Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

510 replies

NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:25

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

OP posts:
LucyEllensmummy · 08/01/2009 23:15

I was just thinking, you could probably get your hubby an appearance on Eurotrash - i do miss that, Sexetera is a poor substitute.

LucyEllensmummy · 08/01/2009 23:14

This thread was the first "troll" i was aware of reading - i have probably been sucked in by loads without realising. Yes, very funny and needs to be kept up.

kormaisforlifenotjustchristmas · 08/01/2009 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarlightMcKenzie · 08/01/2009 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

eternalstudent · 18/01/2008 20:13

Late post. Hope all is now well NewSchmoo. You guys are funny fuckers. I am a recent MN convert and am working my way through the 'classic' sections. Very relieved to find people like me..... I was a member of babycentre, but all they seem to do is sigh and stroke - no drunken slatternly behaviour.

FioFio · 21/08/2007 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ShinyHappySchmooo · 20/08/2007 21:59

No fear of that Fio In reality I don't give a monkey's what DH does with the contents of the kitchen as long as the lovely meals keep arriving! I am the original male chauvinist in female form

FioFio · 20/08/2007 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FioFio · 20/08/2007 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

flamingtoaster · 20/08/2007 20:06

I read part of this last night and have just finished reading it. I was almost hysterical reading it last night (family thought I had finally cracked) - thanks for a really, really good laugh!

onlyjoking9329 · 20/08/2007 18:23

just had to bump this for anyone that missed it last night.

emj23 · 20/08/2007 15:00

This is fantastic. I really did try to feel shocked and sympathetic but was too busy crying with laughter.

Whizzz · 20/08/2007 13:37

LOL not sure how I missed all this but its had me spluttering all over the keyboard. Fanstastic !!

elasticbandstand · 20/08/2007 13:17

this was at 200 odd threads and 10 m inutes later about 400 threads last night! but couldnt look at the time. glad i made the effort today.
funny
funny
funny

katylui1 · 20/08/2007 12:36

You Are A Genius!

This was hilarious, I haven't laughed so much in ages.

Congratulations, this was my 1st wind up - anxiously awaiting my next!!

Slouchy · 20/08/2007 12:04

Thank you shiny.
My face and my side muscles are SORE this morning from laughing so hard. At whole thread but esp at the Blue marigolds (WTF) and specialmagiclady's funny feeling weewee.

Fab.

specialmagiclady · 20/08/2007 11:59

Well I for one was partly taken in (could you tell??) and just thought I was totally evil for laughing at someone's real marital difficulties.

Glads I'm not as evil as I thought, and still a little naive (as in s-i-t-eye episode)...

MrsWeasley · 20/08/2007 11:39

ROFL but I'm buying plastic from now on. (mental images and all that)LOL

Habbibu · 20/08/2007 11:36

My eyes hurt.... My husband just came running down the stairs thinking I was crying my eyes out. Which I was. This is going to have me laughing for weeks.

Theclosetpagan · 20/08/2007 11:11

Fabulous - knew it was a wind up and it was sooooo funny. Just what I needed after yesterday.

pipsqueeke · 20/08/2007 08:18

LMAO fantastic best laugh DH and I have had in a while! lol. (can't tell you some of his comments but I think it's the most we've spoken to each other as well on a night in ages! lol)

onlyjoking9329 · 20/08/2007 05:27

if you could do one EVERY evening that would be fab

TotalChaos · 20/08/2007 00:07

rofl. the pot pourri and soft lighting was a lovely touch (but dead giveaway as to a wind-up!)

pinkteddy · 20/08/2007 00:04

PMSL. Just read thread all through. Thanks all Only one problem, am wide awake now!

ShinyHappySchmooo · 20/08/2007 00:02

OJ good but wish I could do more than that for you! xx

Swipe left for the next trending thread