To ask the grossest thing your pet has done?

Our cat got a funny tummy for the first week or so when she started going outside - assuming she was just eating different things while out and about. One night in her litter tray (well..) she did a horribly, sloppy poo .. but it wasn't really IN the litter tray, it was all over the back of it, and sprayed up the wall.

Of course, it was my luck that I was the only one home, so I had to deal with it.

I have a cat who is completely blind, so sometimes he has no idea when he has a shitty arse after visiting the cat tray The other morning he climbed on me while I was still in bed and sat on my chest. When I looked down I realised he had left a chocolate starfish print on me. Eww.

My cat killed a rabbit and a pigeon, ate half of each and left the other halves on the living room floor as a present for me. Normally I would beg dh to deal with something like that but he was away so I had to do it myself with bin bags, a shovel and a lot of bleach while trying very hard not to puke. My 11 year old thought it was hilarious.

My friends dog ate dental floss - it had to be eased out manually at the other end 🤢

Husband and I were chucking a frisbee for my brown dog and he was bringing it back. Until he stopped and dropped it, hunched and paddled about a bit and did a shit...on the frisbee. The picked it all up and ran towards us. Grim.

The same dog often would have accidents during the night. You could smell the pooh at the top of the stairs in the morning. The floors would have to be washed and bleached even before I made the kids lunches for school. I loved that dog with a passion
but didn't realise how much work she was until she was gone.

My son's cat was lying around his daughter's neck when a large tapeworm came out of its bottom. ;

My poor dog would go for a pooh but it would get stuck!! so I had to pull the pooh out and then wash her poohed covered hair. I can still feel the sensation of trying to pull that hair matted pooh out, sometimes I had to cut it out.😵 oh the smell......

I came home to find red stains on the ceiling and could not work out what they had come from. Then my cat appeared from another room, dead rat in mouth and carried on with her 'game' in front of me: flinging the rat right up onto the ceiling, leaving rat blood there. I can still remember the thudding sound the rat made as it hit the ceiling.
I just stood there, stunned with horror, then managed to get the rat from the cat, so I could dispose of the rat.

Of course it was a summer heat wave and the bin men had been that morning, so the rat would have to decompose in my bin for a week.

I did consider keeping the rat in the fridge until bin day, until I came to my senses in said heat wave and realised it was not such a good idea to keep a rat in the fridge.

Years ago I had just eaten a bowl of vanilla ice cream when my kitten jumped on my lap for a cuddle. A minute or two after he jumped off I looked down and noticed what I thought was a blob of ice cream on my top, swiped it with my finger and was just about to pop it into my mouth when I saw it wriggle - not ice cream at all but a worm from aforementioned kittens arse!! I could still puke just thinking about it!

Caught our puppy happily chomping on cat sick the other day 🤢

Just remembered the very Ddog we had when living in the Middle East.

One day he managed to find a dead turtle on the beach to roll in. Imagine the worst stink of rotten meat and rotten fish combined, and you’d just about have it. Couldn’t put him in the car to go home, he had to run behind, but it was just a dirt track and not far.

He was short haired but the smell clung on for ages even after several baths. In desperation I actually bought some Brut shampoo to wash him in, in the hope of one stink at least masking the other!

I had a beagle that would roll in all the dead things - dead fish, dead birds, dead hedgehogs... He also treated the cat litter tray as a snack bar. My son was once caught short out in the middle of nowhere and did a poo behind a tree. I was just unrolling the poo bags to pick it up - but the beagle had beaten me. Ate it warm. Oh, and the first time I bought my now-husband home we were getting down to some action and the beagle licked a firm stripe up between his arse cheeks. It's the mark of a man, I think, that he's broadly OK with your dog joining in with sex - didn't enjoy it, didn't pick him up and throw him against a wall.... That there is a keeper.

I had a rescue spaniel that was a stray and so compulsively scavenged, which wrecked his digestive system - his poos were never solid, and he had to have this really vile smelly powder sprinkled on his food to help it break down. He had explosive diarrhoea in the dining room on such a grand scale, we had to rip up the carpet. He also ate every single dog shit he could find on a walk. In the end, he had to be muzzled.

My current dog has a tendency to not finish her poos if she's called in mid-crouch, so we often find small nuggets in the house.

