Do we have a MN Christmas threads full house yet?

*KatherineJaneway doesn't really matter, but HOW many sprouts should there be?

Any more than half a sprout each would add to the obesity crisis

@francienolan I'm going to panic now if you think I call it the big day, there's a reason I put it in quotation marks. The big day to me is Christmas eveeeeee I'm unbelievably childish about the run up to Christmas because it's a very important day.

I haven't seen many church-related threads (perhaps because a frequent MN thing is "I don't want my child indoctrinated into believing in a fairy tale"), but here are some church MN froths that could happen:

AIBU about those dangerous Christingle candles?? My DDs ponytail was in danger from the boy walking behind her, or she could poke her eye on one of those cocktail sticks. Did they do a risk assessment? They should have used LED candles.

We didn't sing O Come All Ye Faithful on Christmas morning. Christmas has been ruined!

My DS is devastated because he wasn't chosen to put an animal in the crib.

The organist was wearing a Christmas jumper during Advent; and not only that, it was a Santa Claus one. Has he no shame?! Christmas is about the birth of Christ, not a fictional character in red! He also played "Jingle Bells" just after the Christingle service.

Midnight Mass didn't start at midnight; it was a few minutes late, delaying my kids' bedtime even more. (In real life in about 1993, when watches which bleeped on the hour were fashionable, this delay was conspicuous by a chorus of watches bleeping in the silence beforehand.)

Should I make the children wait until after church on Christmas Day before they open their presents? Is this unkind if the other children at church ask them what they got?

the BIG day'

This phrase too. The only day I've referred to as the big day was my wedding day. It makes me cackle when I see it about Christmas.

Crying in Tescos dearie me....they must have mental health problems or dementia depending on their age.

I so want to start smug "How are you enjoying your last minute stress. I've been done for ages😁" after newspapers nearby went with "People crying in Tesco" type of headlines yesterday😂

They always go to events too. Weird people.

The event usually being one connected to the oh-so-outing hobby that their DH has. I can now reveal that said hobby is actually Morris Dancing.

Oh dear,I've just seen an 'if you're hosting how much do you spend thread'. One reply said to budget £75 a head for non drinkers and £100 for drinkers.

Sorry but I must be an utterly miserly shit because there's no way I'm spending close to £1000 on food and drink for one fucking day!

I think this must make house somewhere on a Christmas bingo sheet

They always go to events too. Weird people.

*Given how many people a MN chicken can feed for months, what do we reckon we can stretch a MN turkey too grin

Assuming of course it was fetched by hand and wasn’t delivered as the door may not be answered*

I hope it was ethically sourced!

Note: People on MN never just buy things. They source them.

Given how many people a MN chicken can feed for months, what do we reckon we can stretch a MN turkey too

Assuming of course it was fetched by hand and wasn’t delivered as the door may not be answered.

Just saw a new one (to me atleast)

'is it okay to let dh and kids go to PILs alone on Christmas day, so I can clean the carpets?'

FFS 🎄

Watch this space for the guest who arrives on xmas day and announces she/he is now a vegetarian thread.

The one on Christmas Eve where all the villagers in some quaint Sussex village gather for a nativity and a safari dinner. The sheep have fairy lights and everyone cooks a hearty meal of Cumberland sauce and a star shaped pavlova.

GOD BLESS US, EVERYONE.

OMG, I ordered everything we are going to eat for Christmas dinner for 40 people to be delivered at 9pm on Christmas Eve and they didn't get here till 1am and half the stuff was missing or substituted! We live 50 miles from the nearest shop. It never occurred to me this might happen. WIBU?

This is absolute GOLD.

I am LOVIiNG this thread, haven't laughed so much in ages. 💕💕

I am speechless feckin speechless I tell you after an unannounced visit from MIL (who else) the old biddy had the audacity to knock on my door with presents

Liar. No one on MN opens the door. Don't you know

How about:

I have got so much to do, I am so stressed. I need to clean out all the cupboards and hoover the skirting boards, change the sheets, stock up with food for next week, do 10 hours wrapping and host a lunch. My life is so hard.

Now look I'm not known for it but today I am speechless feckin speechless I tell you after an unannounced visit from MIL (who else) the old biddy had the audacity to knock on my door with presents for Hermione and Chester (drawers), thing is this has made me so sad and actually ruined my Christmas because she said she had only spent £5000 on Chessy and a paltry £4945 on Hermione !!!! So I put on my big girls knickers and threw the witch out
AIBU to think she could have spent at least £10,000 on each child? I may actually LTB over his stingy old bat of a Mother so will update this thread in the New Year
Merry Xmas

I love this thread so much. It definitely has a place in Classics.

There's usually the thread about the awful gift from MIL:

MIL bought me a 3-pack of size 22 granny knickers from Aldi. I'm a size 6 and usually have to keep my own tiny thongs attached with the help of duct tape. Even worse, these parachute-sized monstrosities are a lurid shade of green with orange roses on them. I suspect they've been re-gifted as one pair has a suspicious stain on the gusset. AIBU to sit in my room and weep until MIL has gone?

Enviromentalist brigade: You ungrateful wretch! Don't you know that starving children slaved away over those garments? And now they're destined to become landfill! Weave a belt from naturally sourced fibres and keep them on with that.

Sympathetic MNers: Jump out of the spare room's window and use your new knickers to para-glide to freedom. Leave DH to deal with MIL!

The permanently offended: How DARE you use the word "gusset" without posting a trigger warning??! Don't you know how much I despise that word??

[thread derails into a discussion about whether "gusset" or "moist" is the worst word an OP could use, and that at least this OP didn't use both of those words together.]

Drowning in the sherry brigade: You cow! Don't you know how lucky you are to even have a MIL? Mine is dead, you evil ingrate!

The new environmentalists: Harrumph! Well at least she didn't buy you any plastic tat.

Everyone else: You poor bugger. Open a bottle of something nice, get yourself on to e-bay, and order something truly hideous for her for next year.

[thread ends with several links to amusing taxidermy fails and anything covered in glitter that looks as though it may have been made by a 4yr-old mid-fever]

The how dare somebody buy my child more than one gift or something bigger than a postage stamp.

Or the audacity of someone asking what gift they would like so as not to waste money on something unwanted.

Ha! I thought of the same things. I've been on MN for a couple of years I think and on the evening of the 25th and morning of 26th the AIBU is always filled with the same theme.

Also insert 'I'm crying my eyes out in the spare room' for a very minor problem. Sometimes I wonder how people go through life.