Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Which sentence did you say today that you'd never have said a month ago?

686 replies

Bluewavescrashing · 31/03/2020 17:51

Me- 'Wash your hands, you've just touched the post!'

OP posts:
RainbowCake · 31/03/2020 20:30

"You better get some hand cream as well, in fact you can have my posh good stuff if you want but I've spare cheapy for the other lads if you need it"
To my DH who has just had some strong hand sanitizer delivered to work.

My DH has never used hand cream and to be honest if he ever asked to use mine I would be Hmm

Aderyn19 · 31/03/2020 20:30

Rinse the coke cans before you open them - they've been dipped in Milton.

To DH - did you wash your hands after touching the post?

FraterculaArctica · 31/03/2020 20:28

"DD (age 3), take the stapler away from baby DS' toes". (I don't usually have the table covered in Twinkl worksheets that I need to file in a Home Learning journal).

Gibble1 · 31/03/2020 20:28

“I can’t see many dead relatives here”
To my colleagues when we were trying to have our morning update before work.

Drogonssmile · 31/03/2020 20:27

Also telling everyone I've spoken to today I managed to get an Ocado slot for tomorrow!

(Still not entirely sure how I managed that seeing as they're as rare as rocking horse poo).

Tahitiitsamagicalplace · 31/03/2020 20:26

"I'm just googling the instructions to make our own butter now"

Why is butter impossible to get hold of?!

needsmorebooks · 31/03/2020 20:26

"Ive put half the shopping in quarantine"

Drogonssmile · 31/03/2020 20:25

"I'm going to bake tomorrow with DS and then eat everything we've baked. No reason to slim down any more."

Said to my work colleague (disclaimer: key worker) as I'm fed up because my holiday is likely to be cancelled (disclaimer 2: first world problem, I know there are far worse things at the moment to worry about).

bestsquirrelinthewholehole · 31/03/2020 20:25

"Dd4 is on purplemash, and ds6 is learning the periodic table." said to my dh

WatchingFromTheWings · 31/03/2020 20:23

'I can't wait to go back to work.' Day 13 of isolation....

FawnDrench · 31/03/2020 20:19

To my DH - "oh great, you've brought home a carton of pineapple juice"

MillicentMartha · 31/03/2020 20:19

Alexa, what’s 196 divided by 3? 65.333?

OK, DS2, if you have 65g of Skittles they’ll last until Thursday.

Thekindyoufindinasecondhand · 31/03/2020 20:19

I've really made some headway on that jigsaw today

LuluJakey1 · 31/03/2020 20:19

Did you scrub that apple with washing up liquid and rinse it before you gave it to DS?

LuluJakey1 · 31/03/2020 20:17

I need to disinfect all the door handles this morning.

maddiemookins16mum · 31/03/2020 20:16

‘That’s not Peter Crouch and a banana is it?’ - the distance we are supposed to keep between two work colleagues in the carpark.

tiredmedic · 31/03/2020 20:16

Bugger the sparrows, those toast crumbs are MINE......

ToTheWall · 31/03/2020 20:14

To DH when he returned from work "take your clothes straight off and In the wash and you get in the shower"

Ninkanink · 31/03/2020 20:11

@rosea19 you can use celeriac exactly as you would potatoes. It’s really tasty. You can also use it raw for coleslaw/remoulade (just in case you haven’t figured out what to do with it yet!).

poshme · 31/03/2020 20:11

@rosea19 celeriac is yummy.
You can grate it raw with carrot & apple for a quick coleslaw, or chop & boil with potatoes & a bit of garlic for a delicious purée (delia recipe)
Or chop and roast
Or put in soup

MiniMum97 · 31/03/2020 20:11

Not today but yesterday:

While in Tescos to numerous fools people:

Keep back, you are supposed to stay 2 metres away.

And when I got home:

Right, I'm going to wash all the shopping that needs to go in the fridge. Well leave the rest in the car until it decontaminates.

poshme · 31/03/2020 20:10

The shop had eggs! EGGS!

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 31/03/2020 20:09

I'M SORRY I DONT WANT THE DOGS PENIS NEAR MY BUM!!!!

This made me Grin thank you!

brighthouse · 31/03/2020 20:08

Wash your hands ,you just lifted that box.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 31/03/2020 20:06

I’m sorry Wilfred (neighbours dog) - I cant pet you at the moment Sad

Swipe left for the next trending thread