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Original poster

To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

590 replies

Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 20:34

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’ Hmm

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN Angry

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling Sad

OP posts:
tildaMa · 08/08/2018 22:00

@Mansplanation basically, yes. See my post on the previous page.
And you could give him the chart as an award for getting so many stars Grin

HelpmeobiMN · 08/08/2018 21:59

Shart goblin 😂

I think if you do murder him you’ll have plenty of MNers on hand to give you an alibi!

Ohwtfhappened · 08/08/2018 21:59

"Yes I know I'm fucking awesome at this. That's why I'm moving up and if one day you can be patch on me, maybe you will have the same opportunity?"

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:58

Piff a bit of a bluffer for sure, he’s reassured me on several occasions that he’s asking basic questions because ‘the more complicated stuff is obvious, I just want to make sure you’ve got the basics right here before I go into more detail’

Sure you do. Hmm

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LighthouseSouth · 08/08/2018 21:57

um....

bit confused

why haven't you told him what's what? Is it that you're worried you will lose your temper or something?

SadTrombone · 08/08/2018 21:57

🤚🏻
Another hand up for the chart! (Definitely not placemarking).

Anonnymouse54321 · 08/08/2018 21:55

Oh god, the wink! What a twat. I would have given him the death stare for that. Or asked him coldly if he had something in is eye. He wouldn't have winked at a man.

Please print off the mansplaining chart and leave it on his desk Grin.

Piffpaffpoff · 08/08/2018 21:55

Sounds to me like he’s a total, out of his depth, bluffer.

I worked with someone a bit like this but was a woman - expert bluffer, way out of her league but went for ‘quantity’ of content rather than quality when talking - so she would go on and on in miniscule detail about what she’d done. Never pitched anything herself, was always jumping on other people’s ideas. All,I think, to cover up that she was not very good at the technicalities of our specialism but could talk a very good game. V frustrating but we were on a time-limited project and once that finished, we all moved on.

Imagine my surprise 2 years later when I had moved to another company and her CV came across my desk confidently detailing her work at the previous company - except it was all my work! How I laughed (and then didn’t give her an interview).

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:55

Dish out a gold star every time he explains a very basic concept to me? I feel he’s go home looking like Elton John..

OP posts:
tildaMa · 08/08/2018 21:54

@Mansplanation please please do the gold stars! It will be much more fun Grin

Accountant222 · 08/08/2018 21:53

Call him out definitely!

A woman from the VAT office came and did an audit at one of my jobs, she said 'you don't look like you know what you're doing, but you do' ffs is that because I've got big tits and blonde hair ?

BobbinThreadbare123 · 08/08/2018 21:52

I am only posting to say that 'shart goblin' is now in my vocabulary, and I work almost entirely with male engineers on a shipyard, so I feel your pain at the mansplaining. 'Correctile dysfunction' is also going in my personal brain thesaurus!

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:52

I think tomorrow I’m going to go in with a lofty ‘Not today, Satan!’ Attitude. Answers to stupid questions will be clipped and pointy and I shall impale him on a death stare and cut him off if he embarks on a mansplain.

I’m thinking ‘yes that’s a very basic concept of XXXX, I’m well aware of it thank you.’ Will be enough to deflate him. If not, a pointier ‘I actually don’t need a explanation of that, I built the accounts and have run them successfully for 5 years’. Failing that, I’ll take a roll of gaffa tape with me...

OP posts:
CreakyAuldYin · 08/08/2018 21:51

✋✋ late hands up for show him the awesome chart. Tell him it's training. And definitely do the flow chart explanation....

sexnotgender · 08/08/2018 21:50

I'll provide you an alibi if you need one. What an absolute bellend he sounds.

riiiiight · 08/08/2018 21:50

But was he definetely lying? Isn't it possible that he is just an idiot?

This does seem plausible under the circumstances.

riiiiight · 08/08/2018 21:48

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN

Grin Grin I love this thread I truly do.

I interviewed him with my manager. At interview it’s difficult because you want them to explain things in detail so you can judge their experience level. He impressed me at interview. The shame blush

eek on reading that I wonder if actually the idiot is actually trying to prove to you his skillz as you're the one who hired him? Does he mansplain the other women in the office? If he does you should definitely call him a shart goblin. If not, you can smile politely like one does to an over eager 4 year old, yes yes, money GOOD. Budget GOOD. Deficit BAD..

Andylion · 08/08/2018 21:48

I'd be livid at the outright lying re the bespoke system and would absolutely make clear to him I knew he was LYING and that it's a really bad idea to LIE

But was he definetely lying? Isn't it possible that he is just an idiot?

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:46

bibesia because I’m leaving and part of me just wants to gallop off into the sunset flying a giant middle finger flag behind me.

Then the other part of me mostly just wants to embarrass him a bit, but I’m worried he’ll realise he’s rumbled and quit. If he does that, I’m in this job until December.

OP posts:
BoreOfWhabylon · 08/08/2018 21:45

He definitely fancies you. Sorry.

You'll have to kill him.

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:42

Graph I’m in 2 minds about that. He could easily explain it away by saying he’d seen something ‘similar’, but not exactly the same uyswim. On the other hand, I’m started by to think he oversold himself at interview by several pay grades and he’s been winging it for a fair few years. I think he’s lied or at least overstated the extent of some of his previous experience.

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 08/08/2018 21:40

Oh, just kill the squirt and have done with it. You know you want to. Not a jury in the land would convict you.

Bibesia · 08/08/2018 21:40

I VERY NEARLY said ‘that’s literally accounting. You just explained accounting to me. Did you know I’m an accountant?

Why didn't you?

StrawberryDaiquiriPlease · 08/08/2018 21:38

Maybe ask if he's going to work in a primary school next and he's practising explaining things to young children.

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 21:38

I caught the eye of a guy who sits across from me during a particular long explanation of something simple and I saw him visibly wince Grin I’m not known for sufferzing fools gladly so I think he was expecting me to plant my feet. I didn’t and I didn’t respond to the eye contact because if I do and word gets round that there’s a problem it could delay my leaving and I REALLY want to get to my new job ASAP.

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