What’s the most mortifying situation you’ve ever found yourself in?

@Findmeonetsy - Reminded me when I was at the dentist, he had his finger in my mouth, shouted suction to the assistant. For some reason thought it was aimed at me, and I sucked his finger

Just lol at this and had to pretend it was a mini snore so as not to wake OH 🤣🤣🤣

I dropped a tampon on the boss‘a foot years ago while making my way to the toilet during a meeting. I picked it up and slid it in again but it fell out yet again, hitting his foot and rolling along the floor. Turned out there was a hole in my pocket. It was one of the orange rustling paper clad Tampax.

I was once in a consultation with my spinal surgeon who I was seeing due to two slipped discs in my neck.

He was a very professional, awkward sort of chap, who wasn't one for seeing the funny side of things.

He asked me how my arm was feeling, and in my head I wanted to describe that it felt like I was walking around with a dumbbell in my hand.

What I actually came out of my mouth was that it was like walking around with a bellend in my hand.

As soon as I said it I knew I had got it wrong. I went to laugh but he didn't join me. I stopped laughing and just stood there. It was a bloody awkward silence after that let me tell you.

Was lonely and desperate and hooking up with a friend. Halfway through a blowjob and I took a quick break to change position and he grabbed his phone. I asked what he was doing and he said he was checking for messages from his mum.

That was probably my lowest, most humiliating moment - that he was so uninterested in me that he thought of that halfway through oral sex. Took me a long time to wise up to the fact he didn't give any sort of shit about me in any way, shape or form! Hard lesson learnt about that loser

Gave a delivery driver a full on view of bra and boobs. Stupidly decided on delivery day to wear my work blouse instead of the tee shirt we also had. Delivery driver pulls up, really nice guy who I always made a coffee for and had a little chat with. He pulls the delivery in and about 5 of the cages wouldn't go into the stock room so he leaves them in the corridor. Did his usual of securing the Truck back up and asking for a coffee. I went upstairs to make us both one and on the way back out because I had a cup in both hands I ended up catching the button on one of the cages. Didn't think anything to it until whilst we were talking and I could see him desperately trying to avert his eyes. Thought it was strange as he always kept eye contact whilst we were talking. Then he was like erm your top has come undone. Me thinking it was just a top button glances down and notices it open pretty much down to my bellybutton. I nearly died on the spot. We are actually together now and no it wasn't the flashing of the boobs that did it although he did say that on that day he wanted to look a lot more than the quick glimpse he got before looking away.

Oh my goodness @MsKeats, I'm sorry that happened to you but it made me wheeze laugh like Mutley!

I've found I'm oddly complimentary when coming out of sedation, last time I told the nursing staff how nice their hats were and what a lovely time I was having.

Possibly my recreational drug taking days 20 years ago mean I'm amenable to any drug now.

@wildforthenight thats brilliant! I bet you made those lads day!

@Northernsoullover I'm actually weak laughing here. I haven't laughed out loud in so bloody long these are brilliant. Just what I needed

So this was years ago when people still smoked cigarettes in naice restaurants. Office party, people dressed in suits, people standing at the bar smoking. Big Boss comes up to me and asks me for a light. I reach into my purse and pull out what I think is my lighter, holding it up to his cigarette. Ha ha no, it's my lipstick. We both have a laugh.

I then reach into my purse, pull out my lighter again and hold it up to his cigarette. Only this time it's a Tampax.

I turned bright red, turned around and RAN.

My dog stole a walking stick. Mortified is not even the word.

Name changed for this as it's bad!

At a very naice wedding. Sitting after the meal when I suddenly did a tiny fart. Had no warning it was going to happen and realised with horror that it felt like I had followed through. Jumped up to go to the bathroom, looked down and there was a MASSIVE shite stain ALL over the seat and halfway up the back of the white chair cover!! It was everywhere, like baby diarrhoea. Didnt know what else to do so just sat back down on it. Spent the next hour begging my mum/sister/boyfriend to set off the fire alarm so everyone would evacuate the building so I could hide the chair cover & run to the toilet. It was just AWFUL.

I also poo'd myself in McDonald's It was not long after DS1 was born and things were still not quite ok downstairs. I slunk off to the loo, wrapped my knickers in toilet roll and binned them, wiped as best as I could and put my luckily unsoiled jeans back on. I don't think anyone knew but still. I couldn't wait to grab my order and go home!

Many years ago I had a gynae surgery, I came round pretty groggy after reacting badly to the painkillers I had been given.
The nurse looked really familiar and I was struggling to place where I knew her from. She helped me to the loo which was all rather undignified and asked if I was sure I didn't mind her taking me. It was only after that it dawned she was an ex boyfriends mum from my teenage years. I was too poorly to be mortified at the time, she was absolutely lovely though and a total professional.

I had a really bad experience with alcohol (possibly spiked) at uni. I was totally out of it and fell right down the steps of the building (Steve Biko building in Manchester if anyone knows it) leaving an imprint of the pavement in my forehead. Then I threw up in my friend's kitchen sink. Her flat mates were better behaved than us lot and were horrified. That night I was hallucinating eye balls on the wall shooting lasers at me, my friends admitted that it scared them, they weren't sure what was going on. It took 2 days to puke and sleep whatever it was off.

OMG, thank you all. You have moved me from crying to laughing! Literally out loud, and DH has also enjoyed/empathised/sympathised with the tales of mortification - he's married to me after all, he's had his fair share!

😂 this thread has made the laugh for the first time in a long time!

I threw a surprise party at my ex's new work place ( tattoo and piercing parlour ) on his first day of work. He dumped me over text whilst his manager had me hid in his cupboard. He opened the door to what must've looked a deranged sight with me holding a birthday cake and a naked flame coming from a lighter in the dark. Still makes me cringe now 8 years later. We are good friends now but god it makes me cringe.

I've posted this before but one time I was in the gym changing rooms, rushing to change for my class. I was trying to shove my leg into my gym leggings but there was a blockage. Suddenly my foot shot through the end, propelling before it a pair of worn pants which must have still been in there. They flew through the air and LANDED IN SOMEONE ELSE'S BAG.

OMG I wanted to die. She handed them back with a look of utter disgust (unsurprisingly).

I've just had a moment right now. Young broadband salesman at door. I starting laughing at something he said and did a huge snort... which hopefully covered the sound of the accompanying little popfart.

@HelpOrHindrance 'Looks like rain today' has made me cry-laugh!

Went to a post office to sort out our tv license, waited ages while the line behind was getting bigger and bigger but finally it was my turn. Lady behind the counter asked if it was black and white? no, it’s silver. She asked again, no it’s silver, 32 inch blah blah but it’s definitely silver. She said no dear the picture colour is it black and white as it’s cheaper if it is. How the heck was I supposed to know people still had b&w TVs! Everyone behind me heard and I was so embarrassed.