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DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

510 replies

NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:25

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

OP posts:
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:57

Because how can you pleasure yourself with an electric knife sharpener! It's not stainless steel for a start. Or else the toaster and EVERYTHING would need replacing.

I have enough to replace as it is. I am no the Lakeland website. I see no reason for this tawdry business to force me to downgrade to a lesser brand. Even though my life is in tatters.

Oh God the back door is open.

OP posts:
alucard · 19/08/2007 20:57

Don't you get semen on your bedding during non fettish sex?

Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 20:57

Message withdrawn

irishbird · 19/08/2007 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 20:56

Oh my god, imagine what you could do with those tongs...

Theclosetpagan · 19/08/2007 20:56

"steel yourself" NSF

Oh please stop folks.

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 20:56

Pelvicfloor do you not think a tea strainer doesn't address the mess on the Laura Ashley? May I suggest an egg cup?

alucard · 19/08/2007 20:56

Well, it will vibrate

Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 20:55

Message withdrawn

policywonk · 19/08/2007 20:55

Feck me, this thread moves quickly

Beauregard · 19/08/2007 20:55

kitchen porn

NormaStanleyFletcher · 19/08/2007 20:55

Really - you should steel yourself and go and talk to him.

alucard · 19/08/2007 20:54

Why do you need an electric one?

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 20:54

We're waiting Special - Is this available in boxed set?

NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:54

Unecessary details?? You mean like the marigolds? I felt you needed to know that because you all thought I was making a fuss about nothing.

Oh and apparently he was talking German, not french but he HASN'T EXPLAINED WHY!

OP posts:
southeastastra · 19/08/2007 20:54

can you get an edward scissorhands outfit?

policywonk · 19/08/2007 20:54

Don't think she's finished yet, Speccy

Speccy · 19/08/2007 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FunkyGlassSlipper · 19/08/2007 20:54

I am sure you can iron out your differences

Cappuccino · 19/08/2007 20:54

god you are such a trophy wife

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 20:53

I would stick with Gerber...definately.

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 20:53

Oh yes!

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 19/08/2007 20:53

The night of the lonnnnnnnnnnnnng knives.

It should hopefully pan out.

NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 20:52

The milk pan was for catching semen in TheLady. I thought I'd explained. Except on this occasion he missed and its on my Laura Ashley duvet cover. Unless HE'S changed it. He should have really.

i can't talk to him yet. How can he make this ok. He was caressing his penis with the shaft of my Gerber knife sharperner. I will have to buy an electric one now and I have never found them as effective.

How can I talk to him with that image in my head? Could you?

OP posts:
Beauregard · 19/08/2007 20:52

I wish my dp would get off on kitchen utensils,would save me the bother when he pokes me in the back i could just hand him the tea strainer.