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Original poster

Crackers you've read on MN

416 replies

MrsMarrio · 25/11/2020 00:19

Just a bit of fun. I've read some really awful threads on MN, then there in the comments is that poster that says something hilarious. I've got a few stored in my head.

In relation to a cheat going to the OW - "they think the grass is greener on the other side because it's covered in bullshit'

A post about partner being friends with the opposite sex, someone told a story of their other half getting 'mentionitis' about another woman who turned out to be cheating

And my favourite, a poster had took back a guy after a few break ups to which someone responded 'that's like fishing shite out the toilet- just flush'.

Anybody else got comments stuck in their mind for any future reference that fits or just me Grin

OP posts:
GailsPlait · 26/11/2020 10:02

@CigarsofthePharoahs

How about the poster who accused others of "Smacking F5 like a demented seal". However my favourite thread of all time is Lemon Drizzle Cake.
That's how I found mumsnet! I was searching for lemon drizzle cake recipes and put something like 'lemon drizzle for pta or school bake sale' hoping to find a lower sugar/kid friendly recipie and found it so its my favourite thread of all time too.
Original poster
MrsMarrio · 26/11/2020 09:57

@praepondero yes it's a very fitting description of him. A cock inside and out!

OP posts:
praepondero · 26/11/2020 09:53

This:

Oh, and some described David Cameron as looking like a "Freshly wanked cock." He was PM at the time.

Is so true it's painful. I have always wondered what does he remind me of and this is it! All shiny and purplish and slimy. Grin.

Mycatismadeofstringcheese · 26/11/2020 09:48

@BillCar

Oh I've just remembered a hilarious thread where a poster wanted ideas on what to buy lesbians for Christmas, must try and dig it out.
I remember that one. Lots of suggestions, my favourites being lesbian jam, and lesbian teatowels.
WelliesWithHeels · 26/11/2020 09:18

I completely forget the context, but OP stated that her DH was from the country that basically invented gift giving. Someone replied with "Is your husband from the North Pole?"
I don't know why but that really tickled me 😂

CigarsofthePharoahs · 26/11/2020 09:17

How about the poster who accused others of "Smacking F5 like a demented seal".
However my favourite thread of all time is Lemon Drizzle Cake.

FromDespairToHere · 26/11/2020 09:06

Thanks SunsetBeetch

I'd remembered the "your minge" quite wrong, how sad. People must be cringing for me Grin

BillCar · 26/11/2020 09:01

Oh I've just remembered a hilarious thread where a poster wanted ideas on what to buy lesbians for Christmas, must try and dig it out.

Riv12345 · 26/11/2020 08:45

Husband shuffling in the dressing gown of doom because he had a cold is my favourite

Always makes me laugh

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

BeckyWithTheGoodHair5629456 · 26/11/2020 08:31

@ImnotCarolineHirons

Yes there is a poster who still has the name JesusintheCabbageVan Smile
I always interchange cabbage van Jesus for campervan Jesus of Robbie fame.
longwayoff · 26/11/2020 08:14

The thread in which a man asked "would I be treated like this if I was a woman?" He'd been for a hospital appointment and, I think, had been left with his genitals exposed whilst staff did something else. He felt badly treated and violated. You can all imagine the replies. They were graphic, extensive and absolutely hilarious.

seventeenyearsago · 26/11/2020 08:14

There was a thread in style and beauty about a lady who had had a disastrous haircut, her hair had been hacked really short around her crown.

Her husband's response was that she looked liked she had been prepped for brain surgery. Grin

ineedsun · 26/11/2020 08:13

Someone pointed out that you don't wax your vagina though (which is technically true)

ineedsun · 26/11/2020 08:13

@BouncyMonk

I don’t know if this is really what you’re looking for, but I remember on a thread about famous people you fancy, someone said Cillian Murphy’s face looked like a freshly waxed vagina!

Oh blimey it made me laugh! Think about it every time he’s on telly!

That was me!

I'm so happy

LunaTheCat · 26/11/2020 07:57

I cry and cry when I read the Sistine Chapel one!

jingabellrock · 26/11/2020 07:22

I'd almost forgotten about

Bluesheep8 · 26/11/2020 06:59

Sometimes, when I've had a bad day, I like to pull up the screaming at the Michaelangelo thread. It still gets me.

The Sistene Chapel screamer was absolute comedy gold Grin

TeachesOfPeaches · 26/11/2020 06:56

A landlord unsure what to do with their house which has tenants in.

Poster responds: you should give the house to the tenants. It's only fair.

TeachesOfPeaches · 26/11/2020 06:54

Someone posting about their DH/relationship being 10% horrible.

Poster responds : you wouldn't eat a cake that was 10% shit so why put up with this? Grin

Harriedharriet · 26/11/2020 06:19

@FromDespairToHere

My favourite thing I've ever read on here is a woman who went swimming and clearly had baby brain because she forgot to put her bottoms on. She sat on the side of the pool holding said baby and her DH hissed "Jane! Your minge!"
Me too. I had tears streaming down my face, and could not stop belly laughing on a public train!! Her writing painted the picture so vividly, and the killer was she was annoyed at him for shouting at her before she realized! I looked for it again and could not find it.
isthismylifenow · 26/11/2020 06:09

Yesterday's opening reply to the bork thread.

Its a sound a small dog makes.

Grin
Winterfellismyhome · 26/11/2020 06:05

There was a thread about the best food to use during sex and someone replied with "a roast dinner"

Still makes me laugh Grin

ItsAlwaysSunnyOnMN · 26/11/2020 06:02

Your minge
Colonel Gaddafi

Lots I can’t remember

There are a few threads about growing up when health and safety wasn’t given much thought are always funny. One particular story of a class testing out how electricity is conducted by them holding hands and the teacher touching an electric fence had me hysterics. It still makes me laugh

TeapotCollection · 26/11/2020 05:50

This is very old but I’m hoping someone else will remember it

A MNer took her very young son swimming. In the changing room afterwards he went up to a woman who was bending down to dry her legs and parted her arse cheeks “because he wanted to see what was inside”