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Original poster

DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

510 replies

NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:25

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

OP posts:
weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 20:52

ROFL! Martha!!!

Speccy · 19/08/2007 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theclosetpagan · 19/08/2007 20:51

Please, please tell me this is a wind up - haven't laughed this much all day. Would hate to think that my mirth was over a genuine plea for help.

marthamoo · 19/08/2007 20:51

Go and talk to him dressed like this Might make the gro-bag incident seem tame.

specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 20:50

So once as a young gal, I went to a party and got a bit drunk and was persuaded by a chap to ..er.. pleasure him orally. My first time - ah, so romantic. In the room where the buffet was set out.

Says I, "oh alright, but you're not coming in my mouth".

[Like Dickens, I'm publishing in episode form]

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 20:49

I'm getting ring round my bum sitting on this colander waiting for Special's spunk story.

Cappuccino · 19/08/2007 20:47

we are taking the piss because of the unnecessary extra details

it is not because we do not know what to say

she is making it too easy

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:47

Oh right Norma stanley.. rooting for me, I take it THAT'S a reference to grow bags to. Glad to amuse

it was actually a very romantic occasion. The grow bags where just the softest surface in the garage. We didn't have the office built on then mores the pity as this has a sofa bed in it.

OP posts:
irishbird · 19/08/2007 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NormaStanleyFletcher · 19/08/2007 20:46

Just make sure that it is ^milk" in the tea...

specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 20:46

GO AND TALK TO HIM!

And while you do, I shall amuse the masses with my Spunky tales....

are you all sitting comfortably?

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 20:46

Take the nut crackers in with you.

mummymagic · 19/08/2007 20:46

Go and talk.
Gosh, if this is true, you will turn it into a BRilliant story! Maybe you should write a book.

KaySamuels · 19/08/2007 20:46

Newschmoo, please don't let people finding this humorous get to you, you are in the midst of it and feel like your world has been turned upside down, whereas to us it is a shocking, don't know what to say situation.

Talk to your dh and see what he has to say.

TheLadyEvenstar · 19/08/2007 20:46

Well I had to read this thread...but strange to find it on behaviour/development...although it appears he has developed a fetsih and this is strange behaviour. If this is genuine then what the hell go and join in the fun take the rolling pin with you ....or maybe you could try the garlic press on your nipples ...

if it is not genuine then thanks for the biggest laugh i have had in ages....although I am not sure laughing so hard is good so late on in pregnancy.....

Can see it now you both in marigolds his blue, yours yellow, knife sharpner in his hand and garlic press in yours.......can't quite figure out what the milk pan was for but hey if you thought you disturbed him mid aim then i am sure you can find somewhere else for him to aim at...

ok must go and calm down now.....

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:45

Obivous what Cappuncino??

OP posts:
NormaStanleyFletcher · 19/08/2007 20:45

Oh please do tell us what he has replied - we are all here rooting for you...

Speccy · 19/08/2007 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:44

He said that he's sorry. That it started with just the milk pan when he wanted to wank and it was the nearest thing one day to catch it in (he wanked in MY kitcen?? My Moby kitchen ) but then he realised he liked looking at the stainless steel and then it's got a bit out of control now.

He says its not unhygienic because he wears kitchen gloves and then he was mindful of that. (Say WHAT???)

He said he has made me a cup of tea and to come in and talk to him.

Oh dear.

OP posts:
southeastastra · 19/08/2007 20:44

we all have our 'things' his is stainless steel obviously

FunkyGlassSlipper · 19/08/2007 20:43

special

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 20:43

Oooh...spunk in the eye...for pleasure??? Am really confused, thought I was open minded...

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 20:43

I was in control until Special posted. Someone gag her!

mummymagic · 19/08/2007 20:42

come on, what did he reply? this is brilliant, btw

specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 20:42

Also we are all just dead relieved it's not us TBH.

(DH suggests joining in his fetish by plunging his balls in deep fat fryer.)

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