AIBU to think that if you hate animals you shouldn't move to the countryside?

Actually, I've just realised your neighbour is being totally reasonable after all shiklah because if you can source nappies for goats quite easily ... sheep should be no problem!

My DH takes the piss out of me for being a townie (although I grew up living next door to a dairy farm so that's a bit unfair), but ffs these people sound like they have utterly no clue. Just laugh in their faces next time. It's the only possible response.

categed genius

This is hilarious. What did he think would be the result of informing you that sheep poo? I mean, really?! He must have had some sort of action plan in mind.

Oh, gods, slurry time. My dogs spend their waking moments working out how to get through the fence and roll in it.

1. I think you should start calling them by names different from their own. So when Mr Twat talks to you (keep looking at his hair line, with a smile playing across your lips that you then obviously try to stop, except you don't) and call him Mr Fuckface, even after he's corrected you.

1. Tell him you take his complaints very seriously not at all and could he please list them in typed and hand delivered letter at his convenience. You just just read it when you need a laugh, don't ever respond to it and if he mentions it just say "oh, yes lovely thanks. Good day Mr Fickface".

1. But as many bees as you can, obviously the best place for the hive(s) would be as close to his fence as possible. At night smear the fence with jam.

1. Don't you need to be collecting firewood for your annual (from now) bonfire? Build it nice and big (positioned near fence) and light at the most inconvenient time.

1. I read this article (I didn't) that vows and sheep love wind chimes, it really helps with their sense of being animals.

1. Do you have problems with crows bothering the sheep? You can't get a crow scarer thing (only because your sheep wouldn't like it) but you could spent a happy few evenings making lots of lovely scarecrows in the most awful outfits you can find.

1. Plant an apple tree and do regular wassailing.

1. Invite school children from every school within a 29 mile radius to come and see a working farm, paying particular attention to that field. Rotate them so you get a class each day. What a lovely place to eat their packed lunch, right by Mr Twat's garden.

Can you tell I've got shit neighbours? My Mr Twat is worse than your Mr Twat by a country mile.

Make a visit to their house with a measuring tape. Tell them you are thinking of putting llamas in with the sheep and you are just measuring tge distance to ensure the spit wont land in their breakfast when eating in the conservatory 😉😉

Get your revenge at slurry time, ideally when their windows are open and washing on the line 🤭 My husband did this to me the other day....not so funny then 😬

I live in an old farm cottage. A visitor noted as we sat in the garden that the countryside couldn't be considered quiet given the noise of the river, birds drowning out conversation, cows 🐮 mooing over the road, sheep 🐑 baaing next door and tractors chuntering down the road.

I must admit that it sounds very Call the Midwife during calving time and I know the barley field behind my house has been cut when I hear the sound of the grain dryer going as I drive down the road from work.

Apologies but those "complaints" really made me laugh. What planet are they on? I wonder if those people had ever been to the countryside before deciding to move there.
I have lived in London for over 20 years (grew up somewhere less urban) but do know animals shag (god the foxes), give birth and do kill other animals for food. I'm sure wild rabbit is better for foxes than leftover KFC!

BBCK you've reminded me of something that happened when I was a child. A family like this moved in near us and was a constant complainer. Our farmer neighbour borrowed a donkey from the other end of the village for extra delights.

they have three minis

It’s obvious then - they are The Self-Preservation Society...

I've lived in a city for 30 years. I have previously lived more rurally. What kind of idiot expects the countryside to change to suit them?

They are a very special kind of stupid and we must all think of ways for you to wind them up.

Muck spread regularly, buy a donkey ( for the noise), breed geese( also for noise), keep pigs ( for the smell), keep bees ( just to scare them), lease you field for rock concerts or go motocross racing.

People are arses. They move to the countryaide expecting idyllic green fields perhaps a few lambs (all year round)but no noise and smells.
Unfortunately these people cannot be educated. These are the sort of people who feed animals that have a do not feed sign displayed clearly then complain when they get bitten or the animals ups and dies from being poisoned.
The expectation is that you do not use your fields as they are to create a picture perfect view. Re build your milking parlour next to the field the cows are in, can it not be mobile to move with the cows 🤔😂😂
Oh and if you ever dare to fertilize with slurry/manure you can only do it on a wet day where there is a strong wind blowing away from house.
People amaze me. Why cant i walk across that field with a grumpy bull in it? If it's not safe around people it should be kept in/shot or kept in the farmers garden.
How dare that horse not want my daughter to sit on it she was just playing. Your goat butted me for no reason i just went into it's field to say hello 😣😣😂
There will always be someone who expects the world to work just for them. All you can do is ignore and swear at them under your breath.

shiklah ah well, one can dream

Complain that the view of his conservatory is giving your sheep diarrhoea.

Linoleum that is priceless

Forget the cockerel, what you need is a peacock and some guinea fowl. Theu give any cockerel a run for his money.

You have to come up wit some complaints to throw back at them.

Complain that the view of his conservatory is giving your sheep diarrhoea.

That the smell of the mother's day breakfast nearly cost you a ewe and two lambs.

I love that they're blaming you for feral cats and foxes too. What do they want you to do about it?

I can believe this thread, I've seen threads on MN suggesting that riders clean up after their horses

4. arrange open farm Sunday every Sunday of the year (with special parking reserved outside neighbour's house)

5. buy loud cockerel

That field needs to be fertilised, op!

To be quite honest, I’m buckled laughing at the thought of Mr and Mrs Offended looking quite horrified that sheep shagging has interrupted their breakfast it’s made me laugh far more than it should