To be annoyed that no one has ever told me I look like an actual sea monster in real life?

The struggle is real

I frown. Almost constantly. In my mind I'm showing respect by concentrating on what people are saying. But they must be looking at my face thinking what the fuck did I say to piss her off! Explains a lot..

I hate my voice! I'm from Essex and sound WAY more common on film.

OMG me too! In my head I have a typical 'southern accent' in a normal mid tone. On camera I have this booming low voice with a proper cockney accent, it's horrible!

Urgh, the worst is seeing yourself on video thought isn't it? A few months ago I went to a friend's party and some fairly end of the night footage appeared on WhatsApp the next day. In my head and in the mirror, I looked 'cool' with a modest but edgy dress to 'flatter my curves'. I was having a great time, not too drunk, dancing, life of the party!

So I don't know who it was in the video. The absolute whale on the dance floor, who looked every day of her 39 years and was actual MUM DANCING, with terrible posture to boot. 😭

When I Zoom chat I have to go to at least 5 different locations in my house until I get the lighting and position that I like!

Ha! You lot are my people! I did a MS Teams call last week with one of the new backgrounds, I chose the beach. For some reason, part of the screen picked up a section of my real dining room beyond my image and one of my colleagues said “what’s that on your head?” It genuinely looked like a giant phallus and because I can’t seem to keep my head still, it looked like the ‘end’ was bonking me on the head. Oh. Good. Grief.

@cherryandmerry I think we may be driving licence twins

I have genuinely cried laughing at this. Thank you OP.

I’ve gone feral and now there is video evidence! Trouble is I think I might be past caring. No make-up and my reading glasses on (otherwise I can’t see the screen properly). It must be painful for the other person. The really disconcerting one is where my voice comes back to me on a FaceTime call like a west country mouse on helium.

Best laugh I’ve had this week, thank you MNers!

Those Zoom/Skype images do nobody any favours.

The improve your appearance button...does it only come with the paid version of Doom?

Was that a typo or is it a special version for women of a certain age?

Chins! At least two more than I thought I had...

Giggling away to myself while reading this thread 😆
I've just finished a zoom call where I spent my time rearranging my hair to look less like a bird's nest, despairing over the wrinkles that seem to have suddenly appeared and wondering if my nose has always been that big

Lol I couldn't focus on the meeting because of my turkey wattle neck. I kept touching it too just to draw attention further

As a woman of a certain age, my advice is put the device higher rather than below you if possible...it hides the chins.

I've got a really smug smile. I look so pleased with myself. I didn't realise until I saw my self in motion on the screen. I thought that can't be right so went and double checked all my profile photos on FB and sure enough every single one has me smirking conceitedly at the camera. I don't understand it. I don't feel that way so why do I look it? It's made me so self conscious and now I never want to smile again!

Last night, after a couple of wines, I recorded a video for my class.

Don’t ever do that. Poor children.

Thank you to all of you for posting. I’ve wept laughing.

Shit shit shit I have to have a WhatsApp video call tomorrow! It’s all your lots fault, you poked the bear!
I only have my mobile and I’ll not be able to hold that up for long will I?
I’m digging out a hat, dark glasses and scarf to use as a face mask to hide behind! Unless I have a paper bag anywhere ..... ! Hold that thought, I have bandages, I shall wrap my head and look like the invisible man! 😂

I had to record a series of presentations for uni. The horror when I spied a double chin flapping away was too much, I ended him repositioning the laptop on top a tower of books and angling it so I could pull the flubber down without it being seen on camera

I also discovered I have a constant sarcastic, eye rolling expression on my face.

This is brilliant! I am 50, with most of my colleagues in their 20s, so resigned myself to being surrounded by funky, lithe, smooth skinned does in the office (even the men 😜😂) but have just given up now with video calling.

I console myself with the fact that I must be making everyone else feel better about their own appearance.

Ooh great tip, I might try this...at least I won’t look quite so witchy even if I sound it 😀

Oh thank you I haven’t laughed so much for weeks!

My voice always sounds like a mad woman on speed. I’ve been asked to read a story for my school but I think they may be asking for trouble!

I set my laptop camera to soft focus Dynasty style....
A little bit of Vaseline or lipsalve smeared on the lense and voila.... Crystal Carrington....now where are my shoulder pads!

The improve your appearance button...does it only come with the paid version of Doom?
No, but it's useless. Makes me look very very slightly soft-focus but changes nothing else. So basically I'm still aged Beaker/Doc Brown, but with a freakish, unwholesome spongy appearance.

The improve your appearance button...does it only come with the paid version of Doom?