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Original poster

Thread for really fucking ugly houseplants

315 replies

ScribblyGum · 06/03/2020 17:51

That you wish would just die naturally, but because they just won’t you are burdened by guilt with prolonging their pitiful heinous existence.

Here is my entry, a 14 month old poinsettia. Just look at the state of it, ugly Christmas 2019 bastard.
Can I bin it? No I cannot. Have I taken it outside to die by cold twice and then brought it back in again? Yes, yes I have.

JUST DIE WILL YOU.

Show me your horrid plants.

Thread for really fucking ugly houseplants
OP posts:
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88
Knowhowufeel2 · 05/04/2020 00:34

My DS is amazing with plants, she's like the Dr Dolittle of them. Everyone gives her their dying, barren plants and within a season of being with her they're flourishing and growing at speed. 🤬

On the other hand, I've never had one last long enough to take a photo 😔
My last foray into hopelessness house plants was a venus fly trap and I was doing really well with it (for me).

I was so determined that it would be a success as my last one wasn't, that I spent an hour every day making sure it had food (catching flies/ants for it) 🙄☺ I was so proud of myself, and you know what they say about pride...... because then my dog ate it, every single last bit of it.
I had tears in my eyes when I had to throw it away, and I made a promise to all plants to stay away from them from then on.

PerkingFaintly · 05/04/2020 00:34

Are you new here, Wauden?Grin

Wauden · 05/04/2020 00:18

Shock Someone above at MNHQ said 'fucking ugly'! Its like a teacher swearing in class! Shock

Mother87 · 04/04/2020 23:49

I've got THREE, and for some reason I decided to put them together and they're hanging on/look quite unpleasant but I can't bring myself to chuck em

EngagedAgain · 04/04/2020 23:47

Nrtft so don't know if anyone has mentioned a house plant called mother in law's tongue. Hideous looking things imo.

Mypathtriedtokillme · 04/04/2020 23:36

I had to put my houseplants outside when my oldest decided while toilet training that she liked shitting like a worm and took to crapping in my houseplants. (I’m not going to pretend I understand how that kids mind works)

Some of them were so tough and are happily living out in extreme heat, lack of water and cold I now feel sorry enough that I’m bringing them back inside. (DD1 is 6 so past the stage!)

Janeyjane69 · 04/04/2020 20:27

I was given an orchid a couple of years ago and despite the fact it has never been potted on and there are many greeny white tendrils sprouting everywhere like some horrible alien from a horror B movie it continues to flower! Not sure how!

nyu82 · 04/04/2020 19:19

This manky everlasting waste of space that dies then resurrects itself...
Peace Lily ??? I'd love to blow it to smithereens....

Thread for really fucking ugly houseplants
erniepigy · 04/04/2020 18:25

Aah it was your Nan’s . Cut all the brown dead stems off and re pot with new soil and a bigger pot

Whyhaveidonethis · 04/04/2020 17:35

My other half is renting a holiday home (we are stuck here due to lockdown). Look at this monstroaity

Thread for really fucking ugly houseplants
woodencoffeetable · 17/03/2020 09:00

hmm is it on netflix?
that's a fun movie to watch

Beachcomber · 17/03/2020 06:54

Oh might have got it!

Little Shop of Horrors?

Beachcomber · 17/03/2020 06:52

Not sure what you mean mathanxiety...

BTW not showing off with massive plant. I could show you pictures of lots of really ugly and pathetic aloe veras too Grin

BrightYellowDaffodil · 16/03/2020 08:28

@PerkingFaintly Grin

mathanxiety · 15/03/2020 22:31

Beachcomber do you have anyone on your family named Seymour?

lborgia · 15/03/2020 21:08

@woodencoffeetable - we had a tree like that. 10 years of a few hopeful exciting leaves, and then wompf- all fell off. I think in the end I just closed my eyes and threw it in the bin. Blush

lborgia · 15/03/2020 21:06

@ScribblyGum - eek, the pressure!

In other plant related items, do you have any scribbly gums? We have paperbarks, and bog standard, and I’m just watching the soapy water run down them, it’s pouring here! Love the soap thing!

PerkingFaintly · 15/03/2020 13:19

Perhaps a namechange to BrightGreenFoliage in a few weeks' time, Daffodils? Followed by another to HealthyBrownBulbNoReally just for safety?Grin

BrightYellowDaffodil · 15/03/2020 13:12

@PerkingFaintly

But aren't you just a leetle nervous...

I’ll have you know my foliage is verdant and abundant, thank you very much

PerkingFaintly · 15/03/2020 13:09

In awe at the courage of frostedviolets, HebeMumsnet and BrightYellowDaffodil in venturing onto this thread.

I mean, OBviously you're all perfectly delightful and not fucking ugly AT ALL. But aren't you just a leetle nervous...Shock

woodencoffeetable · 15/03/2020 13:01

adding dc's mandarin 'tree' which dropped almost all leaves over night...

Thread for really fucking ugly houseplants
Original poster
ScribblyGum · 15/03/2020 12:58

@Iborgia I’m following your lead.
This is your live or die moment horrible fugly poinsettia. Your turn.

OP posts:
WhatIfWhatIfWhatIf · 15/03/2020 11:50

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 15/03/2020 11:26

@WhatIfWhatIfWhatIf

You got flowers AND actual strawberries? You’re just showing off now

WhatIfWhatIfWhatIf · 15/03/2020 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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