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Original poster

DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

510 replies

NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:25

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 20:16

Message withdrawn

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:16

I am sorry you find it funny Jeremy. I will try to be supportive when you post on here all distraught because you have found your husband f-cking inanimate objects and crooning at them in a foreign language. But perhaps you will just laugh.

OP posts:
katylui1 · 19/08/2007 20:15

Oh come on...am wondering now.

Everything is normal, its just been a secret and that would be the problem for me. Go and talk to him. Tell him you'll accept whatever he tells you and you are grown up enough to talk about it, but he has to tell you as secrets have no place in your marriage. He is going to have to feel a little embaressed to save you feeling incredibly hurt. As his wife, you are worth that.

JeremyVile · 19/08/2007 20:14

"How can I complete with a kitchen set? It's just ridiculous. He doesnt even like cooking"

"I don't want to see the kitchen ware. I can't face it."

"I have not seen him with an erection that big in years"

ROFL!!

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:12

Sorry, was dealing with my cat who was terorising next doors dog. Notice DH didn't come out and deal with it.

He was murmuring in what sounded like french. And then it just became mmmm mmmmm and groans. I was too embarassed to mention it before but you all think I'm a prude. What about this then. He was wearing blue marigolds. I don't know where he got them from. Now tell me that's normal.

OP posts:
Slouchy · 19/08/2007 19:59

The pans he was using - they weren't the ones you cooked hamster soup in were they?

Slouchy · 19/08/2007 19:58

He was 'syaing stuff' to the contents of your knife drawer? The mind boggles.

I think this is all fairly plausible except for the mood-setting - candles, soft lights etc. How many blokes need this sort of ambience to gett hem in the mood?

(Although, blokes that fancy pots and pans must be quite rare too)

pipsqueeke · 19/08/2007 19:56

what was he saying? if you don't/didn't like ti you must tell him.

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:54

But he was saying stuff. I didn't like it

OP posts:
katylui1 · 19/08/2007 19:54

Could you 'fess up to a secret fantasy? This could well but the start of something?..

If you really can't stand it, ask him to come to you whenever he feels the urge. An ex of mine used to love going to strippers and I would go with him, but he wanted to go more and more so I asked him to stop for a while and put the effort into me - and I always reciprocated (there could be no headaches!) It was bloody brilliant! But very tiring!

pipsqueeke · 19/08/2007 19:53

not repressed - he jsut likes the unusual stuff.

agree with saying 'we need to talk about this' and also you should ahve a 2nd set for him - i'm sorry to say but I wouldn't cook on anything which had been around said parts no matter how much they'd been cleaned/washed/bleached etc.

beansprout · 19/08/2007 19:52

It's just something that turns him on, not a crime. You sound like the repressed one, tbh. He still fancies you, he just likes this as well!

alucard · 19/08/2007 19:52

pls don't be jealous of a knife sharpener. People have all sorts of fettishs and he was probably too embarrased to share this with you. YANBU to be miffed that he doesn't make that sort of effort with you though.

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:52

My parental control blocked that I'm afraid. Thank God actually. Although I do appreciate the help.

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 19:51

Message withdrawn

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:50

Wouldn't YOU be shocked CountessDracula if you came upon your husband making love to the contents of your kitchen????? In YOUR bed? With soft lighting and sweet smells. And a big stonking hard on?

I must be very repressed is all I can think

OP posts:
Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:48

Well I thought our love life was ok. But clearly I am not what turns him on. I am warm and human not cold and metallic.

I have not seen him with an erection that big in years

OP posts:
katylui1 · 19/08/2007 19:48

Remember, you're shocked, but he must be mortified - he has probably dreaded this moment for ages...

Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 19:48

Message withdrawn

ELR · 19/08/2007 19:47

just ask him why and how long he is obviously gonna be super embarrassed, try and make a little joke of it and try not to think of cooking with them. Good luck

CountessDracula · 19/08/2007 19:47

Why are you shocked exactly

is it that he likes stainless steel and finds it arousing

or that he makes an effort for it and not for you?

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 19:47

OH god...this will be OK. Maybe you could suggest buying a bedroom set...I am concerned about hygiene. You have to talk to him. This is OK, there are a lot of worse things you could have found...

beansprout · 19/08/2007 19:47

It's not the saucepan per se, it's probably because it's cold, because he likes the "threat" of the knife, could be all sorts of things. But you won't know if you just stay disgusted.

How about, "can we talk about this?" as an opening line?(!)

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:46

He did have a cheese grater there And a milk pan. And the whole knife block. Even a garlic press. Its all coming back to me in horrid flashbacks

OP posts:
Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:46

But I am shocked. And I don't want to share me bed with pans and stuff even though I loved it all when I bought it from Lakeland last year.

OP posts: