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Original poster

NOT what I expected to wake up to this morning...

969 replies

AlanThePig · 18/10/2020 15:12

Some of you might recall we have a rather large pond in our garden. On it we have a pair of ducks. First day of lockdown appeared ten, beautiful ducklings. They grew up, flew away and that was that until next spring.

Except I woke up to this......
There are ten more (seven in this photo) and I can only assume the warm weather has thoroughly confused her.

I'm now going spend the next few months fretting over bloody wildlife.

NOT what I expected to wake up to this morning...
OP posts:
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Original poster
AlanThePig · 03/03/2021 15:33

All quiet here still. The geese visited briefly last night but when I got back from the shop they had gone.

One pair of ducks. Pond looks a bit like a duck exploded as it's covered in small downy feathers. I now know where the phrase 'feathering your nest' comes from. She certainly prefers the 'character property' and is ignoring the new build, though they do tend to chill out on it in the daytime.

Have now transferred my enormous bamboo to big pots and am extremely happy to see those on the patio and not the half constructed roof of next doors shed (this bothers me, DH thinks it funny but it's an ugly, half built thing and it's in my eyeline)
As an aside, my Bamboo budget was only £115. I went to the garden centre wanting 4. He had 4 and a straggler left but they were £40 each. I told him my budget, asked nicely and left with all 4. Pays to ask sometimes!

Lots of plans for the next few weeks weather permitting. Mostly involve fence replacing and painting, but I have a an idea to stencil a few of the slabs in the back garden and brighten those a bit. Also thinking of putting a bed out around the pond with a few plants in to brighten things up so researching what loves a good moist soil and grows quick as I have no patience....
Suspect whatever I put in there I'll find a duck in the middle of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
AlanThePig · 27/02/2021 18:24

Hmmm you’re probably right. I do like prairie planting though. Need to have more of a plan rather than my usual “ooh that’s nice!” When I get to the garden Center 😂

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Knotaknitter · 27/02/2021 16:39

My experience is that you only need to buy one grass plant. By the end of this season you will have as many as you can ever want, as will your neighbours too.

TheSilveryPussycat · 27/02/2021 14:56

She obviously prefers "quirky and lived in" rather than a bland newbuild Wink

Original poster
AlanThePig · 26/02/2021 21:44

We’ve still only got the one pair. She’s been nesting today, annoyingly in the old house. She has ventured into the house on duck island but looks like she prefers the old place.

Been lovely here today. Ive put some Virginia creeper in on the front fence and then dragged DH to the garden centre for some bamboo for pots on the back patio and some wild bird seed. Took the wrong car completely and found four almost 7ft bamboo for a bargain price that I couldn’t fit in his car properly. Ended up with me sat in the car park whilst DH ferried home giant bamboo two at a time.... I think he’s just about forgiven me 😂

I’m having a bit of an eBay declutter at present and anything raised will go on more plants for around the pond. Definitely thinking a few more acers and some prairie type grasses. Trouble is I watch a gardening program and get grand ideas without the budget.

OP posts:
thesandwich · 26/02/2021 21:02

😂😂😂

AliceSprings123 · 26/02/2021 19:41

GrinGrinGrin

Horsemad · 26/02/2021 18:22

😁 great pic!

Original poster
AlanThePig · 26/02/2021 17:29

@CannotOperateOnThisFailure

twitter.com/JohannaKoBe/status/1364869415850938369

Have you seen this? The #ihaveaduckonmybalcony tag on Twitter. A seventh floor balcony Shock

Ha! That does not shock me. They will nest anywhere.

I may cook Egwina for Easter lunch if she keeps doing this..... (as an aside, after I took the photo she fell out backwards and landed with a splash. She styled it out wonderfully though 😂

NOT what I expected to wake up to this morning...
OP posts:
CannotOperateOnThisFailure · 25/02/2021 10:46

twitter.com/JohannaKoBe/status/1364869415850938369

Have you seen this? The #ihaveaduckonmybalcony tag on Twitter. A seventh floor balcony Shock

Wardrobes123 · 22/02/2021 10:51

This is the loveliest thread I’ve read in a long time.

Alanthepig- you and your DH sound so wonderful, even if you are beholden to ducks. It’s great that you’ve really invested in getting the pond to be perfect for the local wildlife.

