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Original poster

To think you can't get past 'the ick' im a relationship?

680 replies

Thickums · 02/01/2020 20:09

LIGHT HEARTED Interested in other posters thoughts on 'the ick'.

For those who don't know, the 'ick' is when someone you are dating just starts to irritate you for no apparent reason.
I dont mean normal annoyances, i mean they start to make your skin crawl and their mannerisms just go through you like a knife.
It can just creep up on you without any warning and they can even tick every box and otherwise be a 10/10 partner but unfortunately even them breathing irritates the life out of you. You try to fight it, but ultimately the irritation can turn to anger and make even the best of people become snappy with rage due to 'the ick'.

Ive experienced this once. Lovely bloke, not a bad bone in his body. After about 2 years for some reason still unknown to me i suddenly got 'the ick'. Watching him eat a pot noodle would make my blood boil.. Literally give me the rage. Everything he did irritated the life out of me.
As he was so lovely i tried my hardest to make things work. Until one day i confessed to a friend who told me about 'the ick' and how once it happens it can never be undone. They will irritate you forever. No one knows the cause of the ick.. But its incurableBlush. So i ended it. Felt nothing but relief.

So am i unreasonable to think 'the ick' is a real thing and once it happens the relationship is doomed?

Has anyone else experienced this? What is the reason behind 'the ick'? Why does it usually seem to happen with people who tick all the boxes?

I can't lie, i sometimes read posts on the relationship boards where the OP will say their partner has suddenly said they want out. Whilst everyone else is shouting 'OW' i think to myself maybe they've just got 'the ick?' Blush

OP posts:
NigesFakeWalkingStick · 02/01/2020 21:38

I've had this a few times and it's a very real thing.

One guy I was dating bit his nails - we'd been on about 4 dates and were supposed to go to a NYE thing together but I remember watching him drive (badly, he bunny hopped the car and made me feel sick) with these fingers that basically had tiny stumps of nails on and I got the proper ick. I went to the evening thing but I couldn't see past it at all.

UsernameThenSomeNumbers · 02/01/2020 21:38

Name changed for this as I’ve told friends this story before.

Met a nice man in a work context. Spent the meeting thinking he was very handsome. When the meeting was over, I was walking him out and making chitchat and asked if he was heading straight back to the office or to another appointment. He said he was going to grab some lunch because he hadn’t had a proper breakfast that morning, but had gone to Costa for a hot chocolate and a cookie.

Immediate ick.

SpeckledDot · 02/01/2020 21:37

Yeah I've got that with someone i took an interest in recently; something's put me off. I think it's the way he reacted to getting a cold, like he was dying or something. It made me feel like he was a mummy's boy somehow. I have no idea how those two things are linked

NewYoiker · 02/01/2020 21:37

@PaperbackBlighter what did he name it?!

ElizabethMountbatten · 02/01/2020 21:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

PlanDeRaccordement · 02/01/2020 21:35

It comes and goes this “ick” or irritation. A relationship is not doomed by it. I get days of it at a time with my DH. It always passes. Either I come to my senses or DH changes an icky habit.

NamechangeoutedbyMIL · 02/01/2020 21:34

There was another thread about this a while back.

Some of my instant icks:

Farted in my kitchen in just his saggy holey boxers

Wore a watch (?)

Had a velcro wallet

Called a ten pound note a ten spot

Kept trying to snog me when I was watching a film

All different men who I had quite liked up until that exact moment then I thought if you so much as breathe near me again I'm going to stab you in your eyeballs

sparklefarts · 02/01/2020 21:33

OP did you post this almost word for word before? Like a few months ago?

NegroniOnIce · 02/01/2020 21:33

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends - sorry, I was needlessly snarky with you! Sorry you've had a bad day Flowers

catinb0oots · 02/01/2020 21:31

Yes I had a brief fling with Richard the estate agent (20 years my senior). Had previously found his bald head sexy and rugged. One day walked in to my bathroom to see him sitting in my bath with the sun glinting off his shiny head.

Sexy and rugged no more. Instant ick.

Poor ole Richard 🤣

thepeopleversuswork · 02/01/2020 21:28

I’ve had this many a time...

