Secrets of your trade.

Auctioneers bid "against the wall" - when an auction starts to get it going if no one has bid they will pretend some in the room has bid and may do this several times

BUT they can only do this below the reserve price. apparent early bids may not even exist.

Aviation again.

Aircraft are very complex machines with lots of things which can go wrong. Which they do. Frequently. When something breaks or malfunctions, the aircraft “goes tech”.

You might assume this means the aircraft is unserviceable until the fault is fixed by an engineer. Not always. Sometimes, an engineer will assess the fault and decide that fixing it can wait. If the Captain agrees, the aircraft will operate flights with loads of paying passengers despite having a technical fault. Happens all the time.

They are aircraft, by the way. Never ‘planes’. Calling an aircraft a ‘plane’ is a dead giveaway that someone has never worked in the industry.

@DarlingNikita There is an amazing thread in Mumsnet Classics titled something like ‘What happens after people die?’ And it is full of NHS staff talking in the most moving way about the respect and care that they give when someone has passed away. It really is worth reading for anyone who has any concerns.

Most politicians are decent people who went into politics to make a difference

Some are phenomenally clever, some not so much. Some are very nice people, some not so much. The clever and / or nice ones are not always the ones that you would think of from what you hear about them in the media (and vice versa)

Thanks, that's really interesting.

needthisthread** they are called discretionary council tax payments

Oh and my family never paid for anything to be dried cleaned.
We used trichlorethylene on any stains...that my dad brought home from the large chemical company he worked for.
Apparently it was the same chemical as used in the dry cleaners.

( in fact we had a cupboard full of very dodgy, hazardous chemicals)

Awww that’s lovely summersb

Do keep them coming.
I don’t really have anything but back in the day when we had a woolies and it had a sweet counter..1967 to be exact
Most of our sweets were unwrapped and came In Huge boxes.
Malrezers were my favourite . They came in 26lb boxes and I would bob down under the counter when it was time to open a fresh box...and have a slack handful 👍

Now they were lush and I’ve never tasted anything in a prepack like those fresh Maltesers.

@thelightsideofthemoon horrified at the nails in bodies and thinking vampires! Did you really mean screws?

@Roomba please don’t feel bad! It wasn’t your fault at all! It just makes me so cross - babies should not come to the neonatal unit unless absolutely necessary and your Ds’s admission was clearly completely avoidable.
Also - I can assure you your DS will have been well looked after. Myself and every single one of my colleagues treat all the babies under our care like they are our own. We will cuddle them and soothe them and generally do everything we can to make them feel secure and loved until they are well enough to come back to you. We know how traumatic the separation is for you, so we do all we can to make sure your little one is well looked after.

pisspants

What's the official name? Why do people ask for? I know someone who would benefit from this kind of help

I work in council tax and all councils have a big pot of money to award to customers who are facing difficulty (a different pot to council tax reduction). It is often not widely publicised but at this time of year there may be some left and not much time for it to be used so is a good time to request help if you have a balance left on your council tax account

"Would Mr Jet please report to the Stage Manager"

=

Bomb scare

A lot of theatres use Mr Sands for a fire, but there are also a lot of different code words in use by different venues, which makes life difficult if you're touring to a different venue every couple of days. (Inspector Sands on a station announcement is 'There may be going to be an evacuation, staff please remain alert'. If you hear an Inspector Sands announcement, it's wise to get on your train as normal, and hope that you depart before the possible evacuation!).

Secrets of working backstage in theatre : we know when you're on your mobile during a performance, actors will tell us, we tell Front of House, or the lighting op or sound op will call it in. Depending on how complicated the show is, we may be having a good old chat while it's going on. The Show Must Go On is a real thing - the bigger the show, the more difficult it is to stop and restart - pantos in particular are like a juggarnaut to stop. We'd sooner keep going if at all possible and fix things at the same time.

Whisky on stage is either apple juice, soda stream cola concentrate in water, or cold tea. White wine is very watered down apple juice. Red wine is much harder to fake, due to the depth of colour - Ribena doesn't look right. One of the biggest brands of stage blood tastes of strawberries. You can make many stage foods with mashed potato and food colouring. Radio mic packs that are worn on the body are often placed inside unlubricated condoms to stop sweat from the wearer's body getting into the electronics. It's bad luck to whistle on stage.

Hospitality - I can say 90% of our food is made on site. And I always have a rule that if a new staff member drops or smashes something I will take over the cleanup so they can flee because the customers think it is hilarious to whoop and clap

We waste so much food. We try and take it to the shelters but they will only take boxed food - even if it has been freshly prepared and cooked a few hours previously.

Tech - yes, i will judge that you cannot do the simplest things that we have talked you through a million times. And yes, we charge by the package because it means as we get faster we can get more done and therefore our hours drop and we would get paid less. A package just means we can charge more and take more work on.

@crosser62 your post was very comforting as in recently lost my Mum. Thank you.

Loving this thread.

Brilliant thread.

Thanks for starting it.

older unfortunately taking blood from a finger wouldn’t work as it needs to come from the vein. But the whole vial doesn’t need to be filled apart from coagulation tests using blue top tubes. For the antenatal tests they can get away with a small amount of blood but usually need 2 tubes for booking in bloods. The allergy tests need a minute amount. Doctors often send millions of tubes because they can’t remember which test is done on which tube, and it’s really sad knowing someone has been bled unnecessarily.

Archaeologist. 99% of the collections in museum stores and finds on site are actually not treasure but in reality quite dull (think boxes on boxes of old bricks and little bits of pottery. Once I had 15 crates of snail shells). At least, they're dull if you're not an archaeologist. Lots of people would turn up for our behind the scenes tours bursting with enthusiasm and leave looking like they'd vomit if they had to listen to me rabbit on about sheep metatarsals or greyware for 10 more seconds.

I used to talk to the skeletons and gave them names.

We all break something eventually. You just hope it's not something rare when it happens to you.

We all illicitly try on the very ancient jewellery whenever the opportunity presents itself.

We will use assorted pottery and stone tools as paperweights when necessary.

Also train driver told me inspector sands means British transport police

Mrspotter, that makes me feel sad :(

I’m a chef and I could tell you about kitchens I have worked in that would make you never want to eat out again.

I actually walked out of a job not that long ago when the manager was insisting I use the raw defrosted cod that had been sitting in the fridge for a week. It was the final straw and I simply picked up my knives , threw my apron in the dirty washing bucket and got in my car.

newsername I have a serious needle phobia and I've asked mid panic attack if they could please do the test from a smaller sample taken from a finger (never done it but I thought it might be easier) and I've always been told they need the whole bloody vile from a vein. Antenatal tests and allergy tests this was for.

Also how do you not full the urine sample cup? I can't control my pee all or nothing