My husband is tired. I thought I’d better tell you all

"Darling, I was going to organise a nice day out or a lovely dinner, but actually I've topped it all this year. I have hoovered the house FOR YOU! Don't you love your nice clean carpets? Isn't it fantastic?"

One of many bits of MN advice and pieces of reproducible guidance that I've noted for the next time something similar occurs!

Thank you for this thread!
So glad to know that the Tired is a mandemic and I'm not the only married to this.

So many recognisable themes here:

It wasn't "good quality" sleep honey (but was snoring so loudly that he woke himself up..)

I'm "shattered" because the baby was up all night (yes, he woke up once, briefly paused snoring - and then - resumed. I contemplated putting a pillow over his face)

The huffing and puffing,yes. The martyr makes an appearance every single morning.

But my favourite: the nocturnal cunty owl. If you're so tired why the f can you not, you know, simply go to sleep? Instead of watching telly half the night?!

My mother in law has told me: DH is not like a normal person. He needs more hours of sleep than a regular person so he CANT help with the baby at nights, robin, it's just not possible for him. YOU have to take care of him and the baby. (He is a favourite only son. A classic illustration of how deep rooted the problem is....)

Then he wakes up 9 hours later and I bite: what's wrong honey?

I'm so tired, I didn't get any sleep....

@RatinaMaze oh the burping he’s now my ex but every single time he was unwell with whatever - a cold, a migraine, a stomach bug - he would get out of bed, come to the kitchen table in his pants & a scabby t shirt and sit there looking very sorry for himself then start with the fucking burps I’ve never felt like burping when I’ve got the cold. It got to the point where the kids and I mocked him which is clearly not fair when he’s in the middle of a man illness.

Wonder if the OW gives him some sympathy

Mine has form for storming into a room, doing the sighing and puffing and eye-rolling (which we all ignore because as you all know, acknowledgment just encourages it all...) raising his arms up in the air and proclaiming that he is “Sick of this shit” regardless of whatever is going on - could be the kids doing their homework, me cooking dinner, etc.... I have finally learned to bring out the cheese-grater as a visual cue to tell him that whatever he’s responding to has nothing to do with me or the kids and he can take it away or be prepared to feel a special kind of pain.

Dp is fairly robust bless him (if you exclude his repeated claim that I steal the duvet and the image of him sausage rolled in the duvet snoring half the night must in fact be some form of hallucination 🙄) but he is generally a trooper and rarely complains about being tired (once 6 months into the relationship he huffed and puffed and I told him to knock it the fuck off...he has rallied since )

I did notice though the other day that after 10 years of being married to the huffiest of puffiest, permanently tires (whilst eating shit and smoking too much and sleeping twice as much as me ) exdh I had without realised still listened to the complaints when he rings DC of the evening. No problem with the facetiming DC, all good.....then I realised I had begin to ask a purely polite perfunctory all ok with you? And the huffing and puffing about tired had become a theme.

Bliidy hell even when I divorce him he got me , it's amazing how fast I heard the DC start to call for me and I had to dash off the phone .....ergh.

Thank you for this thread. Mine has indigestion. This means he must sigh, moan and stretch constantly while simultaneously making it clear that he is sulking and not in the mood for any chat with me. Oh and the burping - the godawful forced burping like he is trying to cough up a hairball. And obviously there is no point in him going to bed tonight because there's no way he could possibly sleep while feeling like this.

A while ago he seemed to have forgotten his own pain and started excitedly reading me an article about the newly released updated version of our car. I made the rookie mistake of remarking that he seemed a lot better which obviously reminded him that he was actually dying so immediately started the moaning, stretching and burping thing again.

@TW2013. That's so funny. A dressing gown of doom comes out occasionally here & we have a section of outside known as the alley of doom!

@LadyOfTheImprovisedBath we have a very similar charade happen here .. it can sometimes have the added suspense of opening a cupboard or two ..before declaring 'too tired to cook and all that'

Did I just hear the thwump of a very wet blanket or indeed a soaking dressing gown of doom?

