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Original poster

Your grans classics

288 replies

DeepFatFriar · 08/06/2018 12:37

Classics your gran has come out with?
Mine:

(When smoking by the front door):
"Come in off the street for godsake girl, you look like a prostitute"
And:
"Don't you WANT to be attractive?"

OP posts:
Bluelonerose · 08/06/2018 13:39

My nan was like an Italian mob boss she was amazing Grin
She loved watching the boxing and got quite vocal Grin

The best was saying "I'll box your ears in"

Last time I remember her saying that she was 83 in bed with a broken hip and trying to get up and get exdh who she had just found out had cheated on me.

The funniest thing she ever said was only a couple of weeks before she died. She had misheard what the Dr had said and replied with "sex! I've been a widow 30 years where do you think Ide be getting that from" Grin

She also used to pronounce garden as gardin and I've started to say that now too.

I miss her so much she is the only person in my entire family who loved me for who I was.

MrsPaddyGrant · 08/06/2018 13:31

When I was about 11/12 and just gone to a proper shop to get measured for my first bra - my mum was telling gran of how much it cost and how expensive it was. My gran said "why don't you knit her one". Sure that would have provided lots of support - and not made me an object of ridicule in a 70s comp Confused

Ca55andraMortmain · 08/06/2018 13:24

Looking at pic of all of her gdc - 'we're so lucky aren't we John? Seven grandchildren...and not one of them is funny-looking!'

ILikeMyChickenFried · 08/06/2018 13:16

Watching the fake oral sex porn scene on Love Actually

"I don't know how anyone could do that, its disgusting"

Sofiathefirst2346 · 08/06/2018 13:11

Someone else’s grandma upon me telling her my seven year old has a condition causing recurrent abscesses “well, she’ll never be able to marry then!” 😱😱😱

WittyJack · 08/06/2018 13:10

My grandfather when I was about 17 and had just had my hair cut off (to be strictly accurate, I'd gone on a girls' holiday, got v drunk on day 1 and had it cut off, from shoulder blade length to above the ears - that was quite the awakening the next day!):

"By 'eck, that lad looks like our WittyJack" Hmm

He wasn't trying to be funny. He honestly thought I was a young man.

Pringlemunchers · 08/06/2018 13:10

Hormones eh...... Didn't have them back in my day !!

WittyJack · 08/06/2018 13:08

My friend's cockney grandma, when asked if she was seeing anyone:

"courtin'? COURTIN'?? What would I want one of them ruddy things 'angin' around me 'ouse for????"

justilou1 · 08/06/2018 13:06

Mine told me to live with someone before I married him because "You don't buy clothes until you're tried them on, do you dear? - And don't ever tell your mother I told you this, please!!!" (She was my father's mother and she was awesome)

Queenoftheblitz · 08/06/2018 13:03

When I said I was gonna ring a guy I liked, rather than wait for him to call me.
"Don't make a nuisance of yourself."

NurseryFightClub · 08/06/2018 12:49

When I went to work for a Japanese company. "they won't be friends with you, cos they are all thin" Hmm

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 08/06/2018 12:46

"if God had meant for you to wear earrings you would have been born with holes in your ears"
But dgm if he meant us to wear clothes we should have been born wearing some then!!
Grin

toomuchtooold · 08/06/2018 12:42

My gran, looking at me in trainers in the shoe shop: "if you made her wear them, she wouldny want to" (fair play to her though, she did persuade my mum to let me get them. The woman didn't raise 9 kids without learning which battles to pick)
and, watching the weather: "it's no wonder we never get any decent weather up here with the English getting all that sunshine"

Oh yeah, and "aye if we knew what was ahead of us, the canal would be full"

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