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Original poster

To Have Murderous Thoughts About Colleague?

590 replies

Mansplanation · 08/08/2018 20:34

I’m leaving my job and my replacement was hired, so I’m handing over.

Today he’s been reviewing my work over the last few months to get familiar with the accounts and when I asked how he was getting on, his reply was ‘it’s all quite good actually! I’m really surprised!’ Hmm

Later in the day, he commented that ‘you’re actually quite good at your job aren’t you?’

Then ‘well done, this looks like you planned it this way’

He also proceeded to explain my job to me in great detail. Over. And over. And over again. All the while, asking very very basic questions and eventually I said ‘yep, that’s very standard, have you not seen that before?’ To call him out on it and he replied ‘yeah I have, I just wanted to see if you knew why it’s done that way’

I DID FUCKING PLAN IT THAT WAY, IM VERY GOOD AT MY JOB AND YOU ARE REPLACING ME BECAUSE IM MOVING TO A MUCH, MUCH MORE SENIOR ROLE YOU INTOLLERABLE, MANSPLAINING SHART GOBLIN Angry

Somebody PLEASE lend me their willpower because I’m one ‘well done’ away from stapling a gold star to his fucking forehead.

I need to bite my tongue so I can leave and get to my new job but I’m really bloody struggling Sad

OP posts:
CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 09/08/2018 17:35

You can’t leave now!

Original poster
Mansplanation · 09/08/2018 17:34

He’s back Confused

Just walked back into the office and back into the meeting room. I’m supposed to be going home but I don’t think I can!

OP posts:
DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 09/08/2018 17:33

This has been so entertaining with a perfect ending! Shame he’s shit at his (your) job but what can you do? You can bluff your way through a lot but not everything.

LeighaJ · 09/08/2018 17:33

Looks like a happy ending all around. Hopefully they'll find someone better to replace him soon enough.

CholloDeNombre · 09/08/2018 17:31

This is quite the satisfying thread.

FrancisCrawford · 09/08/2018 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yiskasha · 09/08/2018 17:29

Yay!

Original poster
Mansplanation · 09/08/2018 17:29

Turtle well and truly booted off the post.

Manager asked him into a meeting room, 5 minutes later he came back out, grabbed his bag and left.

He’s left his green tea bags.

He didnt look at me or say anything to me. Just left.

I eagerly await t debrief from manager. She’s still in the meetzing room.

OP posts:
amusedbush · 09/08/2018 17:22

Shitttt (or should I say shartttt? Grin)

What an amazing outcome!

SadTrombone · 09/08/2018 17:19

👢->🐢

Original poster
Mansplanation · 09/08/2018 17:17

I think his goblin senses are tingling.. manager just grabbed HR man and he watched them go and now looks a bit uncomfortable..

OP posts:
FlaviaAlbia · 09/08/2018 17:16

Brilliant update! Your manager sounds like a good one Smile

Timeforabiscuit · 09/08/2018 17:16

Phew!!

YouTheCat · 09/08/2018 17:16

Glad it's not going to impact on your new job.

SadTrombone · 09/08/2018 17:15

@Mansplanation

Superb outcome. Huzzah! WineWine

ApolloandDaphne · 09/08/2018 17:14

Excellent outcome all round. TBH if she interviewed him with you and is the more senior then i guess ultimately the buck stops with her on hiring the ShartGoblin.

Original poster
Mansplanation · 09/08/2018 17:13

POST TURTLE IS AMAZING.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/08/2018 17:12

He truly is the definition of a post turtle- where you see a turtle up on a post - you know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor stupid guy get down.

Original poster
Mansplanation · 09/08/2018 17:11

I’ve gotten away with absolute murder.

Manager called me in and has APOLOGISED to me because she thinks SHE has made a mistake hiring him, and she doesn’t want her mistake to impact my moving jobs. We’d arranged a leaving date and she said because of that she doesn’t want me to have to mess new company around, so she’ll honour it.

Once that was out of the way I told her absolutely everything. I’ve spent the last 20 minutes laughing hysterically and slightly manically about my week and she’s in complete agreement that he needs to leave as soon as he can pack his belongings into his bag.

I’m currently sitting at my desk just waiting for her to pull the trigger. She’s planning to do it just before 5:30...

Bubbye Sharty.

OP posts:
HemanOrSheRa · 09/08/2018 17:11

I think he was saying he is employed as a consultant in order to make a swift exit.

SadTrombone · 09/08/2018 17:09

Come back OP!
I've got visions of you trying to escape incognito in the cleaners trolley or flush yourself down the loo to avoid this meeting.
Enquiring minds must know what's happened to SG!!!

AaronPurrSir · 09/08/2018 17:09

Surely if you have handed your notice in and it’s been accepted, they can’t “make” you stay any longer even if this guy is a total idiot?

Blackbirdblue30 · 09/08/2018 17:04

Thank you for bringing the term 'shart goblin' into my vocabulary. Hope the meeting goes well!

Piffpaffpoff · 09/08/2018 17:00

Before I read your last update, I was going to say I think that you need to speak to your boss about the convo you had with SG and say you have some concerns but you are addressing them. Basically start laying the groundwork for telling them he’s hopeless. But it looks like events have moved on! Tell them everything.

iklboo · 09/08/2018 17:00

Crikey he's up himself isn't he? I bet all the accounting he's actually done is a savings spreadsheet for when he goes on his holidays & has been googling accounty sound bites on his phone when he goes to the loo.