Aibu to ask for the most "WTF" complaints

I love these threads for thier completely batshit customers but Ridiculous thats beyond the pale.
I would have had to reply to that. sod having to be polite on the phone, and it wouldn't have been nice. I am so sorry you had that at such a hellish time. [Flowers]

I work in a food business but thankfully we don't seem to get such bloody awful customers as some on here. After the first bit of politeness was rebuffed I would be perfectly clear on what I thought of them! And my face always shows what I think despite what's coming out my mouth as I have been told so many times.😁😁

I had a complaint that the simultaneous interpretation was not simultaneous. Well, no, it ain’t. Until you’ve heard enough of the sentence, you can’t interpret it.

A small part of my job is organising transport for events. Had one guy scream at me down the phone cause I couldnt tell him EXACTLY how many minutes he'd be on the (free) bus from the town centre to the meeting venue.. i explained the event was 3 weeks away and the driver would need to take into account weather and traffic conditions but it would be about 10minutes... he continued to rage until he could speak to my manager because "about 10 minutes" wasnt accurate enough.

Used to install phone line customer told me under no circumstances He will not be having any wires to his house or any wires inside (wanted phone socket in middle of house) .
Explained the service req's wire to work told me thats my problem and sort it but no wires

Call centre, a customer hadn't paid their bill and used to intentionally go through to the wrong departments because those numbers were free phone, even though they knew they couldn't be helped, they would try to bully advisors into it.
She screamed at me for about 20 mins, ending with 'I hope your family all die'. As a widow, who'd just come back to work after losing a child. That was nice.

@Judashascomeintosomemoney

There’s a similar trip advisor review about Ben Nevis - nothing to do at the top apparently, not even a cafe where they could go for a cup of tea!

A lady joined a queue of about 20 people (weekend, tourist spot, summer) got to the front and was asked 'is yours the skinny one?' As she had the same order as the gentleman in front of her but with different milk. She proceeded to start screaming that we had ruined her experience. Absolute crank she was.

I could never work with the public I'd be in jail for GBH, you all must have the patience of a saint

@EverTheConundrum
Sorry, I didn't explain properly. The customer had stipulated they wanted X salad but without x,y and z ingredients or similar. The order was queried/double checked and they were adamant

PP who said someone complained they had fixed all their issues - MIL had this once. Apparently she was a smartarse know it all because she "just had an answer for everything"

I also had an eBay buyer once who bought my old MP3 player. I had planned to send it by one of the parcel companies, tracked, as it was more expensive than the clothes I usually send. He insisted that he wanted Royal Mail, signed for. I said that was no bother, but it meant that he wouldn’t be able to track it in transit, it would just tell me when he signed for it.

So I sent it and he sent me an angry message saying he couldn’t track it. I explained again that you can’t track those deliveries. I linked to the information on the Royal Mail website. He accused me of lying about sending it, so I sent him my proof of postage. He then started insisting I ring Royal Mail because they’d obviously lost it and that’s why he couldn’t track it. I suggested he ring Royal Mail and they would explain the situation to him and got a torrent of abuse back, accusing me of being a scam artist and deliberately unhelpful.

The item arrived the next day and I didn’t hear from him again.

I used to work at Past Times which, if you don’t remember it, sold mostly faux vintage crap, lots of “keep calm and carry on” cushions and the like.

Anyway we sold a copy of a vintage advert for fudge printed on a metal plaque that you could hang up on your wall or whatever, it was clearly from the 1930s or thereabouts with a cute little boy on it.

This lady would not believe me that we did not sell the fudge itself, no matter how many times I explained that the advert itself was the item for sale, showed her the price tag on it, etc. She was bloody CONVINCED that I was maliciously hiding this fudge from her. I tried to suggest that she went to the Thornton’s opposite and she threatened to sue me for breaching trading standards.

This thread is classic. People suck.

A parent complained that she had missed a performance of a show her child was in because she hadn't known about it, and wanted us to re-run the show for her benefit.

