Next door are having a massive fight about google

SheGotBetteDavisEyes

Misogyny. The coup de grace was that, as a woman, I hated Trump more because of his attitude and actions against women. I may have directed the phrase "middle class, entitled, white male privilege" in DH's direction, too. Kinda below the belt as he's a pretty egalitarian guy. But all's fair in love and politics.

I once heard my NDNs having an argument after she accused him of having an affair. My favourite line of the argument was "I'm not fucking her you fuckwit, I fuck you don't I? For fucks sake - I'll fuck you every day if it's gonna keep you quiet!" I remember just laughing to myself at the thought that the whole street was listening in to an argument about their sex life!

DH once got in a right snit about a fitted sheet. He spent 45 minutes trying to get a single fitted sheet on to a double mattress then lost his rag declaring that I had 'broken' the sheet. He had the mattress nearly folded in two (I still don't know who he managed it) trying to get the thing to go on. Apparently me pissing myself laughing about it wasn't helpful.

Me and DH don't argue. At all. Luckily I've had some right bellend exes and have an array of ridiculous arguments under my belt. A favourite was when a distant ex eventually refused to speak to me for a week because I wouldn't apologise for "nearly killing" him in my car.
He'd kissed someone else and I caught him, yet somehow I ended up driving him back the 50 miles to our home town. I was naturally furious (as much at my muggy self as him).

My crime?

I was doing 72mph on the motorway.

I told him I'd actually "nearly kill" him to show him the difference if he liked but I wasn't apologising for something I hadn't done.
Still feel relieved that I eventually managed to get rid of him

Luke.Warm is so funny but that would piss me off too!

Like other pp’s me and DH only ever argue over stupid stuff, the huge stuff we talk about and resolve.

A few Christmases ago we bought our DD’s a joint trampoline as their main present, and the plan was to put it up on Christmas Eve after they had gone to bed. Unfortunately we had a storm with really strong wind and DH went out to do it around 11.30ish cake back in and decided he couldn’t do it because of the storm. We then had a huge argument in whispered voices in our kitchen ending with me saying ‘the elves will just have to come back and do it another day then!’ at that point DH decided to leave the kitchen shaking his head at me.

"it's not fucking nugget, you fucking ...nugget!"

I used to live next door to a young couple who had a blazing row about the concept of lukewarm water. She didn't know what it was and he decided that the best way to explain it to her was to just keep on saying 'Luke. Warm.' and nothing else over and over while she got increasingly angry. He was stood in the front garden smoking a rather large spliff at the time so the whole exchange was conducted through an open window.

Not neighbours but I had a massive ding-dong with dd about her scarfing a whole huge dose of my Day Nurse on Christmas day when I'd been hoarding it with half doses until I could get more after Boxing Day

In fairness we were both pretty ill.

Dh and I once had an argument about who starred in Cool Hand Luke, Paul Newman or Steve MCQueen. Annoyingly I was wrong.

One of my favourites, although apparently its an urban myth which I find quite gutting

ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”

Canadians: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”

Americans: “This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.”

Canadians: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”

Americans: “THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT’S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.”

Canadians: “This is a lighthouse. Your call.”

I had a massive row with DH last night because I bought something I can't afford, then got cross with him for not being cross with me for buying it.

Dread to think what our neighbour must have thought with me screeching, "Why aren't you angry with me? For the love of God will you get angry with me!!!"

There's a very high end nursing home on the way to my work, I once witnessed two female care assistants, complete in their candy striped tops, outside the home, on the pavement, at about 8 am one morning, battering the living shit out of each other. Proper hair pulling, slapping, wrestling,they had the lot going on.

It's one of those things you drive past slowly, thinking "fuck me, there's two care assistants fighting"

No idea what it was about, but they were going at it hell for leather 🤣

Eh, milk in an omelette is scrambled eggs.

DH and I recently had a bit of a contretemps over which one of us hated Trump the most. I won

An honourable skirmish. What gave you the winning edge?

I did hear two women arguing in a supermarket one of them ended it by saying "I'll dust out the queue/cue???" - it ended the argument but I have no clue what it meant.

@DontDribbleOnTheCarpet
Yes! I do this, even with absolute proof I am wrong I just carry on 🤣

'Nay lass' oh God I'm crying 😅

Good timing
My partner of 17 years has truly just huffed off out because of a row over celebrity master chef.

Our biggest fight we’ve ever had that escalated so much i flounced to my dad started over an odd number of bbq ribs from the Chinese and who got it.

Funniest argument I heard was on Ascot station platform, between a train driver (TD) and the platform announcer (PA) - waiting for a train into London.

PA - Next train to London is on Platform 2

So lots of people get onto the train on platform 2

TD, over the intercom, This train is not going to London, please get off the train if you want to go to London

PA - Please get onto the train on Platform 2 for London

TD - No, this train isn't going to London. Please get off the train if you want to go to London

This continued back and forth several times with people getting on and off the train, getting more and more bemused and worried about where they were going to end up...

Ended up with the PA and TD shouting at each other, along the lines of
PA Your train is going to London. Let everybody on so you can go in 2 minutes
TD - this train isn't going to London - I'm the train driver and I should know
PA - well I set the points and it is going to london - so I'm the one that knows
This went on several more times, getting increasingly sweary and heated, everybody on the platform standing and watching in amazement. Unfortunately it was before the days of phone cameras - which is a shame as I can see that it would have gone viral very quickly.

In the end nobody got on the train, td drove off with the pa still yelling announcements at him, both convinced that they were right. No idea where the train did actually end up!

I once had a blazing row in the middle of a freshly ploughed field, about the correct way to plant potatoes. Half way through, I realised that I was wrong, but I carried on regardless, and won!

with what sounded like genuine hatred in her voice, 'yes, well, we all know what happens when you buy the fucking expensive crackers'

My father, aged 67 at the time, refused to speak to my mother for a week because she said he didn't look like Paul McCartney

These are pure gold.

I remember years ago walking past a couple, just as the man announced to the woman in total exasperation, 'But you've got PLENTY of pairs of slacks, Norma.'

God I really want to know what happens when he buys the "fucking expensive crackers"

I know but we never shall! Not following them around the supermarket to hear more is in my list of my top five life regrets.

I want to know if they meant biscuits or Christmas crackers!!

Oh, a couple in Primark, only caught the last bit.

‘Well, I just want to see what they’ve got upstairs’
‘You’ve just been up there knobhead’

My Mum and I were out walking in the Dales and having a very animated conversation where she wrongly insisted there were lepers in Spartacus. It got quite heated, until from the other side of a dry stone wall came a gruff Yorkshire voice saying "Nay lass, yon lepers were in Ben Hur, and I'll hear no more about it!". We shut up.