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Original poster

Crackers you've read on MN

416 replies

MrsMarrio · 25/11/2020 00:19

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me Grin

OP posts:
HeIsAVeryBadBoy · 25/11/2020 23:18

Somebody calling Michael Buble a 'slimy, Christmas cunt' is up there with my favourites.

Hailtomyteeth · 25/11/2020 23:16

The awful cunt for the butter was two respectable Irish ladies, I think.

Love the dining table sitting there like a cunt.

GreenClock · 25/11/2020 23:11

Loving this thread!

Bamboo15 · 25/11/2020 23:09

I can’t believe fat balls has only been mentioned twice!

Nicknacky · 25/11/2020 23:06

cattenberg I lived on a bus route as a child. My sister told me that hand gesture meant “hello”. I said “hello” to all the bus drivers.

Bloodybridget · 25/11/2020 23:05

My own not so brilliant(ly) typo there!

Bloodybridget · 25/11/2020 23:05

I remember a year or so ago, a brilliantly typo, "boil in the vag rice"!

barbedwired · 25/11/2020 23:01

Charmkin trying to do links in her 'what do you think of this dress?' thread.

Someone said ' snurk, she can't do links and no one likes the dress'

Hilarious thread

TR888 · 25/11/2020 22:58

I remember a hilarious thread about random substitutes in supermarket home deliveries. One poster ordered raspberries and she got raspberry-flavoured condoms 😂.

In another supermarket thread, people were having a laugh at the text messages you get to let you know your shopping it's on it's way. One poster had a message saying that their delivery man (who was Portuguese) would soon be arriving: "Jesus will be bringing your shop at X time" - cue remark: "only in Ocado".

36degrees · 25/11/2020 22:58

Someone being described as 'an awful cunt for the butter', I could definitely relate.

WarmSausageTea · 25/11/2020 22:45

3rdName, the thread is somewhere in Classics, but the OP has since deregistered, so all their posts have been deleted, and the thread itself is like Swiss cheese.

BearandaSpare · 25/11/2020 22:45

The fat balls one was so funny, when he thought they were artisan scotch eggs and didn’t wonder what the twigs were for 🤣

haircutsRus · 25/11/2020 22:27

Dear Reader, I urge you to not read this thread while eating a Hob Nob.

ImnotCarolineHirons · 25/11/2020 22:25

@LunaNorth oh god yes that thread was great. My next name change may be KeyboardTits Grin

3rdNamechange · 25/11/2020 22:24

Can anyone link the Angela Hernandez one please ?

PimlicoJo · 25/11/2020 22:18

Thanks for this thread - it's made me laugh out loud and cheered me up. So many threads are antagonistic and gloomy these days.

I loved 'Colonel Gadaffi' - I only have to think about it and I laugh out loud.

Not quite the same, but my favourite ever Mumsnet thread was Elderly Korean Lady. Gives me a warm glow just thinking about it.

Cattenberg · 25/11/2020 22:15

I liked the one where a MNer was out and saw her parents driving past. When they saw her, they smiled and made a wanking gesture at her.

It turned out they had a neighbour who didn’t like them and who made this gesture at them. The parents were oblivious to his dislike and thought it was a new way of waving hello. So they’d drive around merrily making wanking gestures at everyone they knew.

LastGoldenDaysOfSummer · 25/11/2020 22:14

One that has passed into common usage in our family.

The poster had sold her dining room chairs but the table remained and was a source of annoyance.

She described it as sitting there like a cunt.

3rdNamechange · 25/11/2020 22:14

[quote kyssedbyfyre]www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3288349-people-keep-having-sex-in-my-hedge?pg=3[/quote]
I cried laughing at this

Zubla · 25/11/2020 22:11

My glasses are steamed up I’m laughing so much and I still haven’t got through all the posts 🤓

ivfbabymomma1 · 25/11/2020 22:06

Does anyone remember the Pom bear/ dinner party fiasco?

LunaNorth · 25/11/2020 22:04

I loved the thread started my a young fella who wanted to give all us ‘ladies’ advice on using IT.

You can imagine how that went. The best comment went something like,

‘Thank God you’re here. I’ve just been bashing the keyboard with my tits and hoping for the best.’

Lorw · 25/11/2020 22:03

Literally howling at this thread 😂

WarmSausageTea · 25/11/2020 22:02

If I remember correctly, the background to this was a poster complaining about swearing on MN. One of the replies was ‘Off you fuck, then, cuntychops.’

There was also the poster who, I think, has something stuck fast to her hob. One poster suggested she try sex lube and a fish slice.

And yes to ‘your minge’ and ‘I’m Angela Hernandez’.

Grin
Neilsfavouritechilli · 25/11/2020 21:52

Someone being told they sounded "like an absolute scrubber" I can't remember what the thread was about but I hadn't heard that as an insult for many a year and it made me laugh.