To be annoyed that no one has ever told me I look like an actual sea monster in real life?

Guys, you have given me a much needed laugh this afternoon, thank you!!

I know what you mean Sparklingbrook my Nan haunts my house. Every time I look in the mirror she jumps in front of me.

Hahahaaa!!!
I watched a really good video about how to videocall from home. Some of the tips I remember:

• put stick on googly eyes by the camera, then look at them while you're talking
• sort out lighting (diffuse, soft). I have a yellowish dimmable desk lamp pointing down which is great

I also second the book thing to raise a laptop, if mine is just on the desk I have a double chin and view up my nose - 2 books is perfect

Everyone in video meetings looks completely normal except me, I look like a moose. I'm worried that everyone else is thinking that everyone else looks completely normal too, confirming that I do actually look like a moose ALL THE TIME. I've just removed Facetime from my mobile phone, I can never deal with any of this ever again. Thank god the government has told us all to stay in, I'm never leaving the house again.

@Sparklingbrook

I’ve only seen my cat’s bumhole on screen; never actually his face 🐈

I never knew I had such a massive nose or manly jawline

I look like a Cornish pasty. I sound like Helen Baxendale with tonsillitis.

I hear you OP. I Ve always known I'm not a beautiful woman but these video chats have schooled me that I am quite a site really. Clearly I am delusional - I don't feel like the fat, saggy, beady eyed woman with the hideous hair but....there it is. I notice everyone else looks the same as I see them in real life so it's sadly not the camera

I don’t look too bad but I sound absolutely awful. I’ve lived abroad in a French-speaking country for 10 years, so thought I’d mostly lost my regional accent. But no, I sound like a Brummie smurf

Thankfully I've never had the misfortune to have to view myself on screen, but I have had the unpleasnat experience of hearing a recording of how my voive actually sounds!

What I once thought was a subtle accent, has in fact turned out to be scarily similar to Liam Gallagher's! Now I know why one of my exes liked me to quote the Boddington's advert for him

My cat looks fabulous on FaceTime. I must ask her what her secret is.

@IamwhoIsayIam My DP is the opposite. He looks fine in real life, but I stood behind him in front of the mirror once and blurted out that he had a strange looking face

Sparklingbrook I look like Myra Hindley in my passport photo. Combination of not smiling, hair down. At least I hope.

Honestly, the number of times I’ve said this in real life and the person has gone HAHAHA of course you don’t. Then seen it and gone oh my God, you actually do.

Oh you are my people - I must have some reverse dysmorphia thing where I imagine I look ok. I know I am not thin, my skins a bit shit and stuff but who notices right? Turns out everyone when they look at you and when did my mouth go wonky, I thought anxiety about it looking weird once was making it go weird but no that’s my weird wonky mouth. I look like my own Imaginary fat uncle.

I've worked demo home for decades, have been participating in online meetings for years.... we never use video. We use the screens for sharing documents and graphics, doing demos of the software. Wtf would we want to look at each other?

OTOH I had my first zoom Pilates class this morning....

I look like a crumpled up sheet of grey paper with a huge red comedy nose slightly left of centre, framed by dull straw-coloured curtains, producing a droning monotone in a Welsh accent ten times thicker than it sounds in my head. Imagine Droopy's nan with the voice of Uncle Bryn from Gavin and Stacey with a really bad hangover.

I shift around a lot, partly to try and disguise my boobs and belly, and partly because I hate it when people feel the need to SHOUT (looking at you DH) so over-compensate with body language and gestures which I think helps people to understand me. No. I look like a twat sitting on an electric fence.

I thought I looked OK in real life, but on camera I look like that last surviving giant tortoise who went on tour with Captain Cook and lived for 200+ years.

Now I pile the make up on for videocalls. In the mirror I look like Barbara Cartland but on camera I look mostly like a human being.

Looking at colleagues just now, they all sit way back from their screen and they’re very still, plus their screens are up a height. I had the fake background but it’s very wobbly, so I turned it off and kept my double chin out of shot. 😢

I did a "zoom" last week for the first time.

Saw my lovely DM looking back at me.

She has been dead for 16 years.

Frightened the shit out of me.

Glad I’m in such esteemed company. I, too, look terrible, but so does everyone to be fair. Except for my boss, who looks bloody amazing - the camera just loves her. It’s very dispiriting 😂

Bwahahahah. Thanks, Mumsnet. I needed a laugh.

I'm so glad I've never watched myself. I look in the mirror so rarely these days I still get a shock when the face snarling back at me doesn't match the one in my head. Add voice and movement to that and... no thanks.

Spartacus - yep me too. Duct tape is very useful!