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Original poster

DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

510 replies

NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:25

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

OP posts:
Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 21:22

Thats IT girls.. I'm going in.. I will NOT be replaced by a garlic press, a milk pan and a knife sharpener. I just won't.

I am going in to speak to him now. How DARE he ask "her" if she is good!

Oh I am so angry

OP posts:
alucard · 19/08/2007 21:22

But wouldn't a throw be more difficult to wash than a fitted sheet? Sorry to go on about it but I'm feeling a bit sluttish (what sluttish used to mean-in edwardian times)

jaynehater · 19/08/2007 21:20
weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 21:20

Who's "she" - the garlic press????

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 21:19

That was what he was grunting Katy????

OP posts:
Dabbles · 19/08/2007 21:19

can soemone start a thread abotu ppl using throw to protect their bedocvers whilst fucking? am intrigued!.. never occured to me to use one, but blardy good idea!

specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 21:18

Hmm... I can see that it would.

GPWM re wipe-able surfaces.

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 21:18

'What was he grunting' sam as asking 'well, was she good, how good?'

Theclosetpagan · 19/08/2007 21:18

I think you have the perfect opportunity to say "I need a new kitchen" NS.

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 21:17

Well as with the Lakeland and Gerber merhcandise, I DID like my mopy kitchen. But the appeal as kind of worn off now.

OP posts:
specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 21:17

BTW, Shoes and bolero never recovered. Eye okay. And I okay too...

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 21:16

He never wears pyjamas. I am a bit worried. he only had his piles done 5 weeks ago.

I thought it was french Doodle. I am not good with languages. He told me it was german in the email. He has some gall don;t you think. It was something like "Oh see rees volles" or something over and over again. And then just before he.. ejaculated, "wushun zoo" or something. I wish I could get these details out of my head. And now someone will speak german and tell me what terrible things he was grunting.

OP posts:
weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 21:16

Make sure they have easy to wipe clean surfaces.

Doodledootoo · 19/08/2007 21:16

Message withdrawn

Cappuccino · 19/08/2007 21:15

it would seem that Moby Kitchens are very good indeed

they can turn a man's head

specialmagiclady · 19/08/2007 21:14

NS, my story is 100% true, but after 20 years of telling it's getting smooth like a well-worn pebble. Yours is still all spiky and painful.

Get in there and talk to him about it. I ony told my story to keep people busy while you went in and thrashed this out.

It's only funny to us because it's not happening to us. And because we know the brand name of all the offending articles.

(By the way, are Moby kitchens any good, I'm thinking of getting mine done.)

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 21:13

What happened to the shoes Special?

Cappuccino · 19/08/2007 21:13

are you cold poor love in the garage?

surely the Merc has heated seats

katylui1 · 19/08/2007 21:13

...here it comes...

Theclosetpagan · 19/08/2007 21:13

..or a very creative and funny one NS.

Original poster
NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 21:11

Personally although its very funny I think SML's story it less beleiveable. I mean mine is happening now! Why would I make up that my husband likes to shag the contents of my kitchen? For what purpose? Only a very depraved mind could think that up surely..

OP posts:
policywonk · 19/08/2007 21:11

SML - now that is a punchline.

KaySamuels · 19/08/2007 21:11

What do you want to say to him?
I would start with how long has this been going on, why didn't you tell me, am I still attractive to you, why are you making more of an effort with our kitchen ware than me, your DW.....and so on.

FunkyGlassSlipper · 19/08/2007 21:11

Boom, Boom, Special

weebleswobble · 19/08/2007 21:10

Follow him up with the slotted spoon!