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Original poster

Crackers you've read on MN

416 replies

MrsMarrio · 25/11/2020 00:19

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me Grin

OP posts:
angelfacecuti75 · 28/11/2020 02:53

The one with the Penis beaker

Magpie1976 · 28/11/2020 00:08

'Boil in the vag' soooooo funny

grifffendor · 27/11/2020 23:55

I remember one poster complaining about her friend locking the bathroom door as she and her two children kept coming in to use it and op did not want the kids to use the upstairs toilet as there was too many stairs . They were on holiday in a cottage , turns they each had own bathrooms. one of the comments that someone put down made me giggle .
''my kids use an upstairs bathroom at home , I have been told with some therapy they get over it with time '' or something along those lines -lolz

MrsWooster · 27/11/2020 23:32

Its. My autocorrupt is a vulgarian

MrsWooster · 27/11/2020 23:31

@AaronCardigan

I found Mumsnet because I had as going through a miscarriage. I decided to stick around when I found a thread about staged washing up areas and a stunt pineapple. I knew I had found my people.
Stunt pineapple is a belter-iirc, the owner /operator of the pineapple felt very slightly ashamed? I hope she is vindicated by it’s fame and the fact that I, and I guess many others, still refer to all pineapples as stuntpineapples
GabsAlot · 27/11/2020 23:14

crying at some o f these stillreading the tinternet thread

is that bloke for real

Nackajory · 27/11/2020 22:47

Does anyone remember the thread where the OP was encouraged to arrange a date at a penguin enclosure at a zoo?

Nackajory · 27/11/2020 22:45

The thread about how youblookbon zoom calls- someone commented she looked like Kim Hong Il. Still makes me chuckle now Grin

Nackajory · 27/11/2020 22:44

Thanks BullshitVivienne Grin

tinkywinkyshandbag · 27/11/2020 22:40

Absolute gold. I love the parents making wanking gestures to say hello.

BullshitVivienne · 27/11/2020 22:33

12/02/2015 21:51HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway

Oh thank GOD you're here! Thank you SO much. I've been using these magic boxes for over 20 years without a CLUE what I'm doing. I remember when the demon known as the internet came into my house. you'd have been about 5 back then. I have been keeping the evil at bay with chicken legs and candles. Thank goodness you've arrived.

Back when my job involved working on these machines all day, I just bashed them with my tits and hoped for the best.

I'm not actually sure how I managed to get on here, tbh. I was dusting it one day and all this stuff appeared.

TitBashGate

BullshitVivienne · 27/11/2020 22:29

Snapped and farted was only funny when it seemed as though it was a typo. The IBS thing didn't make sense and the way the OP responded made me think it was an attention seeking troll.

TomHanksintheMoneyPit · 27/11/2020 22:15

I know, because I screencapped it and whatsapped it to my friend group with a message saying, "Mumsnet famous at last."

Babdoc · 27/11/2020 22:13

Thanks for reminding me of the anal bleaching thread! It had me in fits at the time. Someone even wrote new lyrics to “Whiter Shade of Pale” on that thread. I must try and find it in classics.

TomHanksintheMoneyPit · 27/11/2020 22:13

It bloody was not! 😂 Howcanimissyouifyouwontgoaway was one of my old usernames, ya cheeky bugger! 😂😂

I promise you it was me! But not under a username that's anything like that, under a different one. It was maybe five or six years ago? Maybe we both made the same joke?

Tabsvik79 · 27/11/2020 22:10

My favourite ever was on the Jeremy Kyle show not MN. “ if this is a competition, and he is the prize. Why did u both enter?” Pmsfl so Savage

UnlimitedChipsAndSalsa · 27/11/2020 22:10

Doing these from memory, so I'm sorry if they're not "with knowledge".

On a thread about lunch ideas for an older teen (long list of things the DD wouldn't eat), someone suggested an apple and a note that says, "Grow up".

On an embarrassing toddlers thread, someone told of the DC pointing at a lady's minge in the changing room and just saying, "Uh oh!" Still cracks me up.

pongopig · 27/11/2020 22:07

I still smile when I think about the woman who sent her husband to the shops with a list that included loo rolls and he came back with 100 bread rolls.

DreamTheMoors · 27/11/2020 22:01

@GenuineKlatchianPottery

*Today 00:30 FlouncerInDenial

GenuineKlatchianPottery
A thread that’s now in classics.
OP kept hearing sex noises coming from her hedge.
Unanimous vote from MN “It’s foxes”
OP replies “I’ve never heard a fox ask for a finger up their bum”.
If you'd read the thread, love, you'd know it was hedgehogs, not foxes.
Slightly cringing for you.

If you're going to quote something, at least do it with knowledge*

I’m frightfully sorry. I shall leave the thread forthwith and will never reminisce again.
Pfft

@GenuineKlatchianPottery Here’s a little song for @FlouncerInDenial — 🎶 Every party needs a pooper, that’s why we invited you🎶 🎶Party Pooper🎶 🎶PARTY POOPER🎶
ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 27/11/2020 21:51

Snapped and farted was hilarious. Just casually chucked in amongst the real point of the post. I cried with laughter, DH thought I was bonkers.

52andblue · 27/11/2020 21:48

many of these, but some are new to me = thank you thank you thank you

I offer 'cube of poo' (can't do links, sorry)

bananamonkey · 27/11/2020 20:45

Whenever I need cheering up I think about baby Balonz

FromTheAllotment · 27/11/2020 20:40

Can’t believe twatting a spider to death has barely been mentioned. My favourite part of that thread was the fact that, owing to the title being “I have LITERALLY twatted a spider to death”, loads of responses were “you have not literally - oh, I see you have, carry on”

LastGoldenDaysOfSummer · 27/11/2020 20:34

Mexican house thief had a post about a stealth bridesmaid that was hilarious.

Bride didn't want bridesmaids or pageboys. MiL wanted granddaughter to be a bridesmaid and got very snarky. Was put in her place but on the day the bride turned round to discover MiL had dressed the child as a bridesmaid and there she was behind her.

AaronCardigan · 27/11/2020 20:26

I found Mumsnet because I had as going through a miscarriage. I decided to stick around when I found a thread about staged washing up areas and a stunt pineapple. I knew I had found my people.

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