Isn’t this really just nature’s way of telling you you never properly fancied them and we’re just settling for a bit?

I’ve found this happens when I’ve been out with Mr So So who will do for a while and when I’ve tried to force something against my instincts. Rarely with someone you really like and are properly sexually compatible with.

thenightsky · 02/01/2020 21:27

One ex definitely got dumped due to sudden 'ick'. He was a kind chap who didn't have a nasty bone in his body, which makes me feel really guilty actually. One morning he came downstairs and just sort of did a waddle/penguin walk towards me for a kiss. Aarrrgh!

BitOfFun · 02/01/2020 21:27

Allideas, it's more more extreme that that though. It's going from attraction to instant repulsion.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 02/01/2020 21:27

In the end, It was the burgundy y-fronts. And how they kind of sagged and were baggy. I knew right then that I couldn't. Just couldn't. No more. Can't even look at pictures of him since, and he is the father of my DD :( Poor, lovely man.

Louise91417 · 02/01/2020 21:26

Really really good looking fella that used to come into work regularly..all the girls i worked with fancied him..im not one to get overly excited about a good looking but this one was a real eyecatcher..nice suit, boyish goodlooks, lovely personality...then he ruined it..came in one day licking a 99"..it looked so wrong..the ick feeling never left meGrin

lavenderlemonade · 02/01/2020 21:26

Was dating a guy once and we were at the cinema and he ordered nachos covered in hot cheese sauce- which I was disgusted with in the first place as it's not a cinema food as far as I'm concerned. As the adverts were playing he was crunching his way through them and I could see grease running down his arm and chin and it was all open mouth munching and I just knew then I would never be seeing him again.

Another guy had a massive booger the whole time we were on a date which is a completely normal human thing but it would suck in and out of his nostril every time he breathed and it really put me off. If I knew him better I would of mentioned it but I was so overcome by the ick I couldn't bring myself to say it.

AllideasAndNoAction · 02/01/2020 21:25

In my day ‘the ick’ was just called going off someone.

QuantamBaby · 02/01/2020 21:22

I've had the Ick - it's definitely a thing!

I was a dating a really nice bloke in the winter and he wore a lot of nice thick jumpers. One day we met in a cafe, he took off his jumper to reveal a big thick gold chain necklace.

I just put my coffee down, left, and never saw him again....

BitOfFun · 02/01/2020 21:21

I got it really badly when I saw the guy sleeping with his mouth open. All of a sudden I could picture him as an old man with his false teeth on the bedstand, so I left before he woke up and stopped returning his calls.

Sundancer77 · 02/01/2020 21:21

Ha ha, wasn’t it Chandler who had similar in Friends? All was fine but then he’d think her head was too big, laugh too annoying etc etc

SanFrancisco49er · 02/01/2020 21:20

There was a really lovely guy at uni who amazingly, actually had a crush on me...tall, dark, handsome and had quite a few girls after him. However I perpetually had the 'ick' as he ate some of my sweetcorn out of the tin with his fingers. It also put me off tinned sweetcorn for life.

ofay · 02/01/2020 21:20

Sorry DickDewy ick is the perfect word.

TimeToChangeNameAgain · 02/01/2020 21:18

My friend refers to it as a sealant as when it happens it makes her vag seal shut 😁

Ronnie27 · 02/01/2020 21:17

Yes it’s absolutely real and used to happen to me for the most ridiculous of reasons. A boyfriend of mine turned up in an ill advised vest when I was about 17 and I remember looking at him sideways in the car and just thinking “no”. And as if by magic I just didn’t fancy him anymore. Worse still it can’t be undone!

Inkdmama · 02/01/2020 21:15

Yeah I had the ick with my ex...I tried my best to ignore it/try and make it work but I couldn't. I started to really dislike everything about him I called the wedding off and left. I can't explain why I felt like that after 2 years..i tried to make it work for another 2 years but I really couldn't bear him near me or even in the same room, even his breathing made me cringe. I slept on the sofa for 2 years, avoided going home and i was miserable..best thing j did was leave. I still can't understand what made me go that way. Even now when I see him in public my skin crawls.