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Original poster

DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

510 replies

NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:25

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 21:10

Message withdrawn

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 21:10

I am a bit cold.

OP posts:
specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 21:10

So I pick up the nearest pint of beer and chuck it over his head.

At which point my Mother walks into the room.

In her best Miss Jean Brodie voice she says, "Dear, you really shouldn't throw pints of beer over officers from the Irish Guards".

And I replied "Mother, he is NOT a gentleman".

The end.

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 21:09

Go in and let him do the talking. You don't have to say anything... Then get him to come a talk to us...

TheLadyEvenstar · 19/08/2007 21:09

Throw for when he is not planning on ejaculating in me.........

ROFLMAO

thought that was what washing machines were for washing the stains off.....

OHHHHHH Hang on DP has just come into living room to tell me he is off to bed with the stainless steel Gravy Boat i just bought.........OMG what am I to do?????????

Cappuccino · 19/08/2007 21:09

'I am appalled that you would value our marriage so little as to dirty the kitchen utensils'?

KaySamuels · 19/08/2007 21:09

You have been in the garage almost 2 hours now NS, you can't stay there all night, go in and talk to him.

What do you want, do you want patch things up and try to understand each other's needs and points of view? You do need to have a good talk either way, sounds like you need to be open and very honest with each other.

SML that's one hell of a story!

alucard · 19/08/2007 21:08

Am I slovenly because I have semen on my bedding?

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 21:08

Please help me think what to say to him if I go in. His email explained nothing really. I mean the marigolds did NOT protect the Lakeland kitchen ware at all did it. And the german. I should of known. It was very gutteral but I thought that was just because he was in the throes of passion.

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 21:07

Message withdrawn

policywonk · 19/08/2007 21:07

Schmoo, if you have a punchline to wrap this up I will start a fanzine.

FunkyGlassSlipper · 19/08/2007 21:07

Lol @ special.

I was more shocked about the semen on shoes than by your BJ next to the buffet table

NS - I dont get the cat bit ?

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 21:06

Best not to say anything - just hand him a whisk and wink

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 21:06

It's all too much...the husband was wanking over the milk pan, there was no mexican throw on the bed to catch the spunk which now I reaise I obviously need, mum may want a vol-au-vent so throw some spinach at me, the cat is watching the wanking husband pick out a utensil and now theres effing spunk over suede shoes.

Purple suede shoes? Really? Brain is having trouble computing...

Theclosetpagan · 19/08/2007 21:06

Noooo. Come on NS - tell me this is a wind up - am feeling sooo guilty about laughing.

Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 21:06

Message withdrawn

Cappuccino · 19/08/2007 21:05

rofl at tablespoons

Theclosetpagan · 19/08/2007 21:05
Grin
Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 21:05

Oh goodness. Do you think I should go in?

Then you can all carry on laughing without me that will be nice for you. But your company has been better than none.

Oh God I have just seen him bring the blue marigolds into the kitchen and he was carrying the garlic press I think.

I am looking out of the skylight on and off because I want to see what he's up to and I am in the office/garage in the garden. He's wearing his hopsital pyjamas and he never wears them! Well not sine he had his haemorrhoids done.

What should I say to him?????

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 21:05

Message withdrawn

specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 21:05

So I get to the toilets, somehow. I clean up as best I can. Everything's ruined. Mascara all over my face.

Then I go into the bar area of the party and there he is talking to his mates... loudly saying "...came in her eye!"

alucard · 19/08/2007 21:05

What did you say to your mum Special?

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 21:05

I've never had it in my eyes. I put tablespoons over them.

Cappuccino · 19/08/2007 21:05

the cat is thinking 'Nice socks. Calvin Klein?'

Idobelieveinfairies · 19/08/2007 21:05

perhaps the cat is watching out for his stainless cat bowl?