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Crackers you've read on MN

416 replies

MrsMarrio · 25/11/2020 00:19

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me Grin

OP posts:
TabithaTowers · 25/11/2020 21:51

Thread about two women in wheelchairs having an argument or a scrap.

Quick as a flash, poster below says 'Are you in Scotland OP?'

Your minge and I am Canadian!

Fat match, Suzi Q's Nan, uncouth Cypriot goat herder- from the expectation v reality thread.

StealthPolarBear · 25/11/2020 21:48

Pagwatch's autocorrect disaster when she told her dh they were having 'anus anus' for dinner.
A sound described 'like Frances De la Tour coughing into a bin'

Sidge · 25/11/2020 21:43

Cos penis beakers was utter shit. Not remotely funny.

Tangledtresses · 25/11/2020 21:39

Defo penis beakers!! I cried laughing at that

And the fat balls one comedy gold 😂😂

nixso29 · 25/11/2020 21:37

The one where the OP husband ate the fat balls from the fridge 😂

GeorgiaMcGraw · 25/11/2020 21:36

I'm in so much pain from laughing, thank you so much to everyone on this thread!

Chutneymaura · 25/11/2020 21:33

Can’t believe no ones mentioned penis beakers yet 😬

Woahisme · 25/11/2020 21:33

Ah, farted* obvs. Stupid autocorrect

Woahisme · 25/11/2020 21:32

There was one a while ago about a poster who said her husband was giving her oral one day. As he was down there, she darted and he looked up and said "you've just given me a centre parting".

I howled 😂😂😂

JorisBonson · 25/11/2020 21:30

Sometimes, when I've had a bad day, I like to pull up the screaming at the Michaelangelo thread. It still gets me.

BillCar · 25/11/2020 21:27

"Bloody hell, it's Colonal Gadaffi!" had me in fits. Another vote for Patio with aspirations from today's thread - absolute vintage MN

JorisBonson · 25/11/2020 21:27

"That would clamp my fanny shut like a bear trap".

KenAdams · 25/11/2020 21:25

Ahh I had such a good one for a thread like this. Naturally I've forgotten it.

My favourite was one about something quite technical, I think scientific with lots of (mostly female) professionals that worked in the related field on it and someone piped up with "well my husband thinks..." l. Husband was a lot less qualified than most of the professionals on the thread. A poster responded "stop the thread everyone, someone's husband has spoken".

SendHelp30 · 25/11/2020 21:19

@TerribleLizard I came on to say that exact same thread 😂

SunsetBeetch · 25/11/2020 21:18

Oh yes the "fat match" comment from Mumbod:

"A horrendously short pixie crop that I inexplicably had dyed orange. I looked like a fat match."

FromDespairToHere · 25/11/2020 21:18

My favourite thing I've ever read on here is a woman who went swimming and clearly had baby brain because she forgot to put her bottoms on. She sat on the side of the pool holding said baby and her DH hissed "Jane! Your minge!"

NeonIcedcoffee · 25/11/2020 21:17

[quote Gancanny]I loved the thread where the husband went to do the Christmas food shop and bought the most random, wrong things.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1643390-For-the-first-time-ever-DH-DS-went-off-to-do-the-xmas-food-shop-I-am-still-laughing[/quote]
12 tog toilet roll!! Grin

NeonIcedcoffee · 25/11/2020 21:16

Cross posted with you! @Mycatismadeofstringcheese

So good! Do spiders have Willie's?

DrDavidBanner · 25/11/2020 21:16

I still chuckle to myself about Angela Hernandez, I think cos its something I would do Grin

DareGreatly · 25/11/2020 21:15

@BouncyMonk

I don’t know if this is really what you’re looking for, but I remember on a thread about famous people you fancy, someone said Cillian Murphy’s face looked like a freshly waxed vagina!

Oh blimey it made me laugh! Think about it every time he’s on telly!

Actual Lol'ed at this one. Thank you.
Gancanny · 25/11/2020 21:15

I loved the thread where the husband went to do the Christmas food shop and bought the most random, wrong things.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1643390-For-the-first-time-ever-DH-DS-went-off-to-do-the-xmas-food-shop-I-am-still-laughing

NeonIcedcoffee · 25/11/2020 21:15

@LunaNorth

I like the line about washing left out overnight being ‘darked on’.
Omg this was so funny. Was this the same thread about the spider Willie's?
Mycatismadeofstringcheese · 25/11/2020 21:13

Spiders’ willies on washing in the dark still gets me.

DD found a spider on an apple yesterday and it took every fibre of my being not to say, “Oh, no it’s rubbing its willy all over it!”

NeonIcedcoffee · 25/11/2020 21:11

The one with the baby layers had me laughing out loud. I do also like that the dressing gown of doom is often used here now.

I like spoony fucker, when op was saying her dh comes into the kitchen and stirs pots on the hob etc and just generally interferes.

I'm also glad I learned the phrase Disney dad from MN as unfortunately there's a lot of cause for it to be used in life.

letsmakethetea · 25/11/2020 21:09

@Sidge

Mostly the ones mentioned already.

The sex fox in the bushes was HILARIOUS.

As was Suzy Quattro’s fat Nan.

There are some very funny MNers.

I still love “no I’M Angela Hernandez”

I wondered how long it would be before someone mentioned Angela Hernandez Grin

Another gem: Tim Dowling, for example, is a twat