NoGoodPunsLeft · 22/02/2021 07:27

We went for a walk along our local canal yesterday morning, DD was interested in the ducks playing 'chase'

We saw a couple of moorhens fighting, they have such a cute squeak we couldn't take them seriously 🤣

Original poster
AlanThePig · 21/02/2021 23:19

@coastergirl

I've been lurking for ages. I saw ducks in the park today and all I could think about was the corkscrew penis and feeling sorry for the females!

Still love the thread though.

Changes that idyllic cute little ducks bobbing on the water narrative a bit doesn’t it. All quiet after the pigeon scrap. A lot warmer today and the fish are at the top. Sat on the bank for a bit feeding them breadcrumbs. Spring is a sprunging Grin
OP posts:
coastergirl · 21/02/2021 21:10

I've been lurking for ages. I saw ducks in the park today and all I could think about was the corkscrew penis and feeling sorry for the females!

Still love the thread though.

AlisonParker1 · 21/02/2021 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

RandomMess · 21/02/2021 17:22

Ironically I knew all this yet somehow managed to forget????

We have ducks at work too!

🤦🏼‍♀️

Original poster
AlanThePig · 21/02/2021 16:07

@Soubriquet

Did you know ducks also have a corkscrew penis? Grin

Also a female will have two tunnels inside her. If she likes the male, she will allow her to fertilise her eggs

If she doesn’t? She sends the penis down a dead end hole

I did know this. I know far more than I ever wanted to about duck mating....

Meanwhile I’ve just run outside to break up a scrap between two pigeons. Happy Sunday everyone Grin

OP posts:
BarbarasStripedHands · 21/02/2021 14:21

That's awful. I never realised it was that bad.
Poor female ducks :(

Soubriquet · 21/02/2021 08:53

Did you know ducks also have a corkscrew penis? Grin

Also a female will have two tunnels inside her. If she likes the male, she will allow her to fertilise her eggs

If she doesn’t? She sends the penis down a dead end hole

Original poster
AlanThePig · 20/02/2021 23:07

@Soubriquet I confess my little dream of sitting with a glass of something watching ducks happily Bob along was somewhat shattered when Duncan tried to rip the throat out of some other passing mallard.

Embarrassing confession.
Duncan is called Duncan because the first mating season we were here he was attacking The then nameless Egwina. He was pushing her under water. I didn’t know at the time that was mating behaviour and I I exclaimed to DH “oh! He’s dunking her!”

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 20/02/2021 20:52

We interrupted a duck raping session once

A poor female was being drowned by 3 males. She was right next to the bank so dh stepped down, scared the males off and picked up the female.

He placed her on the river bank and she just flopped, completely exhausted.

We waited until she got her breath back as the males kept getting closer.

Eventually she managed to stand up, ruffle her feathers and fly away...the males chased after her but I hope she managed to land somewhere safe

Original poster
AlanThePig · 20/02/2021 14:35

@WildRosie

Have the frogs and toads returned yet ? I expect you'll hear them before you see them.
No, all quiet on that front, but our population was down a fair bit last year in favour of the newts, so be interesting to see which prevails this year.

@Cavagirl it is quite upsetting to watch, first year we were here I was out shouting at ducks more times than I care to count, but then I figured I needed to step back. If I'm out and they are scrapping/raping/pillaging I'll shout at them, but I don't go out of my way to deal with it anymore IYSWIM.

Duck Island has been accepted happily (or as DS has taken to calling it, Desert Island Ducks), we've only got Duncan and Egwina today so its reasonably peaceful. They have been on the island and poking their heads in the house so we might get a nest in there. Whether the other mating pair return and take the other house remains to be seen....

Water levels have dropped slightly, still high but not worryingly so anymore. Be interesting to see the February video and see how it rose and fell.

NOT what I expected to wake up to this morning...
OP posts:
Cavagirl · 20/02/2021 09:56

Oh wow I can't believe this thread is still going! I've nominated it for Classics Grin

At my (all girls) school we had a duck pond, around this time of year there was an informal general policing of the pond at lunchtimes to break up what we perceived to be the violent raping of female ducks! Generally involved shouting at them and throwing the odd stick in the water so not particularly successful. In many ways a good discussion point for young teenage girls around consent though, we all had very strong views that the male ducks were very wrong and evil! It is particularly brutal though, I struggle to think of any other species where there seems to be the same threat of death alongside mating...

whataballbag · 20/02/2021 06:32

I'd forgotten about this thread!!

rainbowstardrops · 20/02/2021 06:22

I absolutely love this thread! Smile