.

I'll add my latest: I bought a lovely oatmeal linen dress, to be cool in the summer. Very plain, unfussy lines, midi length, with 3/4 sleeves.
Far from the cool, slightly edgy, serene woman going about her day, I looked like the inexplicably fat inmate of a workhouse. 😕

In my 20s, in the 80s, I was out in a bar waiting for friends, very casual in tight jeans, black ankle boots and my favourite t-shirt - black with an off-white pattern of the seaside and the words "Seaside Memories" emblazoned across my perky braless boobs.

A random bloke eyed me up and down and said, "Seaside Mammaries eh?"

I never wore it out again

I have been weeping with laughter with this thread...thank you so much !! what comes to mind is my boss (elegant bean pole, effortlessly glam) giving me a beautiful Issay Miyake full length skirt, tiny pleats, body skimming, like a mermaid skin. Thought I could get away with it if I held my tummy/wine belly in...until some gent whispered (during a posh reception) “wonder when SHE’S due” in a sneery way...then I saw my profile in the loo mirror. I could wear skin tight leather trousers at the time but I never went back to that skirt !

I can't tell you how much humour I've picked up from this superb thread! Really made my day whilst it's been pluming with rain outside.
I cried with laughter and had to leave the room several times!
I offer you this attempt at male sartorial elegance, from last years football World Cup draw on TV;
The biggest pair of underpants ever seen...

Bit off topic but has anyone had a hair cut that you thought would look fabulous only to look a complete Wally.

"Hissing Sid who'd swallowed a dinner plate".
"Grumio".
Tears down my cheeks, brilliant descriptions! Thanks!

Keep them coming I'm feeling blue

'It made my arse look like it could be used to cover Connecticut when it rains, it was just so.... vast.'

I once bought a red knitted headband that I thought looked really boho chic stylish to wear for a meal out with my family. That was 6 years ago now and my sister still calls me ‘Tupac’ as a result.

Maireas
oh sorry I see u already googled 🤣

Maireas
Look really nice till you realise what it is haha. Google

@Ddot that is hilarious! And serves your friend right! Best laugh I've had all week!