Next door are having a massive fight about google

Had a huge row with DP (now, surprisingly DH) while we were travelling back to the SW-ish from Manchester airport after a long haul flight. We were both knackered, sunburnt and snappy and I was navigating while he drove our shitty car. We hit Birmingham and suddenly there are loads of diversions and he's getting really strEssex and I can hardly see the map (no inside light). The diversion signs just stop and he's shouting 'which way which way' at me as I'm wrestling with a huge AA map (pre-TomTom ). He pissed me of so much I manage to rip the entire map in half which I was quite proud of. Then I realise I've ripped it down the M5 which is where we need to go . We ended up in Coventry instead of Gloucester. Worst row ever.
Apart from me throwing the Senseo machine at him, missing, and it going out the window of our flat.

Not so much of a row, but a conversation with my then 3 year old son.

C: It in the wash bean.
Me: What's the wash bean hon?
C: You KNOW the wash bean!!
Me: What is it?
(Cue circular conversation until I had a brain wave)
Me: Show me the wash bean?
C leads both me and DH to the kitchen and points to the washing machine...
I for some reason found this hysterical and the more my poor DS insisted "It not funny!!", the more I laughed. I know it's cruel but his frustration was so sweet and innocent! I left the room in the end when he boiled over in rage that it was "wash BEAN not washing MACHINE!!!"

We still call it the wash bean lol!! He's now 7!!

@thighofrelief I'm crying with laughter at that 😂

I had a huge argument with my ex over essentially nothing.
We were discussing gay marriage and I observed that in America someone has married a horse, and yet they get the uber vapours over gay marriage with an accompanying eye roll. Fair, I felt.
She went absolutely batshit and said that I was being racist (anti American) (she was Belgian) and also that this simply wasn't true so I was also lying about horse marriage.
She became so incensed that I received a kick on the shin and she continued to holler furiously for approximately 3 hours. Long after I had walked out (thanks WhatsApp)

(FYI chap called Michael Holden from Missouri married his horse, Pixel)

Uh oh

I have lovely old neighbors who are not from the uk and often hear them chattering away in the garden, all sounds peaceful normally. One day I was putting out the washing and they were chatting, all of a sudden the old guy says to his wife 'oh fuck off and go away' cue a shrill unpeaceful one way conversation ....couldn't understand a word of it but he was getting an arse chewing ..... then heard a door banging hahaha he stayed out in the garden for quite a while muttering lol ....

In my old house me and DH got very angry with each other, can't remember why but he was stood on the stairs and I was at the bottom and we started throwing bags of recycling at each other and telling one another to fuck off. My sister was living with us at the time and came out of her room to see what the noise was and saw what was going on.....she just stood there looking at us lol.......

Me and DH don't fight very often.
The only fight we've had this year is in regards to me washing his thermals.
DS keeps getting clothes out the washing basket and playing with them, I periodically throughout the day collect clothes from around the washing basket and put them back in.
DH got his thermals out "ready for later" and DS must have been playing with them, everything went into the washing machine.
We argued for 30 minutes, quite loudly.
He said it was my fault for putting things in the washing machine without checking them.
I said I do enough round the house and I'm not checking each individual item before I put it in the washing machine just because he's left his clothes in a stupid place.
I managed to wash and dry them before he needed to wear them anyways 🙄
Neighbour must have thought we were mad.

Former next door neighbours. She yelled "I can't sustain a relationship with someone who doesn't know the difference between a boiling potato and a baking potato!" then threw him out of the house.

I'm not sure I know the difference even now!

My neighbours kids are always arguing and winding each other up, normal sibling stuff.
One day the mother obviously had enough because she screeched "stop fucking screaming" at the top of her lungs, made more noise than the kids

Growing up with 4 sisters, with quite big age gaps, we had a lot of ridiculous rows.

This particular one was when it was just my Mum, Step dad and the teen twins living at home.

