To think you can't get past 'the ick' im a relationship?

The one that made me pull over on the hard shoulder so he could have a piss.
We’d just passed a services
It’s really dangerous
The world is not your toilet
And you’ve now got penis hands all over my beloved car.

It was, as others say, a switch. It was like he even looked different.

Dh does a lot of things that should give me the ick, but doesn’t. It’s weird

I hear you....trying to be sexy and failing miserably....

OMG....what do you do if you get the ick after thirty years of marriage? As in, everything he does/doesn’t do is sooo icky!

He also had (has, he's not dead) very short legs, completely out of proportion with his torso (he's not tall anyway, but VERY short legs)

Christ, I'm convinced we have the same ex!(and the 'he's not dead' is an effort to temp fate). He's not also an abusive liar/child abandoner is he? Ahhhhh happy memories 😄

First time having sex with my then partner without a condom, he whispered "That's me that" I'm cringing now

@msflibble do you want his number 😂?!

I've never been able to get over the ick... nope.

I left my 1st husband for this exact reason, although in my defense I had SERIOUS ongoing provocation but once it kicked in, that was it. Done deal.

One of my exes said to me he'd "love to rip my panties off"
Yeah 'panties' is awful. Some of these are hilarious. I've had the ick from blokes 'talking dirty' to me 🤢, being a very unexpected bottom spanker during sex, making a very strange squealy noise during orgasm and being fucking dreadful at cunnilingus (flicking my clit so hard I kept flinching, which he mistook for me enjoying it) and me being too bloody polite to tell him. The ex who had very feminine and hairless legs, dirty stains on his front teeth, wore baggy y fronts and who (in the last months of our relationship) took to sleeping on the sofa in his clothes. The clothes he'd put on clean on Monday morning, wear to work every day of the week and also sleep in. There really was no coming back from that.

Yes! Me and my ex split, we decided to meet up about a month later to give it another go. I have no idea what happened but one second I was so happy to be getting back together and the next I just thought eugh you round bellied wanker and that was it, the longing for him was gone and I feel icky when I bump into him now.

God this is bringing up so many icky memories.
He called his computer his "pooter"
He called cold viruses "lurgies"
He would say "mm mmm MMMMMM" when something was tasty
He'd tell me how wet I was when we were having sex
He called me "lover"
He had weird black hairs on his back
He was a big mama's boy (eg would drive to his mum's and leave me alone if he had a bad cough)
Every time someone mentioned popular 90s girl group Atomic Kitten he'd proudly say "nuclear pussy!" as if it was the cleverest joke in the world
I'd better stop before I out myself here actually

One guy

• had "claw feet", ok I could maybe cope with that, but then... *said he had "an upset bottom", when he had diarrhoea. Also, kissed me when I was talking to him as if he wasn't listening to what I was saying, that infuriated me!

Another guy

• cried on the first date because his last girlfriend used to sleep with her back to him
• said girlfriend also told him his breath smelled, he then asked me if I thought it smelled and breathed in my face

@nzginge86

Against my better judgement I've got a bit of a thing for men wearing thin gold chains, I just find it really sexy and I have no idea why.

Yep once the ick sets in there's no going back.
My first bf gave me the ick from the get-go though. I was 19 and on the rebound from the one that got away and ended up with him for 2 years. My skin still crawls when I think of him.

@QuantamBaby This.

I just went on my first date after coming out of a 6 year relationship. The date was going great, guy was lovely. About an hour in his shirt moved slightly and I could suddenly see a thick gold chain around his neck. ICK CITY. I couldn't get past it! Worse so because the friend who had set me up told me he wore it to "make an effort" for the date. No no no.

I went out with a bloke many years ago, and I got the 'ick' when he told me he had a genuine fear of ghosts. I finished with him a few weeks later. Plus his laugh was really irritating.

From most of these it does seem like the ick comes from behaviour that feels like it's childish or unmanly. Not manly in a he-man kind of way, but the grown-up, self-possessed kind of attitude that we seem to want in a man (I know I do) - even if he can be funny/silly, you want to feel like there's an adult there. Babyish clothes, language, head shape etc :o , yoghurt digging, or seeming to act out romance in a cliched way instead of actually being himself - ick.

Thank you! I now feel normal! I suffer from the ick....or as I refer to it "the boak" I feel this frequently.

One of my exes said to me he'd "love to rip my panties off" I instantly dried up and had to leave immediately. Panties....one of the worst words out there!

One ex, we'd got on really well, really thought he was the one, then he sat down at the table and said "ooh, steak. Yummy". It was like a switch.

A second. I was so into him, it was a slow build up and I'd gone to stay at his for the weekend. He met me off the train and we went out to his car, never even offered to carry either my overnight case, or the bag with beer in it. I was off all weekend and dumped him when I left.

My ex husband would do this thing if he was drinking a pint - he'd open his mouth wide and fill it with beer as if he was going to neck the pint quickly, then most of what went into his mouth would go back in the glass. Grim. He also had (has, he's not dead) very short legs, completely out of proportion with his torso (he's not tall anyway, but VERY short legs). He looked so bloody weird if he had them up on the sofa. Big ick. I really don't know what I was thinking. No redeeming factors that one I'm afraid

I think if you get the ick, they're just not the one. If you can live with someone who regularly leaves skids in the toilet, who has a hairy back, who thinks a Dutch oven is hilarious and has paraded around the bedroom with his 'tail between his legs' (look, I've got a mangina) and you still don't get the ick - it's true love 😂

I agree, this should go in Classics. So amusing and also fascinating. Just what is 'the ick' about? I wonder whether it's a case of looking at it from the other angle... Let's imagine that out of 100 men, only a handful - let's say 5 - come across as potential partner material. That must be because 95 of them immediately and very obviously give us the ick, and we can probably verbalise why. But of the 5 that remain, for some reason, that 'ick' is concealed to us, only for it to emerge later. Maybe an interesting question is why the ick was not apparent for so long.

I do believe hormones have a lot to answer for - ovulation rendering people far more appealing temporarily, for example. Interestingly, isn't there a theory that from an evolutionary perspective we are happy for the genes of one man, but then may actively seek out another sort of mate to actually hang around, protect and provide for us whilst the original guy is off impregnating other women? I can see why the way some men do evoke a 'little boy' naivety is very offputting for evolutionary reasons. . Would be unreliable when the tiger appeared, calling for his own mother - or 'mudder'.

This thread should be moved to classics. Brilliant. I'm so relived that it is not just me. I thought I was just a horrible person

@JosephineDeBeauharnais I couldn’t have coped with that.

I can't pin point when it happened but remember he'd always find me starting at him. He'd ask what and id say nothing but really I was looking at him thinking how have I ended up stuck with him. His flat feet repulsed me and I couldn't stand the way he breathed.

Been at my fitness class this morning- gorgeous looking instructor, very popular with the ladies. At the end he said "that's it for today guys - BOOM!" Having followed this thread, I almost had to leave the room...