Secrets of your trade.

The factories that make 100% no added anything (not guilty) smoothies don't have any fruit in them and the mixture they're made of is flammable.

They don't have any fruit in them?

What are they then?

I'm sorry but I don't believe this one.

wrt chicken pox and teeth.

I think there used to be an antibiotic that caused terrible brown teeth in milk teeth in children.
Cannot remember much about it though, could it have been that?

@Smotheroffive
Dense, partially dried fruit sludge would be very flammable.

@MaybeIamUngrateful
Re smoothies, the sludge is 100% fruit, you’re just describing the end process.

.... fruit smoothies ... flammable

What's the flammable liquid? Otherwise I don't think I can believe this....

Bar work.. If you buy me a drink I take £1 out of your change and put it in my tips

The factories that make 100% no added anything (not guilty) smoothies don't have any fruit in them and the mixture they're made of is flammable.

MeInGeneva can you explain a bit about how to deal with type 2 diabetes. You say you've seen insulin dependent patients come off it in a few days. How? Would love to know.

My dsis is a midwife and she gave birth at her own unit. People kept popping in to say hi!

@ChakiraChakra - your point about remembering what you pre-ordered made me remember a meal I went out for with the choir I sang with.

The woman who organised it was incredibly meticulous, so she set up a seating plan, and gave the restaurant a list of what each of us had chosen, plus the seating plan, so they were able to bring out everyone’s food straight to them. This lady’s bossiness has sometimes been a source of irritation, but in this case, it looks as if it was helpful.

Oh that’s interesting re midwives giving birth at their own units! Especially going to extra effort to make sure you’re at your own hospital. It’s amazing how working in that environment must change your perspective. Looking round at my own colleagues I can’t imagine anything worse than going into work thinking ‘she’s seen me naked/he’s seen me poo’ 🙈 But I guess being in that profession makes it completely different and not undignified or shameful.

Noloudnoises, invoking Tim Rice works magic as well (or it did some years ago when I used to have to book lunch for my boss and all kinds of random 'slebs').

Omg that was long! My inventories were always long and very detailed too

I used to work in property sales and rentals (I know you all hate me instantly ) in firms dealing with the cheapest end of the market to very high end/very wealthy and/or celebrity clients.

I much preferred rentals (at the lower end of the market too) as you could build up a relationship with tenants and clients. Unlike the common perception of property staff, I am not a total cunt I spent a lot of time helping people struggling with housing benefit claims and advised (within reason!) on other benefits like DLA. I had DC with SN so also advised on local special schools, helped with appeals etc - usually in my own time. I used to come in all all hours to ring clients abroad if something needed a phone conversation (see below). Kept tools and cleaning stuff in my car to help assemble flat pack furniture or finish a clean if it wasn't up to my standard

Have also dealt with lots of horrible situations, especially on inspections - unexpected dead bodies including murders/suicide which were very distressing especially if first on the scene. Found drugs, guns, bullets and all sorts of wierd sexual paraphernalia! Things like guns were reported to the police to deal with. I never intruded on peoples' privacy btw by opening drawers etc, these were all left in the open! I've walked in on people shagging on stairs etc Also the state of some properties (especially the high end!) were absolutely revolting, shit smeared everywhere, fleas, bedbugs, absolutely filthy. I've come close to vomiting in lots of kitchen and bathroom sinks! (Actually I once threw up on a client's floor in front of them due to morning sickness, they were very nice and the office paid for a professional clean).

Never insisted on an inspection like the shit agency behaviour you see on MN and always respected privacy. Turned up to an inspection where a baby was clearly unwell and drove baby and mother to hospital (they sent me flowers afterwards). Used to keep baby seats in car boot for viewings and situations like this.

Some of the bad behaviour witnessed though (high end again!) was It wasn't unheard of for agency staff to shag viewers on appointments and at other agencies staff would use empty properties to hold parties or sleep overnight in after nights out. Especially ones with swimming pools (I've seen people jump/fall into pools in viewings!) Some of the staff kept the keys in their possession rather than in the office for this purpose. If drugs were found in properties they were quite often swiped by staff for own use

We were insured for all sorts of stuff, staff broke legs falling down stairs on viewings etc and personally I accidentally broke a very very expensive item with my handbag on a property visit Branded company cars used to be vandalised on a regular basis. I've had some lovely unbranded cars too like BMWs - allowed to keep on maternity leaves!

I absolutely loved my job and really tried to do my best and gave up a lot of my free time (unless people were complete knobs). We weren't allowed to accept monetary or very expensive gifts but I have received lots and lots of flowers, handwritten cards, wine, chocolate and gifts from all over the world over the years! I've had clients try and give me money for my DC

Also not all estate agents or companies are knobs. I never ever tried to do tenants out of deposits (even before the days of TDS), always had properties cleaned for new tenancies, tried my best to help if people struggled with rent, encouraged landlords to take pets for nice tenants, we insisted on landlord's getting safety checks (again before things like electrical installation regulations). Some of us (and good companies) were not cowboys at all.

NC rest

Frozen absolutely... I never did use a tens machine!! All the best laid plans etc...

*both [are good birthing positions]

I honestly wasn't try to tell you your job

I was just saying how women can do it all by themselves mostly, and yes, getting on all fours will slow things down and allow perineal access, but others don't really so well,bit are good birthing positions.

I loved hearing your experience of watching a woman's pelvis opening and the mother/baby synergy of active birthing. Must be amazing privilege to be alongside as your daily work! Well, all other [NHS] constraints aside that is.

All these midwife posts are making me smile. I had a planned home birth, I refused induction at 40+12 and began labour that day anyway.

I had written a whole birth plan out etc but then didn't even give in to the midwives. I had a whole playlist but didn't play anything. I had a pool but ended up getting out of it to actually get dd out (they threatened me with a catheter and I basically shit myself and noped out of the pool to get shit done).

My midwives were great :)

I see what you’re getting at, that midwives encourage women onto their backs to enable access to safely deliver their babies.
And I totally respect what you’re saying, you don’t need to tell me how birth works best!

I had the most wonderful experience 2 nights ago, a lady giving birth on all 4s, I could see her pelvis stretching to accommodate baby, I could see her shifting her position to accommodate baby’s descent, she pushed how and when she liked. Frankly it was bloody amazing!
And yet I still managed to be ‘hands on’ and she came away with an intact perineum.

Being completely honest, in my opinion I think if women are encouraged onto their backs it’s for 2 reasons (this being from delivery suite, not birth centre or home birth experience):

• if we can’t monitor baby due to loss of contact on the monitor because of position then we put your baby, you, and us in a very vulnerable position. We are actively encouraged to do all we can to achieve good quality monitoring.
• epidural or remifentanil anaesthesia rendering a woman completely unable to mobilise.

Interestingly evidence suggests that a ‘hands on’ approach is the best for reducing tears and improving postnatal outcomes. That doesn’t mean a woman should be on her back though ...

What if Biggins has already booked a table?

I saw Luke Evans in The Ivy once.

Yep. Why do so many believe all that guff!

90% of what is written about in the beauty parts of newspapers or magazines is PR guff in return for snaffling beauty product freebies. Don't believe the hype!

Will they not notice when biggns doesn't turn up?

It's also really lying on your back that gives your hands that kind of access too?

Why are so many women still lying on their backs to give birth?