Your most batshit parenting moments?

Wasn't a small baby one, but once when I'd stopped at my house with my mum and DS was asleep in the back, I'd unloaded some stuff from the car, then couldn't see DS in car and my heart missed it a beat and I ran back to my mum saying 'I CAN'T SEE DS, HE'S NOT IN THE CAR!!!'

I was looking in the wrong car.

My DS was born 3 1/2 lb so was very tiny and used to draw a lot of attention when we went out because well, I guess teeny tiny babies are quite rare and seem cute. Obviously in my new mum brain this meant that EVERYONE wanted to steal him....

We had a pram (rather than a buggy) so didn't have any fastening straps and I used to go everywhere pushing the pram with one hand and one hip while the other hand rested on top of DS so that nobody could steal my baby because obviously that's what everyone who ever saw him wanted to do...

Also, DS, like me tans at the drop of a hat, it only had to be sunny outside for an hour for him to tan having sat inside all day. I always put sun protection on him even when cloudy and can remember repeatedly asking the Health Visitor if he was "too brown" I really hope she didn't think I was some sort of crazed white supremacist!

@dontlickthelamp that is a valid concern DS and I were on a bus with hit a bridge once and DS got a head injury from flying debris. So not batshit.

@Sparklingbrook @feelinghelplesstoday I saved the teeth too. When I te found them I briefly marvelled at home tiny they were before being grossed out.

@Hoppinggreen I LOVE your clothing layers logic. Haha exactly the sort of thing I would have done I think.

@JenniferM1989 I love your car seat testing. Because it's excellent new mum logic. These things have been through advanced testing in labs with expensive equipment but how can WE know that they're definitely ok if we don't test them ourselves? Haha.

Just started weaning my pfb DD. I had all the little frozen pots of homemade purée and all the rest of it.

It was January and blowing a gale. We were half way up a fell when it was 6 mth old DDs lunchtime. I insisted that we halt mid slope, DH had to get his whisperlite stove out and warm water so that her puréed sweet potato would not be cold. Then I proceeded to allow her to spoon it in herself (because that was the Right Thing), with the force 7 flailing around us.

Needless to say she probably got one mouthful in. The rest went all over her top spec Patagonia baby duck down snow suit!

What was I like! Alas poor second born DS never got any of these ministrations from me ....

I was also VERY strict and militant with his routine (again, Jo Frost!).

MIL to this day jokes about it but I stand by it because it worked - we could plan pretty much anything and everything around "the routine" and he slept through from around 8/10 weeks!

(I realise reading this back that I was "that parent" who could only do things that fitted around baby's routine )

Sitting DS on the end of my knee and feeding him his bottle at arms length so that he didn't confuse "feeding time" with "cuddling time".

Jo Frost has a lot to answer for, although I will admit, it did kind of work!

When mil occasionally babysat, I used to write out dc1's routine with hour by hour, minute by minute instructions

I did this to my own mum Who has successfully raised two children of her own, and babysat countless others without incident.

She was very polite about it!

I made DH move us to the (completely full of junk) cellar one day when DD was a couple of weeks old as the Gro Egg was bright red and I was convinced DD would overheat
He had to move everything out, clean it up, bring the cot down the very tiny steep stairs and we slept on the floor next to her for the next week until the temperature fell!

@singingmyownspecialsong I once woke up and thought the blanket was covering my sons face so hysterically threw it across the room.. Turns out I put him in his cot facing the other way with his feet by me not his head..

@Hoppinggreen this reminds me of the time I went out with my toddler (yes toddler not newborn) and realised I didn't bring his gloves. So I didn't wear my gloves either. Only to be fair 😂

Another one due to sleep deprivation... I woke up and thought my hand was my baby. I tried to pick up my hand and put it in the cot. Did not realise until I was holding my hand in the air thinking this feels strange.

And a sleep routine one... Baby was napping at bedtime. So I took them to bed and waited until they woke up (just sat staring) and then carried out the bedtime routine...

I love this thread it's really made me laugh and feel at ease knowing I'm not the only one to have done and still doing some crazy stuff

There are so many the one time my DH had DS and brought him up and placed him in Moses basket I woke in sheer panic thinking I'd fallen asleep clutching onto my DS and killed him turned out it was my pillow and DH calmly telling me DS was safe in his Moses basket yea sleep deprivation as a first time parent not nice at all

Keeping a diary also of how much milk DS had a day wet and dirty nappies 🤦🏻‍♀️ crazy

If we had to walk past anyone smoking I would breathe faster as if I'd inhale all the bad smoke so my DS wouldn't be affect by it

First time DD slept through - 8 weeks old - (didn't happen again for a loooooooooong loooooong looooong time) woke DH to tell him.

