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Original poster

Crackers you've read on MN

416 replies

MrsMarrio · 25/11/2020 00:19

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me

OP posts:

KittenFace · 01/12/2020 06:56

This thread is the gift that keeps on giving!

The thing that tickled me about the name change fail thread was the typo "my vagine is itching like mad", which I instantly said in my head with a French accent.

Also, anyone remember the Fanny Condensation thread?

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 01/12/2020 06:30

Does anyone remember the time Chaos cifed her fanjo while cleaning the bathroom? (Oh Chaos where art thou?).
And the poster's DD who pooed on next doors pouffe?
This thread has reminded me of some brilliant posts over the years.

champagnetruffleshuffle · 01/12/2020 04:31

Oh my life this thread is hilarious, thank you!! I started reading last Thursday and lost it, so happy I found it again! Have to share my my two faves..

The one where a woman is complaining that a man is getting naked in the swimming pool changing room with his children, saying it is in appropriate etc only to reveal later in the thread that SHE is in the MEN's changing room. Absolute must read!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3754015-bare-bum-in-dressing-room-aibu?watched=1

And the other is a fantastic thread of next door neighbour funnies, there are soo many in it but my fave has to be the neighbour that asked to mow the poster's front lawn, because he had no grass, but then proceeded to plant shrubs and cut the dividing hedge so he could see in to her garden. You won't be disappointed!!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3690736-ndn-funnies-tell-me-i-m-not-the-only-one-lol

80sColourfulChristmas · 30/11/2020 19:07

@MaddeningtheUnhelpful

The one where there was an Irish lady, I think it was a bin situation. Anyway she put out Officer Olaf

loved that thread

Omg I remember that one! Just the vision of her neighbours returning home to Olaf sat there in their parking space in a hi-vis!!!! 😄😄😄😄

80sColourfulChristmas · 30/11/2020 19:04

@TR888

I remember a hilarious thread about random substitutes in supermarket home deliveries. One poster ordered raspberries and she got raspberry-flavoured condoms 😂.

In another supermarket thread, people were having a laugh at the text messages you get to let you know your shopping it's on it's way. One poster had a message saying that their delivery man (who was Portuguese) would soon be arriving: "Jesus will be bringing your shop at X time" - cue remark: "only in Ocado".

Jesus in the Cabbage Van 👳‍♀️

80sColourfulChristmas · 30/11/2020 19:01

@Cattenberg

I liked the one where a MNer was out and saw her parents driving past. When they saw her, they smiled and made a wanking gesture at her.

It turned out they had a neighbour who didn’t like them and who made this gesture at them. The parents were oblivious to his dislike and thought it was a new way of waving hello. So they’d drive around merrily making wanking gestures at everyone they knew.

Omg this is the funniest thing I've ever read on here! Jesus Christ

CreakingatTheWhinges · 30/11/2020 18:37

the one a few years back about an MN'r in a senior position at work and being mansplained to by a new hire (I think) The MNr in question titled him a Shart Goblin which perfectly summed him up and the thread was brilliant.
Also yes to the PP who mentioned the lady in the bus and the fly wheel and not one of us had a clue what OP was on about. Ever helpful suggestions from readers but she just got more and more wound up and flounced off the thread....never did find out what she was on about!

CorianderBlues · 30/11/2020 12:21

"Wankpuffin".

My new favourite word.

Lorddenning1 · 30/11/2020 12:08

@WankPuffins the story is crazy, plus everyone else's stories too, I mean I thought my ex was bad with my kids and he is but not as bad as PP
I will contribute to your thread later, but like I said I'm not sure it's in the same level, Karma did get him though in the end

WankPuffins · 30/11/2020 10:59

@Lorddenning1 ha that was me! It all ended in curry and a hangover and has been all quiet on the ex wanker front since

WankPuffins · 30/11/2020 10:57

Oh thank you all.

I'm halfway through this thread.

I'm having such an awful time at the moment but this has me actually wiping away tears with laughter.

OrraBoralis · 30/11/2020 09:09

My absolute favourite was when the OP was complaining her kids had stretched out on her just changed bed linen in their outdoor clothes. One poster commented My cat always lies on my bed in his outdoor fur... the bastard!

That just tickled me and we tell the cat to get off the bed in her outdoor fur.

Lorddenning1 · 30/11/2020 07:44

Can I just invite you to have a laugh at my exh? You'll like this.www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4080968-Can-I-just-invite-you-to-have-a-laugh-at-my-exh-Youll-like-this
This thread I'm currently reading, OMG!

Blurpblorp · 30/11/2020 06:33

@cataclysmiclife

My favourite was 'Penetration man' a thread where the op had met a guy and he'd whispered 'penetration' in her ear thinking it would turn her on. The whole thread was pure gold!

Oh god, this had me crying

BullshitVivienne · 30/11/2020 06:27

It's on page 10 of this very thread.

AfterSchoolWorry · 30/11/2020 05:40

@LunaNorth

I loved the thread started my a young fella who wanted to give all us ‘ladies’ advice on using IT.

You can imagine how that went. The best comment went something like,

‘Thank God you’re here. I’ve just been bashing the keyboard with my tits and hoping for the best.’

Oh, I'd love to read this! Anyone have a link?

MrsWooster · 30/11/2020 00:18

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I adored the recent post from a woman debating whether to buy joy rider sex toy or the breville sandwich toaster.

And the person who told her to just buy a frying pan instead, which would do both jobs in one

And the woman who told her to buy the sex toy because it’s so much easier to clean!

FlippinNoah · 30/11/2020 00:16

There was a thread about (I think) embarrassing farting incidents and a poster said they did a fart that sounded like it had a question mark at the end. Brilliant!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 29/11/2020 23:32

The woman who responded to letchy wolf-whistling builders high up on scaffolding by shouting "WILLY, WILLY, WILLY!!!!!!" at them, at the top of her voice

Original poster

MrsMarrio · 29/11/2020 23:25

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I adored the recent post from a woman debating whether to buy joy rider sex toy or the breville sandwich toaster.

And the person who told her to just buy a frying pan instead, which would do both jobs in one

That is hilarious!

OP posts:

MsTSwift · 29/11/2020 23:21

Years ago read one where the dh would strip to the waist and bang his chest and do a Tarzan yowl and run through the house. Op in moment of madness did the same )also topless) to be met with horrified looks from the dh and their builder who were sitting at the kitchen table looking at plans. Proper laughed at that.

Also the fact v reality thread howler after howler. One where the dh said the poster looked like an escapee from a home for distressed gentlewomen or similar. Very funny.

FVFrog · 29/11/2020 23:00

OMG this is a completely brilliant thread! I’ve had to stop reading at page 2 and save it for another time, I’ve got a herniated disc and I’m laughing so hard it’s making my sciatica hurt really badly!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 29/11/2020 22:48

I adored the recent post from a woman debating whether to buy joy rider sex toy or the breville sandwich toaster.

And the person who told her to just buy a frying pan instead, which would do both jobs in one

Nameandgamechange123 · 29/11/2020 20:20

I adored the recent post from a woman debating whether to buy joy rider sex toy or the breville sandwich toaster.

cataclysmiclife · 29/11/2020 20:13

My favourite was 'Penetration man' a thread where the op had met a guy and he'd whispered 'penetration' in her ear thinking it would turn her on. The whole thread was pure gold!

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