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Original poster

To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

590 replies

Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 20:34

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’ Hmm

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN Angry

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling Sad

OP posts:
ethelfleda · 09/08/2018 22:17

Shart goblin

Shaft gibbon

Pig tit fingers

I also really liked correctile distinction and turtle on a post. Amazing.

justilou1 · 09/08/2018 22:15

Yay! So happy you win!!!

MipMipMip · 09/08/2018 22:10

Is it wrong that I want this to be picked up by the daily mail advice section so they can have the headline

EMPLOYMENT LAW FOR SHART GOBLINS

?

CraicMammy · 09/08/2018 21:56

Donald Trump X David Brent = Shart Goblin

Etymology23 · 09/08/2018 21:33

This thread has had me riveted since the beginning and I have laughed embarrassingly loudly. Shart goblin and correctile dysfunction are now high on my list of insults. Mumsnet classic indeed!

Original poster
Mansplanation · 09/08/2018 21:32

fletcher I find it fascinating when people think work environments are so strict you can’t check in on social media/ mumsnet when you go for a wee/ have 5 mins for a cup of tea. Where do you work that’s so up tight?

OP posts:
NynaeveSedai · 09/08/2018 21:31

The OP said way back in the thread that she has to get the guy through these 2 weeks so she can leave as planned.
If I were her manager I would be very unimpressed.

holidaylady · 09/08/2018 21:29

Oh piss off you miserable whingers!

Clearly never been on the recieving end of a mansplainer eh?

Ever thought that perhaps you are blaming the op for the geezer being shit at the job? Totally not her concern. He was shit (and rude) he was found out. Fired. That's life.

I love the flow chart, might print out a few copies

Original poster
Mansplanation · 09/08/2018 21:29

There’s been A LOT of stuff going on between manager and HR. They’ve contacted previous employers and found out that things weren’t adding up as well as a few things he’s said to other people causing flags.

He actually came in though a LinkedIn job ad, the whole campaign cost £280 and we got 14 applications from it, 4 of which went to interview. First time we’ve tried recruiting this way and although it works, it’s clearly not the same as having a recruiter vetting applicants. You get what you pay for it seems!

She was ok with my reservations when it was just about his skill set, she was not fine with it when it became obvious that he was a massive bellend as well. HTH.

OP posts:
kw1091 · 09/08/2018 21:29

Look at all these late to the party bores. Fomo is a terrible thing!

FletcherRye · 09/08/2018 21:25

So someone losing their job has basically been given a running commentary on MN? How have you had the time to provide so many updates whilst at work?

You don’t seem all that professional yourself, OP.

How did this end up in classics? Confused

Cloudyapples · 09/08/2018 21:11

Did manager make the decision based on him not being able to answer her question? Or had she picked up on the other stuff that had been happening all week?

NynaeveSedai · 09/08/2018 21:04

Your manager was totally fine with the fact that you've had serious reservations about his capacity for the past week but didn't share them in case it jeopardised your new job? Hmm

XXcstatic · 09/08/2018 21:03

Your company has got an odd approach to recruitment, OP. It costs thousands to recruit a new employee to a key role, and you've got 2 years to sack them if their performance is not up to scratch. Strange to sack someone after 48 hours, before handover has even been completed, on the basis of not being able to answer a question.

AynRandTheObjectivist · 09/08/2018 21:02

I feel bad now, OP. I assumed he patronised you because you're a woman, especially because you're a young woman. But it seems he's like this with everyone.

I feel a bit guilty.

On the plus side, you'll certainly hear from his solicitor. The laugh the solicitor will emit will be heard right across the Channel.

WitchDancer · 09/08/2018 20:42

Wow! I admire you immensely for not blowing your stack at the Shart Goblin (this is a phrase that I need to use as often as possible 😂)

BringOnTheScience · 09/08/2018 20:40

One of the very best threads ever.

Thank you OP for handling the shart goblin so beautifully.

Wishing you well in the quest for a more successful handover!

FiestaThenSiesta · 09/08/2018 20:32

“ I will relish it”
Why? You bought his bullshit and hired him along with your manager.

Autumnchill · 09/08/2018 20:30

Thank you thank you thank you! You maybe haven't had had the best week but you've made me laugh so much. I so wished he hadn't been sacked 😀

KeepServingTheDrinks · 09/08/2018 20:29

It's gone into Classics. Already.

Congrats, Mansplanation, you've immortalised shart goblin

mamakoukla · 09/08/2018 20:29

I love your manager! Enjoy the new job; you deserve all successes that come your way.
Still sniggering at the goblin reference

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 09/08/2018 20:22

Ah thank you OP. I have loved this thread

popocatepetals · 09/08/2018 20:21

Fantastic outcome OP, enjoy your chat with everyone tomorrow morning.

Oh I do so hope that he makes an appointment to see a solicitor... and when he gets there he finds that his new solicitor is a woman Grin

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 09/08/2018 20:18

Fabulous. But who is going to do (or spectacularly fail to do) your job now?

bluetrampolines · 09/08/2018 20:15

I actually cannot believe this thread. Mansplaining is a very underused description if ever there was one.

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