Oh I just remembered that when the beagle and my female cat were young and unspayed/neutered, he would follow her around when she was in season, nose inserted in her genitals. She loved it and would present to him for a good nose and a lick. Animal porn. Horror. He was gutted when they'd both been done and she went back to trying to shred him into a million pieces whenever he went near her.

Animals are really grim.

Aren't slowworms protected?

Our old cat (RIP) once crapped in a dd’s knicker drawer. He’d never done such a thing before and never did again, so God knows why. He wasn’t old or decrepit, and had a perfectly good cat flap.

The smell was so appalling, it was quite a while before I felt able to tackle it - and I’m not normally squeamish about poo. I shut the drawer to keep the stink in and phoned a friend for sympathy first!

Ddog (also RIP) when young would sometimes crap in the kitchen overnight - before we started allowing her to come and sleep in our bedroom. I once went down first thing and opened the kitchen door - she’d crapped right behind it, so the opening door spread it like icing on a cake!

At the same time I found that DCat had brought half a mouse in.
Lovely start to the day!

OMG this thread makes me feel better (except the eating small animals part, that makes me sad). Dfluffycat has regular dingleberries, and also gets poo stuck so meows piteously at me and I have to get damp kitchen roll and... help.

Dninjacat is just not very good at reaching the litter tray when her tummy is upset, so I can follow the trail 🤢

Oh I forgot my old dog rolled in a dead fish

The stench!!!!

We lived in a pub at that time and I had to walk through it to go upstairs.

All the customers could smell it and I had to open all the windows upstairs and downstairs to air it out

She was cuffed to bits with her new perfume and couldn’t understand why no one wanted to touch her

Easy

Ripped open a big bag, got into the nappies and ate the contents.

Then went and gave dh a big kiss...who only just smelled shit on her breath after she had already licked him

During dinner brothers dog puked on my bare feet 🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
I stood on a turd as a child. Bare feet. It squelched between my toes....
All these stories are the reason I don't ever want a dog or a cat. Just no ...

My greyhound (who died a couple of years ago) used to steal my DD’s dirty nappies out of the bin and eat the contents. She would then shit frogspawn poos the next day!

My Pomeranian puppies had a trip to the vets the other day for a vaccine. On the car ride home one dog vomited in the carrier. When I got them out of the carrier they were both covered in vomit which stuck to their undercarriages, long fur and paws 🐾. They both absolutely stunk and yes they walked the vomit across the floor! The one that hadn’t vomited proceeded to eat his brothers vomit off the floor!

When potty training my DD I had to watch like a hawk as if I didn’t take the potty away quick enough my dog would eat the contents 🤢

Girl dog licks her arsehole daily. Her mouth smells like shit. She once rolled in a large dead fish that was randomly in the middle of a field we were walking through.

Boy dog once ate a whole rotting dead pidgeon including feathers. He steals socks and vomits or shits them out around the garden. I have to buy new socks for our toddler every couple of weeks due to the dog’s obsession.

My childhood Ddog used to escape out of the house/garden whenever he could. One day my Dbro had a few of the popular kids from school over to the house when our DM was at work. The Ddog came wandering in with something in his mouth. It was a used tampon. I was horrified!

I also had a pet rat who liked to sit in my shoulders, under my hair. One day I saw one of my long hairs near her tail. I pulled it gently in case it was tangled around her leg..... Nope, it was coming from her arse and out popped a turd that the hair was stuck in.

My sister once put on a posh sit down dinner party and invited me and my boyfriend some new people from work she was hoping to impress.
We’re all eating our starters when there’s this god awful stench so strong and so bad it made me feel like gagging.
We realised it was coming from under the table although it permiated through the whole dining room.
There was no pretending this wasn’t happening as it was so awful and so my sister lifted up the table cloth and gave out a little shriek. This made the other guests look too.
Under the table was her Retriever dog with a giant pit-rid bone with was completely heaving with maggots
Bone was removed and dog sent out of the room and we cleaned up the maggots that got behind and cleaned the floor . Eventually dinner was resumed but we’d all lost our appetites .

My cat used to catch maybugs. For those that don’t know they start as chafer grubs living in soil for 3 years eating decaying plant material or plant roots then emerge in may/June for about 6 weeks as huge flying beetles called maybugs. My cat kept bringing them into the house and one time crept right up to my husbands face with one in her mouth whilst he was in bed. Ugh!