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Original poster

Crackers you've read on MN

416 replies

MrsMarrio · 25/11/2020 00:19

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me Grin

OP posts:
JustAnotherUserinParadise · 26/11/2020 16:56

@CorianderBlues and @Chutneymaura Penis beaker was what got me on to mumsnet all those years ago! (long before I was pregnant lol)

JustAnotherUserinParadise · 26/11/2020 16:47

there was one a while ago where the OP was annoyed that her DH (I think?) kept leaving sausages in his trouser pockets! Not a euphemism btw!

I learnt the phrase "fanny gallops" from mn, and often think it! Try not to use it out loud except with one friend, who also thought it was hilarious and very apt!

SixStringFanjo · 26/11/2020 16:29

'Boil in the vag curry' typo and the woman who wiped her arse with a wet pebble are my takeaways.

Badadabing · 26/11/2020 16:26

@Hoppinggreen

I’ve been mentioned twice on here I was the one who starred ww3 amongst our friends with the argument about eating mothers AND I was the idiot who took my coat off so baby DD was wearing 1 more layer than me I should be embarrassed but I’m not
I have found my people Grin
Badadabing · 26/11/2020 16:23

@GenuineKlatchianPottery

*Today 00:30 FlouncerInDenial

GenuineKlatchianPottery
A thread that’s now in classics.
OP kept hearing sex noises coming from her hedge.
Unanimous vote from MN “It’s foxes”
OP replies “I’ve never heard a fox ask for a finger up their bum”.
If you'd read the thread, love, you'd know it was hedgehogs, not foxes.
Slightly cringing for you.

If you're going to quote something, at least do it with knowledge*

I’m frightfully sorry. I shall leave the thread forthwith and will never reminisce again.
Pfft

You forgot to mention how cringey you now feel Wink.

Old Flouncer was a barrel of fun weren't they?

Anycrispsleft · 26/11/2020 16:01

I wish I'd seen that random christmas supermarket shop one at the time! My twins were 8 months old so "D"H did the Christmas supermarket shop alone - I said to him to get something easy for Christmas dinner and he came back from Tesco with a whole fresh salmon! I made him prepare it though. Scales everywhere!

MrsGrindah · 26/11/2020 15:32

That should say “ tried to throw”

MrsGrindah · 26/11/2020 15:31

I was only remembering the other day about one that always makes me laugh. It was a thread about when you have tried to dramatically flounce out of a room etc but failed. Someone posted that their Mum once had a row with someone and tried it through a packet of basil at them. They all stood there in silence as it slowly wafted to the floor.

I just howl imagining that!

Harriedharriet · 26/11/2020 15:15

Does anyone remember a thread where the OP had naice soap that she put out on the sink when guests were coming and put away when they left. She knew how mad she she was - there was a picture and everything. I would love to read that one again. I loved how utterly mad it was, she knew it but it was stronger than her!

GenuineKlatchianPottery · 26/11/2020 15:05

*Today 00:30 FlouncerInDenial

GenuineKlatchianPottery
A thread that’s now in classics.
OP kept hearing sex noises coming from her hedge.
Unanimous vote from MN “It’s foxes”
OP replies “I’ve never heard a fox ask for a finger up their bum”.
If you'd read the thread, love, you'd know it was hedgehogs, not foxes.
Slightly cringing for you.

If you're going to quote something, at least do it with knowledge*

I’m frightfully sorry. I shall leave the thread forthwith and will never reminisce again.
Pfft

LadyJaye · 26/11/2020 14:27

I would be forever grateful if somebody could link to the 'IT Advice for Ladies' thread. 😀

stampsurprise · 26/11/2020 14:13

@praepondero

This:

Oh, and some described David Cameron as looking like a "Freshly wanked cock." He was PM at the time.

Is so true it's painful. I have always wondered what does he remind me of and this is it! All shiny and purplish and slimy. Grin.

Eeewwww!!😂😂😂
Sparklfairy · 26/11/2020 14:13

@Hoppinggreen

sparklefairy I knew I would achieve greatness one day but didn’t think it would be like this. Still, I will take it
I must say your layers solution stayed with me too. It was a beautiful combination of perfectly logical and utterly bonkers Grin
Hoppinggreen · 26/11/2020 14:08

sparklefairy I knew I would achieve greatness one day but didn’t think it would be like this. Still, I will take it

SunshineOutdoors · 26/11/2020 14:04

capodimonte thank you! Going to reread it now....

TurquoiseDragon · 26/11/2020 13:59

I remember the thread where the lad came on offering IT advice. I'm on that thread under another name. Was so, so funny.

I think a read through Classics might be in order..... Grin

Capodimonte · 26/11/2020 13:59

@sunshineOutdoors here is the link 😁👌

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/752184-hauck-stroller-pound-25-Asda?pg=1&order=

Maranello4 · 26/11/2020 13:58

Lady who recommended the Elton John movie if you wanted a ‘boost in the fanjo’ Grin

Sparklfairy · 26/11/2020 13:57

@Hoppinggreen

I’ve been mentioned twice on here I was the one who starred ww3 amongst our friends with the argument about eating mothers AND I was the idiot who took my coat off so baby DD was wearing 1 more layer than me I should be embarrassed but I’m not
You HAD to do those things, it was your destiny that you would become MN famous as a result.

Twat fate I tells ya Grin

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 26/11/2020 13:54

I'd quite forgotten bout Brian from Ull.

Wonder what he's up to?

purplecorkheart · 26/11/2020 13:51

There is a thread in Classic about a woman who was asking about home anal bleaching. Some of the replies on that thread are hilarious. The one that stood out for me was the poster who suggested that she did not leave the bleach on for too long in case she would end up looking like a polo mint.

Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 26/11/2020 13:42

'Punch the cake!'

Andylion · 26/11/2020 13:38

@BillCar

Oh I've just remembered a hilarious thread where a poster wanted ideas on what to buy lesbians for Christmas, must try and dig it out.
Not wearing my glasses right now and I read that as "where to buy lesbians". I assumed there had been an autocorrect in the original post that caused the hilarity.
InTheShadowOfTheMushroomCloud · 26/11/2020 13:37

One of the first threads I saw was about a woman who had a new baby. She was concerned as she had farted near to the baby. Fart was smelly and she was worried her baby had now consumed poo vapour..
I did laugh but I was also concerned about her...

Hoppinggreen · 26/11/2020 13:37

I’ve been mentioned twice on here
I was the one who starred ww3 amongst our friends with the argument about eating mothers AND I was the idiot who took my coat off so baby DD was wearing 1 more layer than me
I should be embarrassed but I’m not

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