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Original poster

Crackers you've read on MN

416 replies

MrsMarrio · 25/11/2020 00:19

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me Grin

OP posts:
Oneearringlost · 29/11/2020 17:00

@BalloonSlayer

The toothpicks one might have been from a post I read where the poster described her ExDH, who had left her due to a midlife crisis. Despite having rather a large beer belly, the midlife crisis had extended to him wearing skinny jeans. He looked, she said like " a planet on toothpicks."
Ah, yes...you're right, thank you. Wonderful
Judashascomeintosomemoney · 29/11/2020 15:32

The OP came back to let us know Balonz (nn Onzo), and his big sister, Data had a little brother or sister on the way but, unless I missed it, I don’t think we ever found out the name?

sashh · 29/11/2020 10:46

Can anyone else remember the woman with the shop who had got a privately educated saturday boy?

SHe went on and on about how wonderful he was, the way his hair waved etc etc.

Then she got arsey at comments and demanded her details were deleted and kept on demanding and giving more details while everyone said, "report your post".

Furries · 29/11/2020 04:06

I think it’s in Classics, but for me it was the thread about looking after a friend’s daughter for a day/night. Not sure if it was true or not, but it was so well written and descriptive that I didn’t really care.

Boredofitallnow · 28/11/2020 22:46

Absolutely howling at these 😂

Mrsfrumble · 28/11/2020 22:05

OMG BALONZ! How could I forget 😂😂😂

They couldn’t decide between Sean, Daniel and.... BALONZ. Apparently Balonz was not unusual where OP came from. Which was Surrey. Absolutely brilliant.

frewer · 28/11/2020 21:58

ShellsandSand That was Bupcakes, who name changed before asking advice about her itchy lady bits. Only she hadn't actually name changed, it was one of the funniest threads ever. That and the lady who was camping with her kids and the couple in the next tent were having a loud sex session. When the questioning got difficult she pretended to pass out. Brilliant.

Gancanny · 28/11/2020 17:41

The questionable jogging bottoms with the saggy crotch.

DressingGownofDoom · 28/11/2020 17:33

@Echobelly

A thread about men over-complaining when they're ill made me laugh so much - I think it included mention of men wearing 'the dressing gown of doom' and, my favourite, that when he felt really bad, out came 'the scarf of certain death'

Yes, it was kind of mean. But also hilarious!

The shuffling slippers of sadness Grin
DressingGownofDoom · 28/11/2020 17:31

I was once told to go back to rocking in the corner and eating pot noodles Hmm because I laughed at somebody who bought like 30 bottles of zoflora on a Mrs hinch page.

Also saw someone once say that milk won't quench your thirst because it is a food Hmm

VettiyaIruken · 28/11/2020 14:38

@TomHanksintheMoneyPit

The post on p2 of the linked thread is definitely not mine, mine was on a really short thread. So I concede defeat, and with my apologies, but I definitely made a very similar comment on a separate thread at some point.

Great minds think alike maybe?

Oh absolutely 😁
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 28/11/2020 14:27

Whenever I need cheering up I think about baby Balonz

Yes!! Also, this quote:

Can you imagine the hours of sad-eyed Balonz hopelessly twirling the displays that have named mugs/fridge magnets/handkerchiefs/buckets and spades/hair clips/purses etc that reside in every gift shop in the land?

Mind you, at least there won't be any sibling rivalry/sulking because Data found her name on a novelty octopus.

GabsAlot · 28/11/2020 14:05

penis beaker op was so shocked noone else used one

and she used one too when ttc? i dont thin i wanna know

TomHanksintheMoneyPit · 28/11/2020 14:01

The post on p2 of the linked thread is definitely not mine, mine was on a really short thread. So I concede defeat, and with my apologies, but I definitely made a very similar comment on a separate thread at some point.

Great minds think alike maybe?

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 28/11/2020 11:24

Fashionistas in a taxi queue

This is one of my favourite threads of all time. Op wanted to push to the front of a taxi queue because she had kids GrinGrin it was very funny.

icelolly99 · 28/11/2020 11:12

Anyone remember the 'fly seat on the bus' thread......

ShaunaTheSheep · 28/11/2020 10:29

Now I’m overly invested. Maybe this was your comment @TomHanksintheMoneyPit?

all EmpressOfJurisfiction Thu 12-Feb-15 21:54:12
Bashed them with your tits, HowCanIMissYou? I spend all this time debugging and running tests, and I could just be bashing the computers with my tits?

VettiyaIruken · 28/11/2020 10:13

No fighting btw. It's rather funny that I feel I need to prove it 😂

VettiyaIruken · 28/11/2020 10:07

I can't cos I deregged !

Here is the thread being talked about - I am everything you hate about people on the internet, I am here to help.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/2307274-I-am-everything-you-hate-about-people-on-the-internet-I-am-here-to-help?pg=1

My comment
12/02/2015 21:51HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway

Oh thank GOD you're here! Thank you SO much. I've been using these magic boxes for over 20 years without a CLUE what I'm doing. I remember when the demon known as the internet came into my house. you'd have been about 5 back then. I have been keeping the evil at bay with chicken legs and candles. Thank goodness you've arrived.

Back when my job involved working on these machines all day, I just bashed them with my tits and hoped for the best.

I'm not actually sure how I managed to get on here, tbh. I was dusting it one day and all this stuff appeared

Do you have two sons, both with autism, one with erbs palsy too?
Talking about my kids autism

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/2305012-Potty-Toilet-training-an-ASD-child

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/2287818-Is-it-unusual-for-a-child-with-Aspergers-to-love-cuddles

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/2297338-ASD-Did-you-would-you-have-another-child
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_educational_needs/2301939-A-quick-Question-to-anyone-with-or-a-parent-of-a-child-with-ASD

Shoulder dystocia
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_health/2275491-Shoulder-dystocia

sashh · 28/11/2020 09:46

@FlouncerInDenial

You can drop the 'denial', go on, flounce like a fox, pretending to be a hedgehog, don't even wait for the finger.

Echobelly · 28/11/2020 09:20

A thread about men over-complaining when they're ill made me laugh so much - I think it included mention of men wearing 'the dressing gown of doom' and, my favourite, that when he felt really bad, out came 'the scarf of certain death'

Yes, it was kind of mean. But also hilarious!

JackyFrost · 28/11/2020 09:14

@TomHanksintheMoneyPit

It bloody was not! 😂 Howcanimissyouifyouwontgoaway was one of my old usernames, ya cheeky bugger! 😂😂

I promise you it was me! But not under a username that's anything like that, under a different one. It was maybe five or six years ago? Maybe we both made the same joke?

The only way to settle this fight, is to change your username to the username attributed to the original post...
Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 28/11/2020 08:42

@TerribleLizard I just snorted with laughter at that mum taking off one of her own layers. Love it.

wishywashywoowoo70 · 28/11/2020 08:16

@GenuineKlatchianPottery

A thread that’s now in classics. OP kept hearing sex noises coming from her hedge. Unanimous vote from MN “It’s foxes” OP replies “I’ve never heard a fox ask for a finger up their bum”.
Snorting
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