Love this 😂 Mine is exhausted despite having the day off and sleeping for 8 hours. I was awake for 23 hours yesterday as our little one was grizzly all night but obviously I shouldn't be tired🤔

Did you all find these specimens irresistible enough to repeatedly impregnate you? I can’t imagine finding this acceptable. We are childfree and my husband, mysteriously doesn’t do this, nor does he dawdle a drive home or inexplicably develop a ‘hobby’ that requires him to fuck off into the sunset for whole days. Almost as if these losers regret banging out a load of kids and being expected to parent them is just too much

This is a brilliant thread. Has immeasurably cheered me up but couldn't explain why I was laughing to DH who was... yes you guessed it... tired! Two new words / phrases for nomination to Oxford dictionary: 'mandemic' and 'The Tired' 😴

Thank you for this brilliant thread which has made me laugh a lot. Not wanting to be a nocturnal cunty owl myself, I am off to bed to slip in and out of unconsciousness. Hope I make it through to morning safely 😬.

Not tiredness, but a pain one.

I'm single but have been treated to a daily update on my dad's knee, courtesy of my driven demented mother. He has a problem with one of his knees (possibly arthritis, possibly cartilage wastage) but obviously those doctors don't know anything.

Consequently, he shuffles round the house moaning and limping and constantly wakes mum up at night because he's in so much pain won't do physio, painkillers or any of the other prescribed things How she hasn't murdered him yet I don't know.

As an aside, the problem miraculoulsy disappears the second she's not in the vicinity

The best I remember came after years of him walking round the house saying just in my earshot 'so tired' - not so he could actually be accused of moaning to me about how tired he was, but obviously so I would know. One day, I heard him in the kitchen - he was doing the washing up thing which always results in water all over the bloody place and a mysterious 1/3 of the dirty dishes left for the House Fairy to finish off. It started with him going, so tired, so tired, so tired, then morphed into, I'm not tired! I'm not tired! I'm not tired! But said in such a way that he was clearly under the impression that he would somehow convince me? himself? the House Fairy? that he was really really really tired and had done far more than his fair share of the day's chores. And undoubtedly had earned several hours in front of the tv, motionless

@Cocolapew get him a Garmin, it measures sleep cycles so will tell him how much deep sleep and light sleep he has.
Mine is work from home for 3 months now. Up at the first crack of lunch time, my DC tell me ( as I work more than full time out of the house).
Woke me at 3am coming to bed.
Does not tell me he is tired, but did get a bit stroppy when I suggested he cook during the week while he is home. Apparently I am lazy for not wanting to cook after a 10 hour day at work!
Did see the error of his ways and is now going to cook during the week.

This was me last night - why oh why is their tiredness so important.

Thanks for sharing though OP - it's good we all know now and can feel his pain - and yours 😂😂😂

I remember coming home after a day of work where he'd hoovered 'for me'...

@Weetabixandcrumpets. What a lovely thought! How sweet of him to give you such a treat. At least you know what he'd like for his next birthday.

"Darling, I was going to organise a nice day out or a lovely dinner, but actually I've topped it all this year. I have hoovered the house FOR YOU! Don't you love your nice clean carpets? Isn't it fantastic?"

@ClaraLane too true, my ex husband got tired but l never ever have. He once got tired watching his friend sand our floors. I then oiled them and now ex husband went for a nap

I'm happily single, but I remember well the sighs and moans. The utter absolute exhaustion, so bad he could do nothing but flop on the sofa watching telly.

What I also remember is that same man, time and again, suddenly having enough energy when we went to bed to want to DTD! Hahaha. Nope - if you're too tired to do anything, then you're too tired to do that.

This will end up in Classics for sure! Brilliant thread - loving the descriptions of these brave, brave men and you pathetic wimmin who just dont appreciate them. Shape up or ship out ladies!!

And I remember coming home after a day of work where he'd hoovered 'for me'.... Exhausted, he was.

In fairness , When I am tired I will tell anyone remotely in ear shot from the moment I wake up untill the moment I finally have the joy of getting back into bed