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Original poster

Crackers you've read on MN

416 replies

MrsMarrio · 25/11/2020 00:19

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me Grin

OP posts:
Oneearringlost · 27/11/2020 18:09

@BullshitVivienne

The clothing / style one when the post said she looked like a fat match.
Wasn't that " a fat match on toothpicks"? Or similar...v funny indeed
SlopesOff · 27/11/2020 18:01

I posted 'Que' on the Manuel driving thread. Although there has been more than one of those threads.

So many threads in Classics have had me crying with laughter, even when I have read them before.

Gancanny · 27/11/2020 17:50

- glaring at DH at 2am while he lies there sleeping like a smug twat with his useless fucking nipples and I feed the baby again

@Gancanny talking about creasing not to have another baby “useless fucking nipples”

Thanks @Dontsaykwen, its one of those things the baby books don't mention. They should have a chapter titled "here is a list of all the things you will irrationally resent your partner for during the newborn days".

GingerLiberalFeminist · 27/11/2020 17:49

The one that got me hooked on MN was where a woman came home and found her neighbour had planted shrubs in the woman's garden. Much discussion ensued of the type of plant, but it boiled down to trying to fill the gap in the hedge/fence.
Someone suggested she put a life size cut out of Nicholas Cage there instead, staring at the neighbours. I still giggle about that now!

Moorethemerrier · 27/11/2020 17:44

@Newmama29

“Snapped & farted” still brings me to tears thinking about it 😂😂😂
Yes I think about this one often too!
stampsurprise · 27/11/2020 17:38

@TomHanksintheMoneyPit

Bash tits on the keyboard and hope for the best was meeeeeeeeee! Smile Smile
😂😂😂😂
TomHanksintheMoneyPit · 27/11/2020 17:32

Bash tits on the keyboard and hope for the best was meeeeeeeeee! Smile Smile

BikerWife · 27/11/2020 16:43

I've just read the book recommendations thread and cannot stop laughing! Grin

Mycatismadeofstringcheese · 27/11/2020 13:31

@minou123

This is the craziest thread I've read recently:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/what_were_reading/4046416-Old-Lady-Christmas-Book?pg=1

Its such an innocuous, lovely thread: an poster asking for book recommendations for her 84 year old mum.
It descends, it what I can only describe, as the most bizarre posts of all time.

But very funny.....

I missed this at the time but love how a thread requesting gentle book recommendations has someone declaring in exasperation, “ She's 84! She's not about to go off and bomb Pearl Harbour because OP bought her some James Herriot.”
Blurpblorp · 27/11/2020 12:43

@GailsPlait our daughter went through a phase of not eating when she was 3/4 years old & and sausages were one of the things she'd eat. We went out for lunch and took them as a doggy bag in case she got hungry on way home. He popped them in his pocket. In the original thread, the bloody balloon went up when I disclosed this was at a Toby Carvery HmmGrin

GailsPlait · 27/11/2020 11:18

[quote Blurpblorp]@GailsPlait nope, cooked.[/quote]
I genuinely can't work out if its weirder they were cooked or if it would've been weirder if they were raw to be honest! I didn't see the thread, did you figure out why he had sausages in his pocket? I can only assume he was trying to lure dogs...

GailsPlait · 27/11/2020 11:17

@minou123

This is the craziest thread I've read recently:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/what_were_reading/4046416-Old-Lady-Christmas-Book?pg=1

Its such an innocuous, lovely thread: an poster asking for book recommendations for her 84 year old mum.
It descends, it what I can only describe, as the most bizarre posts of all time.

But very funny.....

Absolutely bonkers 'but why can't she be like me' Confused Grin Poor woman just wants a nice cosy book about a bloody village!
wannabebetter · 27/11/2020 11:00

I loved the saga of a woman who fancied her builder. Many characters were introduced along the way & I know many of us were singing "hold me closer tiny plasterer" for months!!

minou123 · 27/11/2020 10:44

This is the craziest thread I've read recently:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/what_were_reading/4046416-Old-Lady-Christmas-Book?pg=1

Its such an innocuous, lovely thread: an poster asking for book recommendations for her 84 year old mum.
It descends, it what I can only describe, as the most bizarre posts of all time.

But very funny.....

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 27/11/2020 09:49

MNrs are the funniest, most acerbic lot I've seen.

Have enjoyed this thread enormously.

MyMistakeToMake · 27/11/2020 06:53

I can't remember exactly how it was worded but a poster wrote about how she was laid on her side in bed with her boobs laid next to her! Really painted a picture and I could totally identify!

Blurpblorp · 27/11/2020 06:48

@GailsPlait nope, cooked.

Aldilogue · 27/11/2020 04:06

There was a thread about chavs and a poster said “rides a mini motorbike through the thread”. Far out, so funny.
Someone also called the guy from Grand Designs, Kevin Macleod a lip licking tit glancer.
Hilarious 😂

Original poster
MrsMarrio · 27/11/2020 00:15

@Dontsaykwen literally just read that! Howling

OP posts:
Dontsaykwen · 27/11/2020 00:11
  • glaring at DH at 2am while he lies there sleeping like a smug twat with his useless fucking nipples and I feed the baby again

@Gancanny talking about creasing not to have another baby “useless fucking nipples” 😂😂😂

Inarightpickleandpreserve · 26/11/2020 23:59

Artisanal slippers. Classic

RedRec · 26/11/2020 23:19

The one about the husband mistaking the birds' fat balls for posh Scotch Eggs. And eating them

GailsPlait · 26/11/2020 23:17

@Blurpblorp well...were they raw?!

PerkingFaintly · 26/11/2020 23:12

The poster had, for reasons she couldn't rightly explain, introduced herself at a conference as "Angela Hernandez".

It wasn't her name.

From the back of the hall came the voice of her colleague: "No, I'm Angela Hernandez."

PerkingFaintly · 26/11/2020 23:09

The Angela Hernandez thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/650904-The-Least-Professional-Moments-of-My-Illustrious-Career-Please-Feel

So much has been removed it looks like a lace curtain, but it's still dangerously funny and may cause stomach pain and shortness of breath.Grin

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