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Original poster

Crackers you've read on MN

416 replies

MrsMarrio · 25/11/2020 00:19

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me Grin

OP posts:
Mycatismadeofstringcheese · 25/11/2020 21:09

Someone described Jacob Rees Mogg as “he looks like he ejaculates dust” . 😂

LunaNorth · 25/11/2020 21:07

I like the line about washing left out overnight being ‘darked on’.

Ugzbugz · 25/11/2020 21:06

Usual debate about how to wash clothes and towels etc and someone replied

I dont want willy sweat on the tea towels

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lurleene · 25/11/2020 21:06

Talking of Keir Starmer one poster described him as looking something like 'a man who had just trapped his fingers in a drawer.' That comes to mind whenever I see him, I can't unsee it.

LunaNorth · 25/11/2020 21:02

The Suzi Quattro’s fat nan thread was my all-time favourite - the line that still makes me laugh was the woman who walked into her house with a new perm and her BIL said, ‘Bloody hell, it’s Colonel Gadaffi!’ Grin

I was the fat match by the way

Pepperwand · 25/11/2020 21:01

@DCIHoops yes! That was the one. Still howling at "husband says whoever's doing it is very childish but he's a poo poo head so what would he know?"

backaftera2yearbreak · 25/11/2020 21:01

The one where a lady tested no tears shampoo in her eyes.

There was a bizarre one about a foodbank. Someone had donated oatcakes and kidney beans and was told it may not. E the best thing, she was raging, saying people should eat kidney beans on oatcakes with tomato purée instead of the other “carp” at food banks.

Thurlow · 25/11/2020 21:01

@PostmanSpaff

Same thread as Suzi Quattro's nan I think, about fashion disasters. A woman said she bought a massive cashmere scarf to wrap around her but she ended up looking like Bobby Sands. 😂
I was about to say that thread. The comment that attempting to wear a pashmina to look classy made a poster look like "steerage class on the Titanic" quite honestly made me snort my drink, and I always thought that was a myth.
letsmakethetea · 25/11/2020 21:00

@TerribleLizard

One poster said she was dressing her baby to go out, and knew that the advice is the baby should be wearing one more layer than the adult, but she realised that they were wearing the same number of layers, but she thought the baby would be too hot with anything else. So she simply took one of her own layers off.

I think about that a lot.

I also think about this a lot!

A personal favourite: not my circus, not my monkeys

PostmanSpaff · 25/11/2020 20:57

Same thread as Suzi Quattro's nan I think, about fashion disasters. A woman said she bought a massive cashmere scarf to wrap around her but she ended up looking like Bobby Sands. 😂

CheeseAndHackers · 25/11/2020 20:54

Thread about celebrities you either loved or hated. One poster described Jamie Oliver as a fat tongued cunt. I knew I'd found my people.

Newmama29 · 25/11/2020 20:52

“Snapped & farted” still brings me to tears thinking about it 😂😂😂

OhSoScared · 25/11/2020 20:49

@Purpler5

Brilliant idea for a thread.

I read one earlier - parking thread, there was a “drive” but no dropped curb...“That’s not a drive, that’s just a patio with aspirations” Grin

I saw that earlier, it really made me laugh! 😂

Has anyone got the link for the fox sex Bush one? Is it still around?

SydneyCarton · 25/11/2020 20:44

Not really a laugh out loud one, but there was a thread with an OP worrying about her daughter who was having a tough time at university and asking for advice on how she could help. Most people were being supportive but one poster came on harrumphing about how she’d been at Leeds Uni in the 70s and they were all terrified of the Yorkshire Ripper, so her daughter should just toughen up and get some perspective Confused

FractionalGains · 25/11/2020 20:38

Someone said Keir Starmer was trying to appease both sides regarding certain issues, and accused him “trying to ride two horses with one arse” Grin

Also loved a phrase seen here “I wouldn’t shag him with someone else’s vagina”. Can’t remember who it was said about though!

nancybotwinbloom · 25/11/2020 20:32

GrinGrinGrinGrin

DCIHoops · 25/11/2020 20:31

[quote nancybotwinbloom]@DCIHoops I remember that thread it was
Great [/quote]
‘You have to make time for the important things Kath’ Grin

Batshitkerazy · 25/11/2020 20:30

I loved the one this week about DH farting on the new sofa, and someone said to put a puppy pad down for him Grin

MrsGulDukat · 25/11/2020 20:29

"Does she have a tin plated fanny?"

That was a reply for an OP who was discussing her friend complaining about not getting an hour of PIV sex with her new partner, like she did with a previous partner. It still makes me snigger.

Oh, and some described David Cameron as looking like a "Freshly wanked cock." He was PM at the time.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 25/11/2020 20:28

I am Canadian was brilliant. Was that the one where the OP was accusing her DH of not putting up the stair gate correctly?

Not quite the OPs directive but the thread that still sums up MN for me is the cross OP in a doctors surgery whose toddler was playing up told him to “stop being a whiny tinker” but the words which actually came out in the hushed waiting room was “stop being a tiny wanker” 😂

nancybotwinbloom · 25/11/2020 20:24

@DCIHoops I remember that thread it was
Great

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 25/11/2020 20:23

Greg Wallace DOES actually look like a thumb 😂😂😂

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 25/11/2020 20:15

Snapped and farted still gives me the giggles Grin

AudTheDeepMinded · 25/11/2020 20:14

Also the thread where the OP claimed she'd shagged her DC's teacher at parents' evening and wanted to know should she tell her husband. One poster replied 'Yes, ideally in the Queen Vic on Christmas Day'. I think it did turn out to be a troll thread in the end.

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