Secrets of your trade.

Civil servants don't have trolleys delivering their free tea and biscuits to their desks. In fact they have to buy their own tea making stuff including milk & sugar and their own mugs & spoons, the only things provided are the kettle/water boiler, and the fridge. Mostly they can only get catering (i.e. drinks & biscuits) for meetings if they have non-civil servants (e.g. suppliers) attending.

Don't know about these days, but it used to be that the space for a staff member was directly related to grade and not need, so a clerk with responsibility for 10 filing cabinets and a cupboard would in theory have less space than their manager who had 1 filing cabinet & no cupboards. And things as insignificant as the colour of furnishings was covered by the official secrets act.

One of the reasons civil servants have so much annual leave is that on a number of occasions leave allowances were increased in return for much reduced pay rises e.g. if annual inflation was at 8%, you would have a pay increase of 2% and an extra day holiday.

Dunno about the premium fuel thing, i didnt get anywhere near that amount extra when i tested it, the extra money certainly outweighed the extra mileage i got!

Ginburee that post is so true.I remember a incident when i was working on the wards and we were trying to arrange a Nursing Home for this patient
The relative said to me how about Rose Cottage you are often talking about it and it sounds lovely.My friend who was a nurse said i am afraid its full.She than asked me when they would be a vacancy.

I work in a call centre for a high street bank.

• most agents will have a refund/gesture of goodwill limit they can give to you without having to refer to a manager. It's normally £250 or below as I think that's the amount it costs to refer to Financial Ombudsman. So if you are clear about what you want as a GOGW and are pleasant the agent will probably give it quite readily
• I know it's annoying that the telephone system tells you 'we're busier than normal'. It's because the industry standard is for calls to be answered in 20 seconds or less - so this will kick in even if the wait is only 25 seconds. It doesn't necessarily mean we're shit at managing capacity and staffing levels!
• please don't get upset with people if you call outside of normal 9-5 working hours and/or weekend or bank holidays and we can't fix an issue immediately. Most of the time, all the back office functions shut down at this time and only frontline staff are available. Plus, a lot of older systems physically don't work on non-working days.

DarlingNikita : Absolutely, love to see people enjoying reading. We sometimes had parents complain about the quality of the books their children enjoyed reading, and my response was always the same, that it’s great that their children are reading books and their tastes would probably change. Or not, but either way, it’s wonderful that they’re reading.

I work with addicts, mentally unwell, the unemployable (due to their past). Please know we are all rooting for you. We desperately want to you to get better and get back on your feet. We do care

You probably all know this but...

Having worked in an independent fashion shop, the mark ups are as follows. If we sell a dress for £100, it has been bought for £25 so everything is priced X 4.

If you buy a pair of earrings for £25, they cost the retailer £6.25. So that's why you see sales for 25% off, or end of season 50% off but rarely 75% off because the retailer will make absolutely no money on that whatsoever.

I will add I have no idea if this applies to large fashion chains, their mark ups could be greater!

canadianbanana, can I ask about the 'flip side' of what you say? Do librarians feel happy/satisfied to see people obviously enjoying books?

Crosser62 you have made me cry. My dad died in hospital and I didn't want to leave him but knowing you amazing angels looked after him, even in death, has made me SO happy.

Also I have been in hospital a few times and always gave my nurses a thank you card.

I loved sending in compliments too. You nurses don't get the recognition you so rightfully deserve so it's only right that when we receive care that is second to none then it's only right that you should be thanked for it.

Ok, petrol related. Premium fuel is often made in part of gas in its liquefied state using a special process. This makes it cleaner with fewer impurities. It also means that while a tank of regular fuel is cheaper and might take you 300 miles, the premium one will take you 350 or more so actually is the cheaper option.

Supermarket fuel is cheap because it doesn't contain additives to keep your engine clean so your fuel economy will drop and you're more likely to have engine trouble. Regular fuel contains the additives so will keep your engine in better condition.

I used to be a librarian. We don’t care or judge what you read, and we don’t care why your library materials are late. Most people forget to return items sometimes, most have guilty pleasure reads, ‘naughty’ books or adults reading children’s books as a trip down memory lane. We’re just happy you add to our statistics by checking items out.

