Secrets of your trade.

I can absolutely assure you Persephone there is no disdain there . They are merely observations of patterns of behaviour- we have absolute compassion and love for our patients . We will always do our utmost for them and behind closed doors we treat them as we would our own. There are , of course , very rare exceptions as there are in any profession but we certainly don't do it for the glory or the fame or the money. I am glad you would never stoop to our level but I would challenge you to walk a while in our shoes and watch just how shit it is to see animals suffer as a result of humans ignorance . Ignorance by the way is by far the most common type of animal cruelty. Pets deserve SO much more so than that.

I’m a teaching assistant - in the past I have specifically been a 1to 1 for early years children with ASC.

The love I felt for those was almost the same as for my own children.

Like my own children they sometimes absolutely did my head in, but I loved them unconditionally, would have taken a bullet for them, and adored seeing them every day.

@BathshebaKnickerStickers - yep, and when they really annoy you, and you call them your own DCs name .

I warned another TA she'd do this, and she swore she never would....it took until April, but she did slip up eventually.

My fellow TAs and I also wish we could take some of the children home and give them a hot chocolate and a big bubbly bath and a load of bed time stories. But we can't, so we do our best in the 6 hours a day with limited resource.

Dark humour is a way of distancing yourself mentally from the awful parts of your job. I'm sure that no vets or nurses would be callous or careless enough to speak like that in front of anyone who wouldn't understand.

From DH who works in retail... The 'back' or stock room is not as big as you think and almost certainly does not contain that thing that the staff member is 'looking for' for you. Stock levels are computerised and staff are pretty good at knowing what's been delivered recently. If they are 'checking the back' for stock, they are probably having a sit down, having a quick drink or eating something, going to the bathroom or bitching about work/customers to their colleagues.

@WarCat & @Curtains77

How fortunate that I never let ‘gallows’ humour come in to my line of work, and even under the greatest of pressures, would never allow anything as hideous to rear it’s head when faced with the death of somebody’s loved one (young & old). I am quite disappointed really, I naively thought that the veterinarian profession would show as much compassion and respect as that of nursing & midwifery. They may be just ‘animals’ to some, but I have seen some patients get far more from their beloved pets than their family members. What’s more, should any Nurse/midwife be overheard talking so disdainfully about a patient, they could be facing disciplinary action.
I guess we learn something new everyday.

I used to work at a fast food restaurant... We literally had 30 seconds to make up a burger or wrap, that's why it looks a mess some of the time. Also.. If the milkshake/ice cream machine didn't work, it was sometimes due to people not bothering to get the milkshake mixture or Syrups. Usually due to the busyiness of the store.

DP works in insurance and apparently the week before a new model of phone comes out the insurance company will buy up the excess phones of previous models so when folks ring up claiming that their older model phone has broken, expecting a nice shiny new model they are able to replace like for like instead.

Feels good to get that off my chest under the disguise of being anonymous wishvthere was a fist pump emoji Warcat

Yep exactly what curtains says

And I will definitely judge you ( as will all my colleagues) if you breed your pet without proper healthcare and nutrition before and during pregnancy to make money then moan and expect the Vet to do an emergency c-section and pay in instalments when at best you sell the puppies or kittens for thousands and at worst they die because you left it too bloody late to seek medical attention and we can't save them .

To be fair to warcat- I can second both of those observations ! I think gallows humour is rife of course- the week or so before Christmas and Easter are usually called 'clear out week' as people cope and cope with chronic illnesses in their pets and at these times with all the extra pressure in life being busy , the stress of it all is just too much and there is a big spike in euthanasias. Sad but true 😔

@highlighta
Sorry for your loss

My DP is a paramedic and they also treat everyone- those still with us and the departed- as though they are conscious and listening. Even if there's only the departed present. He says it is always someone's son/daughter/mum/dad etc.
He really drums it into newbies and would be very cross if it happened differently in his hearing.

I work for the MoD so can't reveal any "secrets". but i am constantly amazed at the misconceptions people have of our armed forces personnel and the skills they have. "They run around with guns, shouting and killing people".
Yup. in reality, they are accountants, dentists, logisticians, medics, chefs, stewards, navigators, project managers, cartographers, air traffic controllers, builders, .........

Archaeology/ancient languages specialist here. My specialist language has a part of speech called the 'enclitic copula'. We all snigger at this.

Also, I judge people who have tattoos in the writing system I specialise in. They don't mean what you think they mean.

My husband is a priest. Sometimes there is so much wine left over on a Sunday morning that he's not in a fit state to drive home 😆

'I killed that one on Monday’ '

Because of the times I've seen therapists just swirl some water around to 'clean' it and the toenails with oozing fungal infections that were clipped and filed with equipment that is then used on someone else. I know it should all be put in barbicide but if you'd seen what I have you'd understand.

@WarCat
Why say ‘I killed that one on Monday’ though, why use such a flippant (and frankly, quite horrible) term?

Warcat I still refer to one of the vets at our practice as “the one who killed my cat”

Civil servant here. Won't go into great detail but in my department where we mainly deal with vulnerable people and their money, the staff are given a pitiful amount of training, have to switch roles with a weeks notice, have to deal with customers extreme mental health problems, addiction issues etc - again not what we are paid for or trained to do. Once during a 2 year period my role changed around 4 times. It can be a demoralising job but my colleagues and I all work extremely hard to deliver the best to people despite this.

place
the resident/patient, is left in their bodily deposits for a very long time.

That’s awful! Why are they being left for a very long time

Nurse- we often cry when patients die, especially long term patients (obviously in private)
I make sure no matter how busy I am that I perform last offices on my patient, talk to them and explain what I’m doing. It’s the last thing I can do for someone.
We open the window to let their soul out silly I know

Oops forget to say she paid $25 for each of them

My friend had a bridal shop. She was a regular visitor to USA
She spotted a bridal shop closing down, so she bought two or three large suitcases and bunged about 20 in them.
Got them back to the uk, stuck them in the washing machine and put them in her shop.

In all fairness she didn’t take people’s eyes out and charged no more than a £100 for them.
Win:win, she made a profit and he brides got a bargain.

Currently buying a car so want car salesman tricks

The price of a wedding dress to a bride is one third profit, one third shop costs and one third cost of the dress. So a £3k dress is bought in for £1k.

That's pretty normal kind of markup/gross profit for any business that is high value, high time. It's the same kind of percentage for restaurants, pubs, cafes, and most things that are hand made/labour intensive. Factories/manufacturing is the same with the 3 third philosophy, i.e. a third raw materials, a third overheads and a third profit.

It's only really the "pile it high, sell it cheap" kind of things that are much lower margins, such as groceries, where margins/profits are more in the 20/25% arena.

The price of a wedding dress to a bride is one third profit, one third shop costs and one third cost of the dress. So a £3k dress is bought in for £1k.
Most shops will sell you 1 size too big if they think you might put on weight, if you don’t the seamstress makes money-win/win.
The sales girls enjoy dressing bigger brides more- the look on a bride’s face when she finds the one that makes her feel amazing is lovely.
We choose playlists which include songs which might be your first dance song, chances are if it comes on the bride takes it as ‘a sign’ 😂