Secrets of your trade.

@madroid

Uni tuition Fees were introduced more than “a few years ago”

About 22 years ago

I used to work very closely with the Catholic Church. Won’t go in to detail but alcoholism is rife amongst priests.

CPR when the heart has stopped is unsuccessful most of the time, and even if it is successful it is unlikely the person will regain good neurological function. If the general public knew the statistics of outcomes following cardiac arrest, and how brutal and undignified CPR is, I suspect many many more would have 'do not attempt cardiac arrest forms' in place*

My DH had a cardiac arrest at festival, aged 49, luckily he was with a group of nurses. He made a full recovery, physically and neurologically and has been back at work ever since. Feel genuinely blessed every time I am reminded of the usual outcome of a cardiac arrest!

GP receptionist here.

I HATE asking why you want to see the GP.

I would love to give you the exact appointment you want, when you want it. Budget and our management decide what we have to offer and how it will be allocated. I go out of my way to accommodate your needs within the system, and I sometimes get told off for it.

GPs are only human. Some care about their patients deeply. The odd one doesn't care at all. Same with receptionists.

The vast majority of receptionists don't judge people by any medical information they are told.

I love almost all the patients, even the challenging ones.

I do judge patients who are rude and entitled not as a one off because they're struggling, but as a default approach.

Nursery ofsted reports are often worthless. I worked in a big place that had staffing issues. They also had a training school. On ofsted inspection day the training school was shut and the trainers and the students all worked in the nursery. You only have to be good on the day the inspectors are there.

I've also done supply work in many nurseries. Sometimes I've read a report on a nursery and wondered if they had actually visited the place. It either bares no relation to what I see, or is so generic it could apply to all nurseries I've ever worked in.

School Job here.

We don't eat anything homemade you send in.

Most of us are at the school from 7.30 until around 5.30 every day.

We do judge you if you don't - write names in uniform/coats - treat headlice - fill in book planner.

@Elllicam @catburglar

It was a nuclear bomb factory in Russia

A relative works in a hospital theatre and when someone is likely to die (due to an accident, someone on life support etc) they call people from other hospitals where organ donations are needed so they can come to the hospital before the person dies. Everyone waits around in the hospital and the person gets taken to theatre whilst they're still breathing ready for the 'harvest' so they can take the organs straight after they've just died so the organs are fresh and can be given to the person who needs it

i remember "rose cottage" (i also worked in a hospital ). is that all hospitals??

To the nurses on here...you are truly amazing...thank you for everything you do

@geezlouise1 thank you for the info re the DNAR. I recently agreed to have one in place for my DM and have worried since that this was the wrong thing to do (she's 85 with quite advanced dementia but always seems content) so this has been reassuring for me.

I don't have anything to add sorry, but this in an amazing thread.

Nurse here.
When cleaning up profuse, extensive, infective and large rivers of diarrhoea that go beyond incontinent pads, we roll the sheets into a ball and put them into a bin bag. Wasting nhs money yes, sorry.
But having to fish out poo drenched pads, separate them from poo drenched sheets is just beyond the call of duty plus there’s usually relatives waiting outside complaining to the manager that they have had to wait for too long to see their loved one (despite us explaining to them and that clean up was the 4th in the last hour).

Agree about the thankyou catds, they are indeed absolutely treasured and kept forever.

When a patient dies, no matter who or why, we speak to them as if they are still with us. We tell them what we are doing and why, we will wash them, comb their hair and put nice clean sheets and gown on them. When flowers were allowed, we would always send them off to “rose cottage” with a flower on their chest.

I have a pharmacist friend who works in hospital. Her secret is that she will avert significant drug errors numerous times during her shift. As will her colleagues.

Myself and my colleagues regularly leave work upset, sad and feeling guilty because we have not been able to fulfill our job role and “care” due to chronic staff shortages. Many tines it’s a challenge to just get the bare minimum done. This is devastating for all concerned.

Under counter beer pumps are the perfect place to hide a glass with the drips to top up and serve to the next customer.

