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DH's obsession or whatever. It's not normal is it.. what should I do?

510 replies

NewSchmooo · 19/08/2007 19:25

Today there was a mix up at work with my shifts and I came home from work only 45 minutes after I'd left.

I found my DH of 7 years naked on the bed surrounded by all the stainless steel kicten implements that we possess and rubbing a knife sharpener gently up and down an intimate area of his body. He was very aroused. He even had pot pourii candles burning and soft lighting.

I knew something was amiss as soon as I came in because it was so quiet and I just had this intinct but I had been putting the bin out for tomorrow so came in through the conservatory and he didn't hear. I just opened the bedroom door (we live in a bungalow) and there he was.

I know its not another woman but what do I do about this. And the softlighting and stuff; he hasn't made that much effort with me for years.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone ever heard on this? A knife sharpener for goodness sake. I feel sick. Have obviously changed my name for this.

OP posts:
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SabraCadabra · 12/12/2013 01:52

Soooo funny

lapetitesiren · 09/12/2013 10:54

That was funny but felt so bad laughing as thought it was true, easily convinced as I watched a channel 4 documentary years ago whereva dominatrix described using a cheesegrater on her clients......

lisad123everybodydancenow · 09/12/2013 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheNewSchmoo · 08/12/2013 23:46

Friggin heck. Feel the need to completely distance myself from this given the OP's username!

Who'd have thought it, so much for trying to be unique

trufflesnuffler · 08/12/2013 23:37

Ha brilliant.

KrispyCakehead · 05/07/2013 01:00

Am crying over another old thread :)

StarlightMcEggzie · 13/04/2009 22:40

One of my favourites!

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 13/04/2009 22:27

ha - i remember this! just brilliant...

Hulababy · 13/04/2009 22:26

So funny Missed it first time round.

StarlightMcEggzie · 13/04/2009 22:24

Well, think it might be a bit late! Maybe tomorrow. I'll be up for a laugh around 8pm.

KnickKnackGetsInsideCremeEgg · 13/04/2009 22:06

maybe we should get all the oldie trolls onto active convos tonight?

ICANDOTHAT · 13/04/2009 22:04

Made you look ........

KnickKnackGetsInsideCremeEgg · 13/04/2009 22:03

I love the serious reply to a donkeys old thread

BoysAreLikeDogs · 13/04/2009 22:01

erm I CANDOTHAT you are v clever to have spotted that

pmsl

ICANDOTHAT · 13/04/2009 21:59

THIS IS A WIND UP !!!!

If not, you need to get help fast for your hubby 'cause trying to shag a knife sharpener is not normal Also, I would be really scared at his choice of 'weaponry'

StarlightMcEggzie · 13/04/2009 20:17

lol

BoysAreLikeDogs · 13/04/2009 20:01

Gawd yes I loved this thread

StarlightMcEggzie · 13/04/2009 19:59

Sorry, - reviving again because I lurve this thread and MN is a bit slow atm.

StarlightMcKenzie · 09/01/2009 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StarlightMcKenzie · 09/01/2009 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

blinks · 08/01/2009 23:50

Think it was Tennants- one of those small towelling ones.

It was, em, quite crispy

NoBiggy · 08/01/2009 23:37

Beer mat!

Darling! The Coaster!

blinks · 08/01/2009 23:32

the throw for spunking on was a master stroke.

my ex's parents had a beer mat (classy) that they kept under a pillow for the same reason.

we found it after getting hot and heavy on their bed at a house party.

EyeballsintheSky · 08/01/2009 23:23

It took me two hours to settle dd and now I have woken her up by snorting tea over her. And DH wants to know what's funny .. Brilliant!

DippyDino · 08/01/2009 23:21

Me too, LucyEllensMummy.
Me and dh sat on the sofa with tears of laughter streaming down our faces.

Oh, the memories!

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