Secrets of your trade.

*In higher education. A few years ago we got an interview departmental memo telling all lecturers to mark up every undergraduate by one grade. So a 2.1 became a first, 2.2 became 2.1 etc. This was just before the tutorial fees were introduced.

It's almost impossible to fail s degree. You have to be practically dead.

International students have their dissertations rewritten for them if their English is poor.

Also students whose parents contacted us about their darlings were despised.*

Not true across the board

My "trade secrets" is that food retailers make a considerably higher profit margin than food manufacturers on own brand products. This one absolutely boils my piss because the net result is majority of food manufacturers cannot afford to pay staff more than the living wage whilst having some cash left to reinvest in training and facilities. Even the discounter retailers. It is also not uncommon for businesses to sell certain lines into retailers at a loss to keep the business relationship for slightly more profitable lines

Wow. Placemarking for later.

The one about BTECs and HNDs being impossible to fail is shocking!!

I’m a music teacher and all I can say is thank F*CK for nicorette gums 2mg flavour icy white

Cricket, our funding doesn’t depend on BTEC pass rates, I’ve never falsified witness statements and I’ve failed students too! To be fair, the fail rate of BTEC should naturally be fairly low as it usually becomes apparent quite early in the course if work is not being done or is of a poor standard, but that’s more to do with having the chance to intervene rather than doing work for students.

I stick to the rules regarding marking, deadlines and resubmissions too! It’s certainly not an easy ride.

Social worker. Each child placed for adoption costs the council £38k minimum - we don't get a bonus for every child snatched ;-)

I haven't RTFT but had to immediately respond to @VelvetPineapple

I also teach BTEC (in a school) and we don't receive any funding depending on pass/fail we get our funding on bums on seats as of 1st October of the previous academic year. I've failed plenty of students, never falsified any witness observations so please don't assume that all providers do this

I'm outside the UK (a judge) and we are not allowed social media, to join a union or political party or accept anything for free (drinks in a bar, a Christmas gift in the hairdressers, bottle of whisky from a tradesman etc).
We also have to do an advanced driving course.

Is the reason fireman can’t have beards to do with suction around the mask?

Neither are soldiers for the same reason 😄

Firemen are not allowed to have beards.

@Milk I think to this day it still astounds me when I just don't care about missing money. Another one is how we just aren't there to detect fraud, people always think we are

It really isn't "just the same" when a factory produces "big name" foods and "value" foods in the same building or even the same production line.

I spent a lot of time in a couple of food processing factories. One produced cooked chicken meals and the other made sandwiches. The raw foodstuffs were separated, different grades of chicken and other meats for different batches, different qualities of mayonnaise and bread and salad for the sandwiches. Once a particular production batch had been made, it was all cleaned down, all unused foodstuff returned to stores and a new load of stock taken from stores to set up the next production line batch. The "premium" branded items were definitely made with higher quality products, i.e. the likes of Booths and M&S branded items were very different to the ones that went to Tesco and Morrisons.

www.alternative-footwear.co.uk/womens-shoes-and-boots.html?brand=pleaser&heel_height=5-inch-heels

5 inch ones are probably the best for normal wear as they don’t have a platform, but you can also explore other bits of the site. Though definitely filter it down to “pleaser” under “brands” when searching as they do others as well that aren’t anywhere near as good.

staffroom is full of judgement towards parents. And I mean full of it good to have that confirmed, when its very much the sense that comes across from some. However, have to nod to some of the amazing professionals that have been instrumental in DCs school progression, working with us as DC with nothing but the best of intentions and zero attitude.

@TimeIhadaNameChange

Look up “Pleasers” online, they’re the best brand. There are quite a few sites that sell them and they have quite a bit of variety so a lot of them look like normal heels rather than the obvious pvc ones with huge platforms.

Own a wine merchant/school and restaurant, a few wine tidbits for you:

In a bottle of wine sold at £5 the money paid for the stuff you actually drink (i.e. the wine) is around £0.30. Most goes to the gvt, with the rest going on logistics, bottling, marketing and to the retailer.

When you get a taste of wine you aren't checking whether you like it but whether the wine is faulty - e.g has cork taint.

It's been known - particularly with large cheap commercial Aussie wines - for vineyards to spray the vines with water just before being machine harvested so they collect the water along with the grapes and thus increase the yield.

The troublesome, disruptive children are often secretly our favourites. We love them just a little bit more

That is rarely true in my experience.

I work in a school.

The troublesome, disruptive children are often secretly our favourites. We love them just a little bit more.

The staffroom is full of judgement towards parents. And I mean full of it.

"Purple dragon has landed" - codeword for lockdown. Get all children barricaded in the classroom and all pupils and staff to take cover under the tables. 'Playing' hide and seek with very little children during a lockdown was probably one of most heartbreaking things I've ever had to do.

VelvetPineapple

I did an HNC in my mid 20's via evening classes and while I passed everything else with flying colours and got an A in my graded unit, I really struggled with the accounting module. I failed an assessment and struggled so much with the resit the lecturer finally stood over me and asked "are you sure?" when I wrote a couple of answers.

I've since gone on to complete a degree and I'm doing a masters so it really was just that one assessment I had issues with

Also disagreeing with the 'millenium bug' being a completely wrong portrayal of what actually happened, checking each and every piece of code for its y2k capability, across platforms and hardware.

Thank you @onlinealienator I wondered why someone would even post such a horrible thing, its highly contrary to the spirit of the thread and just nasty...and untrue. Thank you for your post and care for our animals.

@DinaCaliente she has a phone that has a flashy lightbulb on it, but unless she's in the room she doesn't know it's ringing/flashing. We're trying to get contact with her family to get a key safe installed at her front door, as our drivers are allowed to enter a patients home if they give us permission and the key safe code. They're not expensive to fit and such a benefit to vulnerable adults living alone. It would allow my driver to let himself in and find her (usually watching telly in the living room with the volume up to 100!). We only have two drivers in our store so our old dears know them and regularly bake them cakes and give them presents at Christmas, so it's not like there's random strange men coming in their house and alarming them, they appreciate the weekly visit. Sometimes it'll be the only person they see 😢

Good to know boredwthbrexit