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Original poster

To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

590 replies

Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 20:34

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’ Hmm

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN Angry

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling Sad

OP posts:
Graphista · 08/08/2018 21:37

Joking aside - I'd be livid at the outright lying re the bespoke system and would absolutely make clear to him I knew he was LYING and that it's a really bad idea to LIE to someone who knows the truth and that such behaviour can be construed as gross misconduct. Wink

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:34

ayn that’s true.

For the person who mentioned he’ll probably make out like the accounts are a mess etc after I leave: I’ve thought of that. Whenever he’s ‘complemented’ me on my accounts, I’ve replied ‘thanks! Yes, I’m a stickler for best practice!’ Loud enough for my manager and a few other people to hear.

Plus, I have a very good reputation in the business and I’m leaving them in a much stronger position than I found them, so if he does try that shit he’ll be shut down very quickly. I’m also not going far, so if they need clarification on anything they’ll absolutely get in touch and I can put them straight if needed and can evidence everything for the last 5 years or so. He’s got no chance barking up that tree.

OP posts:
AynRandTheObjectivist · 08/08/2018 21:32

How long do you think I can fuck with him before he figures it out?

Until kingdom come. He will never figure it out. He is a mansplainer so his default explanation, unless you really wet-kipper-slap him with it, will always be that you are a woman, a YOUNG woman no less, and therefore you will be utterly thick and won't understand anything unless it's been penised into you.

If you do want him to know what he's doing, be straight. He won't work it out otherwise. He's ten times thicker than he thinks you are....

AynRandTheObjectivist · 08/08/2018 21:30

Don't do anything subtle like that. He will not get it. He will honestly think you are just really stupid. If you're doing it to amuse yourself, fine, but if you want him to understand what an absolute tosser he is, you need to be straight. Tell him that he is mansplaining and yes, as an accountant with years of experience who is now about to go into a more senior role, you do in fact understand the concept of accounting.

If you want him to get it, you need to be straight.

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:29

Thanks vipers, you’ve made me see the funny side and my inevitable prison sentence is looking less likely now I’ve had a proper vent Grin

Now I want to play with it. How long do you think I can fuck with him before he figures it out? I also need ideas..

OP posts:
eddielizzard · 08/08/2018 21:28

excellent, but take out the 'don't you think?' because that will open the door for more mansplaining and then you'll be up for manslaughter.

Homebird8 · 08/08/2018 21:25

I reckon you could get him to tell you exactly how corrective disfunction can be beneficially used in your field Grin

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:25

Today I did actively consider just playing the cockwomble at his own game.. just go all out:

Him: I put budget in the account because I find....

Me: yes, and budgets are made of money. Did you know you can exchange money for goods and services? I find it’s the best way to handle client relationships. It’s much better when we get paid for our services don’t you think? But we don’t want to over spend the clients money, so using a budget can be really useful to stop that from happening’

Beat the fucker at his own game.

OP posts:
Wincher · 08/08/2018 21:24

Oh god, I had a colleague like this - he came into a parallel role to mine, though in a different team. The worst was when we asked him to be on an interview panel when we were recruiting as we needed the panel to have a mix of genders, and he totally mansplained the whole interview process to my colleague and me. It took time but eventually I realised - by looking him up on LinkedIn - that he was younger than me and I have considerably more experience than him, and I eventually managed to convince him I know my stuff - not helped by a dose of imposter syndrome on my part. I now manage the team and his job was made redundant when it was absorbed into my team - and I don't feel bad at all!

ProudThrilledHappy · 08/08/2018 21:23

As an alternative suggestion, why dont you womansplain (Grin) something incredibly obvious to him, at length, to see if he enjoys it?

Gigis · 08/08/2018 21:21

Oh bloody hell then he really is a huge bellend.
Next best thing is to just him mansplain to you and then just repeat the last word he says to you over and over without emotion like a robot until he freaks out and goes away.

LivLemler · 08/08/2018 21:21

Oh god I hate this. Once had a graduate with about five minutes experience praise my work which when I did something he couldn't. I'd been there ten years.

tildaMa · 08/08/2018 21:20

Buy a sheet of gold stars on your way to the office tomorrow and every time he does it again, stick a star on his shirt and with a wide smile say in an overly enthusiastic way "Very good! Now that you got the basics right, do you have any questions?" or "Fantastic! So you know this already, let's now concentrate on !" etc.

Justwanttoweeinpeace · 08/08/2018 21:19

What @FiestaThenSiesta said. x 100

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:19

notevil I LOVE that chart. Hands up for printing that off and leaving it on his desk? 🖐

OP posts:
Notevilstepmother · 08/08/2018 21:17

Oh well, if you interviewed him, I’ve no sympathy Grin

IceCreamFace · 08/08/2018 21:17

I also vote for calling him out. He won't thank you for it but if he has any sense he'll take it on board and not make such an ass of himself next time.

Notevilstepmother · 08/08/2018 21:16

—why doesn’t my cross out work?—

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:15

Gigis I did that today!! Not completely on purpose, but I mentioned something completely unique to a particular client and he said ‘yeah I saw that at insert random old job he had 5 years ago , they used the same sustema nd it worked great. I helped them implement it because I think it’s the best way to work’ Hmm

This system is bespoke, completely unique and the client developed it in house as a solution to an extremely niche problem. No way on this earth or the next he’s seen it before Hmm

OP posts:
DwangelaForever · 08/08/2018 21:15

Oh god what a toolbag!! I sort of know how you're feeling but in reverse, I'm going on maternity and trying to train my cover who knows absolutely nothing and is taking ages to pick it up and has no common sense with spreadsheets and computers and sometimes grammar 😭😭😭😭😭 very frustrating for me as I'm a bit ocd in Work and like everything done a certain way

Notevilstepmother · 08/08/2018 21:15

Print out this amazing flowchart —and staple it to his head—

www.bbc.com/capital/story/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

For extra points, explain to him, as though to a child of 7, what is a flowchart and how it works.

Demonstrate the path through you know more than him.

To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?
Gigis · 08/08/2018 21:13

Goodness I'm embarrassed for him.
Any chance you could make something very industry specific up and talk about it with him and see if he tries to join in? Get him to mansplain something that doesn't even exist back to you. Extra points if you make up new words too.

"If you readjust the nurdler and level off the spangler then you'll find your optimal output will increase by at least a quarter of a percentile... but i bet you already knew that!"

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:11

I interviewed him with my manager. At interview it’s difficult because you want them to explain things in detail so you can judge their experience level. He impressed me at interview. The shame Blush

OP posts:
TiredPony · 08/08/2018 21:09

Oh bless you OP. Don't you know it's only menz that can do well at work? While you fill time in between popping out bairns.

YouTheCat · 08/08/2018 21:09

Definitely pull him up on his arseholery. Then come back and tell us his reaction.

I'm off tomorrow and could do with a laugh.

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