At 6AM.

My first dc I bought one of those annabel karmel weaning books. I made every single thing that touched her lips myself from organic ingredients - she dined on things made with homemade stock, fancy bits of fish , organic fruit and veg.

For background I was 21 years old, living in a student flat (I graduated 4 weeks before dc was born) and our only source of income at the time was my DHs call centre job!. I was insane about “being a good mum” probable because everyone around me thought o wouldn’t be.

Dh and I had our 6th child 4 years ago and she was weaned on “mashed up whatever everyone else was eating”.

patted

Waking up in the night and being so sleep deprived I couldn't decide if the person next to me in bed was DH or newborn DD. I parted them a few times, but couldn't judge from the size of them... In the end I stroked their chin. It was stubbly. .

Then I had to 'find' DD (safely asleep in the crib).

slippyfeet - Thank you for your post... just yesterday I noticed that my 3 week old twins developed spots on their face after a feed. While I didn't go as far as making n emergency GP appointment, I did jump to the conclusion that it could be the first symptom of CMPA or lactose intolerance and have been keeping close eye. I'd never heard of milk spots - but having now looked it up, that's clearly what it is, so thank you!

(Reading this, you might assume these are my first babies. They're not )

@CoodleMoodle you sound just like me!! “You nap between 12 and half one!! Why are you still awake at half 12!!”

No naps now - totally awesome.

DD had a very very strict nap schedule. In my defence, if it wasn't adhered to she was a nightmare and her night sleep would be worse, and it was me who dealed with it... but I was so het up about it. I thought it would get better when she only had one nap, but it didn't! She had to be in her cot at 11:20am, not 11:21. I left the room at 11:25, and she was supposed to be asleep by 11:30. If she was still awake at 11:32 I'd get really upset. It was the same for the bedtime routine, if I'm honest. She's 5 now and still likes her routine!

I was determined not to be like that with DS(16 months), and for the most part I'm not. But I do still like to get him in his cot "on time", and I feel the same anxiety rising when we're a bit late. Again, in my defence, it does take him a lot longer to fall asleep if he's late to bed/nap, but I no longer start wringing my hands when we get to 11:33!

I didn't have PND with either of them, and I wasn't particularly precious about anything... except for naps! They were both horrendous sleepers as babies (esp DD) and I think it made me feel like I was in control of it, in some way.

Sucking snot out of DD’s nose with my mouth when she had a really bad cold as a newborn. She cried a lot anyway, then she couldn’t feed as she couldn’t breathe and cried even more. I did what I had to do to 😬

(Since I’ve seen you can buy something called sterimar - doh!)

I used an app to record wet/ dirty nappies, feeds (with different bits for breast milk and formula) and naps until ds was about 5 months old and my friend burst out laughing and made me send a screenshot to another friend.

I still (ds 17 months) have a sick baby app for when ds is unwell and I record his temperatures and medication given.

I made dh walk different sides of the pram depending on the sun in order to keep ds in the shade before we have a sun shade.

I still use a gro egg.

Ds has his own towel and I dont like using one DH or I have used.

I will accept and eat a bit of whatever chewed up, slimy and warm piece of foods ds offers me because I've read it's a way that toddlers show they love you.

@ColdTattyWaitingForSummer I know, I really don’t deserve her!

Demanded a referral to ophthalmology for tiny toddler DS because I was absolutely certain that he was red-green colourblind, or possibly completely colourblind. My evidence for this was that he was pointing at all sorts of different coloured toys and saying 'reen!' so I thought he was seeing them all as green. Ophthalmology very kindly sent us away until he was old enough for their tests, and a few days later he marched over to a photo of himself, pointed at it and said 'Reen! Reen!' with a distinct tone of exasperation. Turns out that he was trying to say his own name when he pointed at his toys - not 'green car' but 'Rhidian's car'

I was just generally highly strung. I used an app to record all naps, feeds and nappies for far longer than needed. It was actually quite handy when dc2 came along to remember when dc1 dropped a nap etc.
Also useful for recording weight and jabs, so I still keep it and use v occasionally - not for making a note of every time they eat all/ most/some/none of their "steamed veggies" though!

When dd was born, our first buggy outing happened to be a shopping centre. Part of me was astonished strangers weren't coming over to ooh and ahh over her. I just didn't understand how they weren't falling over themselves in amazement at her amazingness. They were all walking by!

Can this thread be moved to classics?