I explained that the show had been advertised in at least six newsletters and an email out to parents.

She said "I haven't got time to read those."

There's someone on another thread wanting to complain that the optician receptionist was chewing gum.

Just out of uni I worked at a call centre.

Very angry male customer on the phone wanting to speak to a supervisor, both of whom were female. Customer insisted that they can't be the most senior staff members there, isn't there a man they can speak to?

Female supervisor says to him that the cleaner is a man, would he like to speak to him? 🙌

We were in a restaurant whilst on holiday this summer. We’d ordered calamari for our starters. It wasn’t great to be honest- a bit over cooked and small portions. We could hear a couple complaining on a nearby table and assumed this was why. No. They were telling the waitress that the dish was clearly not calamari as there were tentacles in in. I shit you not. I was so close to finding a picture of the squid and showing them. I’ve no idea what they thought calamari was. They looked so smug when the manager refunded them.

I work in the settlement part of share dealing and the majority of complaints are that we've taken too long to complete the trade and when we've checked it's because their documents haven't arrived by post and we have had instances where the post has arrived over a week after they have been sent and that's our fault apparently

Customer - I want to speak to the manager
Me - I am the manager how can I help?
Customer - you can't be the manager. Get me the manager.
Me - I am the manager sir, how can I help?
Customer - you can't be the manager, he must be the manager! (Points at the supervising male member of staff)
Me - he is not the manager, I am. Clearly you would like to speak to male member of staff, carry on.
Customer (to my male member of staff) - I am not happy with my meal I would like a refund.
Male supervisor - no problem sir, I'll just get my manager for you.

I am hugely reassured reading this thread. I'd been thinking that it was just me, but now I realise that my customers are a mild mannered lot on the whole; that I am just doing my best, and everyone in retail or similar services has the same issues!

Customer service role - customer had a load of minor complaints. Told him how I would resolve them. Got a complaint to the big boss as apparently he wanted to complain to me and all I did was was “have an answer of everything and fix them”

sounds like an idea for a Monty Python sketch.

I have a WTF retail service one too.
New boots for DH bought by me in the sale. The one on display clearly tried on by many people and was marked. The one in the box was pristine.

Asked at checkout - can I return if they're not the right size? Yes
Please could you make a note on the receipt that the display one was marked/scratched? Yes

Boots did not fit. I returned them the next day and was told no refund because we'd scratched one of the boots (the display one) and they wouldn't be able to resell it.

I showed the receipt where colleague had written and were told 'anyone could have written that, you've clearly worn/scratched/marked them'. Long conversation followed. Manager is busy, nothing I can do....

The manager appeared, looked at boots and refunded.

In the old days I used to work selling tickets for the underground. Many people couldn't understand that if you bought a weekly ticket it was for 7 days, and thought it should include two Mondays....
Had someone shrieking at the head biking clerk that they wanted to speak to his superior. His answer was 'well, God's not available, so you'll have to make do with me'
He was a lovely man, and unfortunately collapsed and died in the ticket office at Victoria station, with a queue of passengers banging on the window for tickets while his colleagues desperately tried to resuscitate him.
On a lighter note, also used to work for the police, and had a phone call complaining that they had bought a house next to Brands Hatch, it was incredibly noisy and the police should go and stop the cars racing.

A parent complained that school hadn't come round to get her ds out of bed and she was too busy.

When I was 15 I had a summer job working for a boat hire company - one rather bonkers customer complained that the river didn't smell how they expected it to and this had spoilt their holiday.

DH had a client whose computer wasn't working. Except, the machine was fine, the problem was that they were typing the password incorrectly. They thought they shouldn't have to pay him for the call out because this wasn't their fault and the system should have realised what they meant to type.

Oh once while working in a restaurant in the NW of England a customer complained to me that I wasn't serving him in and English accent...... I'm Scottish.
Another time in same restaurant a customer complained about the way my name was spelt..... he decided it was because I'm Scottish and Scottish people can't spell 👍
I have since moved back to Scotland!