A thimble is just enough in a batch of 5 litres to name a desert 'Baileys bread and butter pudding'

I no longer work in the pub/restaurant trade thankfully.

Wow. ..this is an interesting read. Nothing to add tho....at the moment

Different job - worked in an office/reception duties on a rota.

Over 18m I had 8 different clients who commented to CEO about me (in a good way), I was always able to chat to them when on hold or waiting in reception area picking up the chat from the previous visit/call.

Asking for family members by name, how they were getting on at school, what secondary thinking of attending as if they were close friends and treated them well (tea and biscuits) when waiting and keeping them updated, that was over and above the other staff who basically showed them where to sit down

If it was a phone call, rather than putting on hold I would be sending messages to the depts to get off the phone / out of staff room etc. It involved a lot of beeps on other phones and often hand signals.

How did I remember the details of conversations after we had generally talked business and weather etc, I kept a notebook in my desk drawer and it contained it all so Ms X, lives x town 20 miles away, came along the coast (weather and sea), has 3 children (names and ages) etc etc

What an interesting thread OP

I so so agree with the CPR thing. I'm currently in the process of trying to push for our staff being more forward with addressing DNARs.

Take this for example, patient comes in she's frail and 89. Had an extensive history including AAA, CKD, COPD, AF, and anaemic. Bed bound. No quality of life at all. She had a peri arrest and I was just so so sad thinking that I might have to put this woman through the indignity of futile CPR.

I can 100% agree with @VelvetPineapple

Most FE is an absolute sham. I also worked in apprenticeships and they too are impossible to fail.

Dog groomers are not magicians. If your dogs coat is knotty it can take an age to comb it through before we can even begin to clip it off. There are no magic solutions, it takes time.

Most dogs hate their legs and feet being picked up for grooming and it makes the process 10 times harder. I wish people would realise that when they’re asking after an hour if their dog is ready for collection yet!

I'm a junior doctor:

It was mentioned upthread but- for a nurse of HCA to be able to take bloods or cannulate they usually have to have it signed off 20 times by a supervisor before they are allowed to do it alone. Med students on the other hand need it signed off once... and yet we are called to do it when the ward staff have issues getting access. This system truly baffles me and I don't know why we are not expected to reach the same competency formally before being 'let loose' on patients.

CPR when the heart has stopped is unsuccessful most of the time, and even if it is successful it is unlikely the person will regain good neurological function. If the general public knew the statistics of outcomes following cardiac arrest, and how brutal and undignified CPR is, I suspect many many more would have 'do not attempt cardiac arrest forms' in place.

That's all I have for now, really enjoying this thread.

A UK bombing was known to be highly likely 48 hours before it took place. Key ministers and personnel had their itineraries altered so they would not be caught.

If you leave your fresh food shopping behind on London Underground staff will keep it for 48 hours before disposing of it.

Actually something different happens.

I mean, why waste fresh food?

• we prevent the newbie fresh out of med school foundation doctors from causing you harm a lot more than you think. We also have to achieve formal competencies in hands on tasks but the fy1s can literally just have a go, but everyone expects them to be more competant than us

• we get quite a lot of women stating they are 'two weeks pregnant' and have hyperemesis. We have to explain that the pregnancy timeline doesn't work like that and fix the dates for them

• each ward has a room where at least half the staff have cried in at some point because of stress

• lots of us get UTIs and kidney problems because we can't drink or empty our bladders enough during the day

• behind closed doors we will argue our arses off on your behalf if we think something is wrong. Then smile when the person we argued with passes it off as their own idea.

• we smuggle biscuits meant for patients into the staff room coz sometimes it's the only thing we might eat. Sorry folks

• if you name us on a card, it will be treasured and taken home. I know nurses who have kept them on their fridge for years

• there are some truly shit nurses who shouldn't be in the job. There's also some doctors who we all would refuse to have if we were hospitalised. Despite reports nothing ever gets done though

• nothing is ever like on tv. Emergency surgery hardly ever happens within minutes. It's more like waiting for hours then it gets cancelled because someone more emergent comes in.