Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

590 replies

Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 20:34

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’ Hmm

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN Angry

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:08

I’ll give him until Monday to settle down, it might be nerves and there’s a chance he’s trying to impress me which his knowledge and is just woefully tactless.

He’s definitely used to being the expert in a room, so sitting with someone who’s knowledge of the subject is on par/ arguably better than his is possibly a new experience.

He needs to get over it fast though, if he tries this shit on one of my senior colleagues there won’t be anything left of him.

OP posts:
GoatWithACoat · 08/08/2018 21:08

I think he fancies you.

He’s still a massive twat though.

recklessgran · 08/08/2018 21:07

OP you need to man up and do some willy waving of your own!

Themerrygoroundoflife · 08/08/2018 21:06

If I had the gaul I would say in a very soft caring voice, now you probably haven't heard of this before, and I want you to know it's absolutely not your fault, but actually there's this problem called sexism. Now you might find, it does seem to be something you are impacted by, that you feel the need to explain things that are really quite obvious to women who know more than you. Since you are such a good boy and fast learner I know you won't fall into this trap again. Well done for taking this so well. It's always good to be ready to improve yourself... smile, pat head, walk away.... My brother in law does this. It is mightily annoying. At least you aren't related to him!

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 08/08/2018 21:05

Yes, really don't call him a shart goblin. He sounds similar to the verruca gnome.

PandaPieForTea · 08/08/2018 21:05

Presumably he was interviewed and appointed by someone who he will have to report to. Do they know that they appointed a shart goblin yet? They will be gutted when they realise.

Coffeeandcrochet · 08/08/2018 21:05

My eye is doing that twitchy thing just reading this. I’ll hold yer coat OP.

Lunaballoon · 08/08/2018 21:04

I hope he doesn’t try to blame you if there are any hiccups once you’ve gone. He sounds the type!

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:03

I’m going to recommend I work away from the office for the last 2 weeks to my manager —in the interests of his safety—.

OP posts:
Graphista · 08/08/2018 21:02

In your new role will you be line managing people in his role?

If so think of it as a good practise in case you come across another twat like this in future.

I'd take him to one side and warn him that being patronising and condescending is not how to handle either the job or colleagues and certainly not a boss. And DEFINITELY not clients (it sounds like this job involves direct contact with clients and he could well lose the company business with this attitude). That it actually makes him look insecure and incompetent. ESPECIALLY if he particularly takes this attitude with women.

Get across to him less is often more in terms of explanation and to practice his listening skills (which seem very poor). To think before he speaks and particularly to consider how he would feel if he were the person being spoken to like that.

I'd do this towards an end of a day rather than beginning so he can think about it overnight and hopefully come in the next day with a better attitude.

AynRandTheObjectivist · 08/08/2018 21:02

OP, please just tell him that he's mansplaining, and you know this, and you're going off to a more senior role than this one. Use the word 'mansplaining'. We all know he'd never say this to a man, so let him know that you are on to him. If you don't want to be too direct, you can say, "Budgeting? For an accountant? Is this the human quality you call mansplaining?"

Just do it.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 08/08/2018 21:01

Fab suggestions above. My insticnt would be to go ridiculously girlie. All wide-eyed and touching your hair and breathy and asking more and more simplistic questions until the penny finally dropped. Mind you, id only deploy this because I'm a strapping lass and it's an obvious piss take.

The sensible advice is to count down, slowly, until leaving day!

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:00

He also found out my age from a colleague (he must have asked, it wouldn’t come up in conversation otherwise) and returned to the desk saying ‘I didn’t realise you’re only 27, you’re doing well for yourself aren’t you??’

Fuck. The. Fuck. OFF.

OP posts:
MadamBatty · 08/08/2018 21:00

Now I want to stab him.

‘Something wrong with your eye SG?’

Being paid more? That because he a manz!

AynRandTheObjectivist · 08/08/2018 20:59

There's not a jury in the land that would convict you.

Theweasleytwins · 08/08/2018 20:59

You sound fun op😊shart goblin 😂

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 20:58

I did slip earlier and when he said ‘you’re actually good at this aren’t you?’ (Attempt at a cheeky, winning smile that made him look like a paedophilic garden gnome)

I replied ‘yes, that will be on account of my training, experience, expertise and industry knowledge’.

He made a knowing ‘aaaahh’ sound , made a clicky sound with his tongue and WINKED at me. He’s lucky I wasn’t holding anything sharp.

OP posts:
MyLifeInTheSunshine · 08/08/2018 20:56

Personally, I’d throw in a big fat ‘I’m considerably more senior than YOOOOW’ put-down every time he comes out with this shit.

‘Yes, that’s interesting, but of course now Im going to be in a SO much more senior role I won’t need to worry about such insignificant, entry level details’ etc

Sometimes you have to whip out your much bigger dick with this type of idiot.

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 20:54

I ended up putting my headphones on today just to block the fucker out.

I’ve spent the last 3 months skilling up the rest of the team, so if he actually doesn’t know his shit it will be very obvious to them very quickly.

What’s even worse is I know he’s being paid slightly more than I was for that role Angry

OP posts:
MadamBatty · 08/08/2018 20:53

You need to call him out on it.

You’ve explained accountancy, well done you. That’s very useful as I’m a qualified accountant. I also have x years experience & moving to a senior role. You see I’m a very good accountant SG. A very good accountant indeed.

Maybe steeple your hands for better effect. Now what else would you like to ask me?

I’d call him SG, ignore him when he asks you what you mean.

travailtotravel · 08/08/2018 20:52

Oooh. Coorectile dysfunction. That. Is. Fabulous.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 08/08/2018 20:51

Every time he does it call him out on it.

"Why are you surprised that i am goodat my job? What is the basis of you not expecting me to be good?"

"Why are you explaining this to me? What makes you think i wouldnt understand?"

He sounds like a twat

FiestaThenSiesta · 08/08/2018 20:51

Call him out on it. Why are you very badly explaining basic concepts to me instead of listening and asking relevant questions?

You do realise others will begin to doubt your capabilities if you continue to talk at them like this?

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 20:50

I wouldn’t mind, but I spent the last 3 weeks gettzing everything ship shape and Bristol fashion so that when he came in it would be a super quick handover and an easy first few weeks for him.. wish I hadn’t bothered!

OP posts:
IceCreamFace · 08/08/2018 20:50

Oh my god I'm so embarrassed for him what a tool!

Swipe left for the next trending thread