When they were 16:

“I ain’t stacking the dishwasher Dad, you take the piss, I’ve been at college all day,” on and on she went

Me: “Just load the dishwasher you entitled Princess, I used to have to hand wash all the plates and stuff for 7 people”

Her: “Its not my fault you were born in the olden days!”

(I’m a decade older)

When they were 10:

DT1 “it’s MY top”

DT2 “no it’s mine, yours is in the wash”

DT1 “Yours in the wash. And I know that because I wore yours yesterday and now I want to wear mine today”

DT2 then attempted to snatch the t shirt from her, resulting in them cat fighting and falling over the patio table, which meant they knocked my Jack Daniels over, my glass and a full bottle, so I turned the hose pipe on and drenched them

Their bedroom also overlooked the extension; they’d quite often convince the other to go onto the roof then lock them out.

I also had an argument with them because I said Prawn Cocktail crisps shouldn’t be in the “meaty” variety bag as they’re fish, both were adamant that Prawns were a farm animal?! And that they’d held and stroked them. DUCKS dumbasses, i was on that farm trip, it was fucking DUCKS not prawns. Had to go in the loft and dig out photos.

Lying in a tent at creamfields with OH tripping balls (this is about seven years ago, I only occasionally trip balls these days) convinced that sand is being poured on me from some where, and the couple sat outside the tent behind us start arguing over the fact David Guetta didn't play particular tracks, to which the lad said "David Guetta the fucking yank" which abruptly ended the argument.
For those who don't know, David Guetta couldn't get any more French if he tried.

I once had a big argument with dh about the size of the universe and what was outside it.

And an argument because he bought me a new laptop.

I may have been slightly drunk for the universe one, the laptop... no idea!

If anyone on here hear me bellowing 'Break the humous embargo at your peril!' to my husband the other day, I promise I am more reasonable than I sound...

I'm ashamed to admit he thought it was moo point too

YOU KILLED ALL MY ELVES!

Walking up the path to my best friend's house before a small party they were hosting, I heard her scream at her partner, "WELL WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE YOUR FANCY PANTS WIENERS AND GET IN THE FUCKING BIN", followed by a loud metal clang and some incomprehensible shouting.

Turns out they were arguing about small sausages, her insisting they were called Cocktail Sausages (quote: "Why would they put a fucking cocktail stick in them then") and him wrongly insisting on calling them Wieners. When I suggested a middle ground by calling them Mini Sausages, it was met with death glares from both of them

"loowarm"

A bit like Joey's "moo point" in Friends?!

Me and DH had a fight over a cafetière once.

IdahoCrow I’m now getting evils from the dog because I proper laughed out loud at that and woke him up.

Loowarm 😂😂

Me and, DH have an ongoing argument about the word lukewarm. He insists it's loowarm
The dictionary and later Google has did nothing to convince him he's wrong.
We also have an argument about what song is going to be played at his funeral. He wants the live version of Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd.
I'm refusing because its about 10 minutes long and I can't expect mourners to sit that long listening to a song they might not even like.
I reckon an edited version of the album version would do, maybe a couple of minutes.
He stopped speaking to me when I suggested the Scissor Sisters version.

Having just posted on the 'getting lost in confusing buildings' thread, I've just remembered a huge argument that DP and I had in the Croydon Ikea. He suddenly went off the 'yellow-brick-road'; that was bad enough, but he'd done it so we/I missed the lighting/candles/kitchen department. I was livid - but he knows that I have an unhealthy obsession with lights and candles - I think he'd done it deliberately to divert me, but by the time I'd worked it out and returned to the yellow-brick-road I was yelling at him

I had a shouting match with my OH about whether dogs should be on-lead or off-lead when we were walking through a field of cows.

Needless to say, we don't own a dog.

(It's OFF-lead by the way, because the cows will chase the dog and it can run faster than we can).

@ScribblyGum just been given a few sideways glances by my fellow commuters as I quietly shook with laughter and tears streamed down my face. My jaw hurts from the ridiculous smile too.

I feel Like I was actually there and am 100% on your side. Not at Christmas!