FE tutor here

The disruptive kids are most certainly not my favourite and I really do not love them a little big more. Sorry.

I have also never falsified any results or documents.

We rarely judge parents but we do judge the kids if they don't put the effort into their course work, we kick them off the course.

You definetly can fail BTEC, happens all the time, although we may pass units and not the whole qualification.

My trade secret, we always focus on the wellbeing of the kids, never of the staff, we work ourselves to the bone to do the best for each and every kid, but in reality we cannot make them pass, they need to do their bit too i.e study at home and put the effort in. I really do wish more parents woukd realise that.

Yes, crosser’s post has just made me cry too.

Been in HR for 20 years.
People are weird. I should write a book!

Nurse of the nether regions here.
In over 20 years of working closely with people I can honestly say that we don't judge your bits, we don't mind if you have hair to your knees, its plaited, vajazzled or totally bare. We just care that you have come to see us and see if we can help, although on reflection if you told me you were totally bare because your partner prefered it I might have a chat to see how you felt about it.

We also ask lots of questions about what type of sexual contact you have, and again that is so we do the right tests for you so please do not be embarrassed- there really isn't much that can shock us.
Years ago when I worked on the wards we used to treat the dying and those who had passed as described and would always talk to them as if they were there when you were tending to them after they had passed, including opening a window and using the phrase Rose cottage. Also in theatre if a harvest was performed the team would take a moment of respect together for the person who had passed.
I truly loved my vocation and it has been a privilege to share really intense moments in peoples lives with them.

If you are going through a divorce:

1. Have all bills/service providers and accounts at hand - be tidy and know your stuff. If you are a sham please control the finances!
2. If you are too devastateed please go and seek personal help before starting the divorce process - otherwise you will just waste your lawyer's time ( which is.money - yours!)
3. In my experience, children do not necessarily suffer in a divorce. If you are both convinced and explain clearly to the child that you both believe it is for the best the child will accept it and move on rather quickly ( yes, I know it is difficult, this is why you need good help first)
4. Teenagers try to take advantage ( another reason why you need good help first)
5. You will be told that the best solution for the children is to stay in the same home with the parents moving in and out - but if it does not work for you it will not work for them
6. The partner that is more silent and apparently less aggressive is the most difficult. In my experience, the best negotiators are the quiet silent ones.

I design automotive fuel tanks and despite what people think, when we set them on fire it does not explode. It just melts and the fuel leaks and burns. It's quite boring actually.

School science technician here

You may think the teachers set up the science practicals for your kids. Actually it’s me in my lab doing it

Kids nick a lot of equipment and it’s a pain to keep replacing it

That I am the one In charge of making sure your kids are safe for their lessons.

If I wasn’t there, your kids wouldn’t be able to do any practical science

When I was a student I worked at a biscuit factory. The same biscuits were packaged whether for high end or low end brands just different wrappers.

velvet pineapple . Same on the course I was teaching on. I thought it was just the dick head of department who cba to make any effort in his last couple of years before retirement. He also insisted I signed a couple of students off with PAL (Prior accredited learning?) when they were actually unskilled to the point it was stopping them reaching their potential in other areas of the course.
Trade secret : many violin dealers will try and convince you that the violin in the attic is worth pennies when it's actually going to make them a 5 figure sum when they sell it on. Some auction houses are as crooked and ringing in the sales room is rife.

More IT here

If your engineer leaves you a docket it may have some of the following on it -
RTM Fault - Read the Manual
RTFM Fault - Second time I've been to the same thing, read the F Manual.
Interface Error - Normally the interface between the seat and the keyboard

Freaking brilliant thread - thank you!

From the GPs i know: if you are shitty to staff, wont say to staff what the problem is (and just say "its personal"), they will leave you to wait for ages. You'll be the last person they call as you havent given receptionists info. Also, if you are stroppy with them, they may be givjng you meds to get shot of you, because they dont care enough about you to work through why you are ill. They'll just want to treat your symptoms. Moral is: be nice to nhs staff

That if you are mean to your child's teacher it can often affect your child's day.

@Kazzyhoward sounds like ex 2 sisters?