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Original poster

To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

590 replies

Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 20:34

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’ Hmm

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN Angry

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling Sad

OP posts:
Jamiefraserskilt · 08/08/2018 23:15

Make a little chart entitled snart's STBO record.
Divide it into days, hours and add a gold star each time.
If he asks what it is, just tell him He is filling it up well and smile sweetly.
He will think it is handover progress
Only you will know it is a chart to record him Stating The Bleedin' Obvious

PenguinBollard · 08/08/2018 22:58

Just sigh and reply "yes,dear" every. Single. Time.

Igorina · 08/08/2018 22:52

Is this him OP?

To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?
ColdNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 08/08/2018 22:40

Calll him out each and every time

"Yes I know it's good - I designed it"
"Yes I do understand that - are you sure you do though, because this is the third time you've had to go through it, would you like me to sit down and explain it to you?"

Or just "Fuck off you patronising twunt"

Muddlingalongalone · 08/08/2018 22:27

You need a no shit Sherlock tally chart OP 😀😀😀
I have a new boss who does the same to me frequently. I try to limit myself to actually finalising it to 1 x week.
Might print out the chart from the other page - love it!

imsoboredwithitall · 08/08/2018 22:27

Paedophilic Garden Gnome @Mansplanation

I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING GrinGrin

RebootYourEngine · 08/08/2018 22:24

Sounds like he is overcompensating. Probably because he doesn't have a clue what he is doing.

Maria1982 · 08/08/2018 22:21

I’m glad the thread has helped you see the funny side, but please do find a way to pull him up on it! Winking at you is intolerable.

I tend to go the glacial and repetitive route, but it goes over the head with this type, so some of the other suggestions on this thread would be good.

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 08/08/2018 22:20

Joking aside - I'd be livid at the outright lying re the bespoke system and would absolutely make clear to him I knew he was LYING and that it's a really bad idea to LIE to someone who knows the truth and that such behaviour can be construed as gross misconduct.

Me too. The general patronising twattishness is bad enough, but to outright lie that he was instrumental in implementing a system that he had nutterly fuck all to do with ~ nah, I couldn't let that one pass without cunningly asking him to talk me through exactly how he did that, in a girly, wide-eyed 'wow, you're so immensely awesome' way, before waiting till he'd dug himself a deep enough hole then pushing him straight into it with a puzzled 'But hang on, I'm confused, as this was a completely bespoke system that blah blah blah, so how come you were involved at x, y, z stage? [innocent face]'

ColdNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 08/08/2018 22:18

He's massively threatened by you. A young woman who is way more experienced than him, who is leaving the job that he now has to fill, for a better job.

He's trying to knock holes in you whilst simultaneously impress you and impress his new colleagues.

He's a prick. Please don't let him talk to you like that, stamp on him at EVERY opportunity!

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 22:16

Finding the funny side is definitely the way forward. This thread has helped, I’m glad I posted!

OP posts:
mumsastudent · 08/08/2018 22:16

say this ; "I am glad you understand the basics - if you need a bit more help to understand this in depth I can explain a bit more - if your ready for it - you being just a man, of course, means that I will have to explain a bit more simply so you will be able to follow!" seriously (almost!) just say really that must be were I was going wrong :) many men have very fragile egos - Agatha Christie's Jane Marple when a young woman said that she was equal to men stated- to paraphrase- I am not equal to men, dear, women are superior" :)

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 22:14

I reckon I can hold my tongue in my head for another week but I’m going to need gardening leave after that for a couple of weeks and they can contact me as and when they need something.. someone is going to go to prison if I have to sit next to him much longer.

I also nearly, audibly growled the other day Blush in my defence, he was standing next to me explaining to my colleague that he’s come in to ‘sort out’ the accounts and is excited to ‘get things in good shape’ Hmm

To his credit, my colleague answered by saying ‘there won’t be much to do there, I know manslain’s got a keen eye for detail’ and gave me a sympathetic look. Again, I didn’t return the look and just smiled a bit.

I CAN do this. BREATHE.

OP posts:
RedSaidBread · 08/08/2018 22:12

I dunno. Sounds like either he's a total asshole who is trying to wind you up and make you angry. Or he has no clue what's going on and is blagging.

Maybe a combo!

Can you not try to see the funny side to this, rather than getting so annoyed? I ask because I've found the ONLY thing that seems to take the wind out of the sails of men like this is when you find what they are trying to do amusing. And let them know in little ways.

It's also a lot easier on the blood pressure.

GreyCloudsToday · 08/08/2018 22:10

SHART GOBLIN! Ha ha ha Grin

cantmakeme · 08/08/2018 22:09

I'd just say, "aaaw, yes, you're learning!" and give an encouraging smile.

LighthouseSouth · 08/08/2018 22:06

OP, I don't mean say "I think you're out of your depth".

I was thinking that when he tells you how to do your job, you could raise an eyebrow and say "yes, I do the job, I know that".

Smile and then he can't complain about you being rude.

I don't think he'll cut and run due to a comment like that so I wouldn't worry. This stupid shit about "growing into a role" happens far too often - like they see a arrogant guy and think arrogance is a wonderful quality in a man and therefore he'll learn quickly, or something.

XXcstatic · 08/08/2018 22:05

Sarcasm is never the adult or professional way of handling these situations, but it's often the way I choose Grin

I'd probably go with reflecting his comments back to him and amplifying them for added effect. So, if he says "You're actually quite good at your job, aren't you?", then picks up a pencil, you say "You're actually quite good at picking up pencils, aren't you? It's so clever the way you managed that." Childish, but satisfying, especially if you have a sympathetic audience of other colleagues Smile

Piffpaffpoff · 08/08/2018 22:04

Omg Mansplanation I would have lost it right there with that comment. You’re a better woman than me!

Original poster
Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 22:03

lighthouse no, I’m worried he’ll leave out of embarrassment/ being rumbled and I’ll be stuck in the job until December. They’re letting me off my notice period early providing everything is handed over completely, so if he goes I’ll be stuck until they hire someone else/ until my formal notice finishes which is December 18th.

For the record I have fed back to senior team that I think he’s blagging a bit and needs some more support in role once I’m gone because I’m not confident he’s got the level of skill required and they’ve said they don’t mind, he’ll ‘grow into the role if needed’ Hmm

OP posts:
Tinkobell · 08/08/2018 22:02

He's clearly goading you fgs and hoping you'll lash out. If you want to win his little game, don't play it.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 08/08/2018 22:02
  1. Don't be a shart goblin.
sunflowersinthesky · 08/08/2018 22:02

Every time he mansplains something, just say "Yes, I know". Every single time. Followed by "Just pop and get me a coffee would you, there's a love" Grin

Tinkobell · 08/08/2018 22:00

Tomorrow you MUST share with him your golden tips for success that have enabled you climb the ladder. Tips

  1. Respect for colleagues
  2. You don't know what you don't know.
  3. Never adopt a patronising tone.
Ohwtfhappened · 08/08/2018 22:00

Sorry no context, but I am sure you get what I mean

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