Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Which sentence did you say today that you'd never have said a month ago?

686 replies

Bluewavescrashing · 31/03/2020 17:51

Me- 'Wash your hands, you've just touched the post!'

OP posts:
Retracactableclaws · 06/04/2020 06:38

Ooh I should wash my hair and get dressed more often .....

I Wearing a bit of perfume and dh comes behind me said I smell nice... lets just say it set him off .... afterwards he asked why the perfume I said I wanted to feel human... i then actually got dressed and wore Jeans... it set him off again.. the dirty git....

ChilliMayo · 06/04/2020 06:13

"Stay in your bedrooms everyone, fat nudey lady on the prowl"

Although I've been saying that quite a bit lately, when I come in from a late shift (healthcare) and take all my clothes off at the front door and head straight for the shower.

bonnieclydesdale · 06/04/2020 05:36

That's extremely kind of you to offer but no thank you.

MooPointCowsOpinion · 06/04/2020 00:09

bonnieclydesdale where abouts are you and can I perhaps send food to you?

bonnieclydesdale · 05/04/2020 22:50

"I ate my dinner in the kitchen whilst I was clearing up" - me to my DCs when they were eating their dinner so they didn't know I hadn't had any. When I cooked it there wasn't enough for 3 people so I let them have it.

LalalalalaLlama · 05/04/2020 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Craftycorvid · 05/04/2020 22:35

To a random friendly dog in the park today: ‘ah, bless you! You don’t understand social distancing, do you?’

To DH as I set off to the park: ‘I’m just off for my designated exercise ration.’

TolstoyAteMyHamster · 05/04/2020 22:24

I really hope that when I wake up tomorrow, Boris Johnson is back to running the country.

reiki21 · 05/04/2020 22:23

My hubby is using the powdered coffee creamer instead of milk . I know we will need this. Can I give him back to his rellies after 40 yrs ? Please ? Jk. lol (really...) lol

Bluewavescrashing · 05/04/2020 21:47

This thread just came up on my Facebook feed.

I is famous 😎👌

OP posts:
KoalasandRabbit · 05/04/2020 19:59

My DH photographed the toilet rolls and sent me a picture from the supermarket the other day Grin

Asked DH (Head of Toilet Roll Crisis Monitoring) how many we have left today and he said 6 and I said we need to start planning how we are going to get more. He said it's fine we can leave it. I replied but what if we go onto a stricter lockdown like Spain's, we need more toilet roll as there's none in our nearest shop and DS (ASD) goes toilet roll fast. Then DH remembered he had hidden a secret 7th roll.

SpyApp · 05/04/2020 19:59

I wrote in my diary that the number of daily deaths has been ramping up.
Ffs. I didn't even think how shocking that sentence was till later

LadyEloise · 05/04/2020 19:54

Vixster43
I agree re the Michael Gove one. Smile

Pouragandt · 05/04/2020 19:46

*Him- I've got 18 toilet rolls AND 2 packs of paracetamol!

Me- come in quick before you get mugged.*

Hilarious! 🤣🤣

Vixster43 · 05/04/2020 19:29

Sssh im listenin to michael gove is the best

tigerbear · 05/04/2020 17:29

Hoovering the sofa was really satisfying!

magratvonlipwig · 05/04/2020 17:17

Anti bac wipe the door handles everytime you come back in, use the wipe to open the loo door, wash your hands and then wipe your keys and phone with it.
And then you can come in

Glittersparkle76 · 05/04/2020 14:09

Just as I'd got round to bingewatching The Walking Dead last night,DD7 says "Mom,can we do some schoolwork now,I feel like doing some"
Me- Not now!,go play on your Xbox instead.

Dk20 · 05/04/2020 11:42

@BamboozledandBefuddled

My dp yesterday: "were going to have to talk, I feel like I'm doing all the work around the house" - him joking after cleaning the oven, making the dinner, sterilising the babys bottles and cleaning out of the fire because he was so bored.

BamboozledandBefuddled · 05/04/2020 10:22

I'm never drinking and Zooming again

That cracked me up Grin

DH: I can't believe you did my washing up!! I suppose you're going to steal making the bed next!!

Never, in 37 years of marriage would I have expected that Grin

fikel · 05/04/2020 08:53

Hear.... lol

fikel · 05/04/2020 08:52

To my teenage daughter -
If you could do absolutely anything or go anywhere in the world tomorrow where would you go?
My daughter-
I would go to school!

Something I thought I would never here

trumpisaflump · 05/04/2020 08:45

I'm never drinking and Zooming again Blush

YetAnotherSpartacus · 05/04/2020 08:42

Shush ... I want to listen to Michael Gove

You win.

Oblomov20 · 05/04/2020 07:35

Dh: I've just cleaned your car.
Me: God. I knew there was a reason why I married you. ❤️