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Original poster

Center Parcs - I thought it was to be kept within my marriage

231 replies

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 17/10/2019 17:09

My family are currently at Center Parcs because we are Scottish, on holiday and we come every year.

Dd ages 15 and add age 13 and I went to the pool at Center Parcs at the busiest time of the week and we are somewhat regretting this choice. It was like people soup, and I have seen every body shape imaginable today ( and honestly no-one cares I know, I cart this awful body around). Anyway, the rapids are our favourite, however it’s possible to get stuck at various points ( we give them names - The pool of unbearable sadness, Dumpy Mermaid gulch, the eddy of despair etc) and at those points it’s possible to get split up from your own friends and family and end up engulfed in the arms and legs of other parties....suffice to say, what happens at Center Parcs stays at Center Parcs, and I suspect some lovely young mid twenties boys who go to the gym may have been turned off women for life.....

I knew that a certain amount of specific intimacy is expected at Center Parcs, however I thought it was supposed to be with my husband and not some student boys from Stafford in the rapids....

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ThanosSavedMe · 17/10/2019 21:28

These are fab.

loubieloo4 · 17/10/2019 21:15

I'm guessing your are at the very turbulent Whinfell rapids! I was flung down the very last drop, churned inside out like I was in a washing machine then spat out, desperately trying to grab hold of the wall or something to keep me still whilst waiting for dd to pop out (usually bum floating first). I had been there maybe 5 mins and the lifeguard whistled very loudly with three short blasts pointing towards me, obviously as a grown up I knew he couldn't mean me as I wasn't doing anything wrong. He whistled again so I turned around to see a very yummy man who said, erm you might want to cover up. One tit had come out of the side of my swimming costume Blush

We go to Woburn now

Original poster
BathshebaKnickerStickers · 17/10/2019 21:06

To be fair I wear a very sturdy boy leg suit that no-one could ever accidentally remove

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holidays987 · 17/10/2019 20:56

I lost my bikini top in there once. My poor cousin had to scour the people infested rapids for quite some time before finding it for me (I was clinging to the side) and we could eventually get out. I think that was the last time I ever wore a bikini

Original poster
BathshebaKnickerStickers · 17/10/2019 20:55

That
Is
Beautiful

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TheresWaldo · 17/10/2019 20:54

Found my lovely drawing. I look fab in this rendition :)

Center Parcs - I thought it was to be kept within my marriage
Original poster
BathshebaKnickerStickers · 17/10/2019 20:34

@Redshoesandtheblues - and at no point does it me the potential to grope random guys

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Original poster
BathshebaKnickerStickers · 17/10/2019 20:33

They are trying to schedule time tomorrow before we leave..!

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Redshoesandtheblues · 17/10/2019 20:31

OP - for you.....Star

itsgettingweird · 17/10/2019 20:25

Elvedon rapids are the best!

We went pre xmas one year and DS spent the entire time jumping into the ice pool in the pitch black whilst I tried to keep my shoulders under so I didn't hit anyone with my rather cold initiated nipples as we hurtled down the rapids after 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
BathshebaKnickerStickers · 17/10/2019 20:16

@Redshoesandtheblues - sent you a PM of my story

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nespressowoo · 17/10/2019 20:12

Going to CP in a couple of weeks. Can't wait 😂

Redshoesandtheblues · 17/10/2019 20:10

Note to self.....learn to bluddy swim! There are unseen benefits never before imagined!

Redshoesandtheblues · 17/10/2019 20:10

That's set me off again....the goose conversation and your new found confidence to grope!
🤣

Original poster
BathshebaKnickerStickers · 17/10/2019 20:07

I’ve only learned how to swim in the last 2 years - literally gone from absolutely nothing to swimming 2.5K in April. So it’s only now I’ve ever have the confidence to go down these things. I’ve been coming to CP for 15 years. I could have been groping random guys for years, but I now have an amazing 20 year old swimming teacher who has given me the confidence to grope random guys

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moobar · 17/10/2019 20:01

This has made me laugh a lot.

Just back from whinfell. Took teenage nephews and baby DD. Took teenage nephews down canyon in the interests of safety. No glasses. One overtook me!! I grabbed him and held on. It wasn't nephew, they had let someone go first to catch their dad. Mortified.

Aunty moobar why were you holding onto that man......

TheresWaldo · 17/10/2019 19:56

Dd drew a lovely pic of me where my tits fell out of my cossie on the rapids at CPs. With the sideline "Woops". I thought I might die.

Bellringer · 17/10/2019 19:53

Centre park v nice for girly weekend. Or any group of friends. Sporty for those who want it, bring own wine and nail varnish for homebodies.

Stabbitha · 17/10/2019 19:52

Never been to centreparcs but went on a rollercoaster at port adventura once and as the ride pulled back into the loading station I noticed my vest top had slipped down and bikini top up...revealing my boobs.

I discreetly adjusted myself and thought I'd managed to get away with it.

Until we exited into the ride photo area.

Mortified.

Bellringer · 17/10/2019 19:47

God don't let squirrels in your house. V hard to get rid of causecloads of damage, eat wiring,get in the roof nightmare

Original poster
BathshebaKnickerStickers · 17/10/2019 19:44

@underneaththeash - very impressed to see a guy yesterday with our home town football team tattoo yesterday. Must also be Scottish

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Original poster
BathshebaKnickerStickers · 17/10/2019 19:42

Great to hear Woburn rapids are brill - that’s where we have booked for next year’s compulsory Scottish trip

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rosy71 · 17/10/2019 19:42

This thread is really funny. We love the Rapids at Center Parcs but I have managed to grab a strange man's leg under water by mistake more than once!

underneaththeash · 17/10/2019 19:42

I always remind the kids that on the rapids you let the fat people go first.
We also remind DS1 as he’s enormous (not fat, but not skinny and a 13yo monster) - that he goes first.
We also play - find the most tattooed person/worst tattoo (where we live people just don’t have them).
I also love the fact that women can go in burkinis and no-one bats an eyelid. I had a Muslim friend at school who could never swim and looked whilst fully at us in the pool every week.
I love it - we have a week free from iPads etc and everyone has lots of fun.

Original poster
BathshebaKnickerStickers · 17/10/2019 19:41

@Sagradafamiliar - hysterical overhead conversation yesterday.

Lovely young couple, probably deeply in love, heading the the spa...

LovelyGuy “I don’t know why you are worried about that goose” - making goose noises

LovelyGirl “I just don’t like it...”

LovelyGuy “But you are on a bike....”

LovelyGirl “It could have a bike YOU DON’T KNOW THAT”

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