As promised Funeral Director here (waves)

Thank you for good the good wishes. My DSis and I are here together with my DM and we were all with him at the end, his death was expected and he died fairly peacefully at home in his own bed which is what he wanted. We are grieving, but are together and have all retired to bed ready to face the day together tomorrow.

Interesting thread. Shame it will disappear after 30 days I think it should be moved where it will be kept?

One thing I was always a bit about when my nan died a few years ago was that the home she was in said that they had to release the body to a FD in the same town that she died in. We wanted to use our local FD and had to pay a fee (I think it was around £150) for the initial FD to hand over the body to our local ones. What was that about?

Do you see different expressions on the deceased faces? I've had a few relatives pass away and each had a different expression. I think depending on how they felt at the time of passing. My family think I'm just projecting my own feelings about their death...

FVFrog - I hope you and family are being comforted tonight

It was my nan's funeral today, she died nearly four weeks ago. The funeral director people were so nice and respectful. I didn't even talk to any of them but just seeing how they were with other members of my family was lovely and reassuring. Thank you for what you do ❤️

My mother has arranged her funeral and has paid for it and given me an envelope with the details. I haven't opened it but I know she has specified 'direct to crem' and has also specified that she doesn't want anybody there.
Do we have to do what she wants? I don't mean morally but will the funeral director let us change things if we want to?

I’m so sorry, FVFrog

FVFrog, I’m sorry to hear about your DF, I’m sure he is being cared for now. I hope you have people to support you

My DF died at 7.30 this evening. The undertaker we called arrived at 9.40 and was professional and compassionate and hugely helpful and reassuring. So thank you for making a very difficult day a little bit easier.

I've got a question. My nan died but I am nc with my close family due to abuse. I phoned the funeral directors to ask if I could just see the coffin for 5 mins before it left for the funeral, so I could say goodbye. But they told me no. I was gutted. They said they only took instructions from the next of kin. Next of kin need never have known my request. I never got to say goodbye. I was gutted. Do they really need to be so strict?

Thanks for starting the thread OP.

Can it be very difficult to handle some bodies? Ie is it difficult to dress very frail or very large bodies? I am assuming that's done with a great deal of respect and dignity and that must be a great source of comfort to family.

As a society we don't talk much about death really.

This thread and the other regarding cremation have been so informative and useful - thank you both for taking the time to openly answer questions and take away the 'taboo' around it. My Nana died 18 months ago, and I visited her with my Mum when she was in the chapel of rest - the FD was a truly lovely gentleman and treated her and us with such compassion and respect.

My Dad died shortly before Christmas, and whilst I chose not to view him in the chapel, I went with Mum when she did. Again the FD was so kind, gentle and respectful, taking so much of the stress out of the situation for us. We chose cremation for Dad and having read the other thread too I feel greatly reassured that it was the right choice and am so grateful for the compassion and kindness of everyone involved.

At times some of the threads and comments here drive me slightly bonkers, but these two threads really do show MN at its best - thank you so much for taking the time to answer questions that we're often too afraid to ask IRL.

@oohnarna, thank you for your time, very interesting and hopefully helpful, to many of us.🌸

Thanks. That's really good to hear.

People have been asking about funerals where there are no relatives. They are organised by the environmental health dept of the council. As a vicar I have taken several of these and will do a full service usually at the graveside only or occasionally they are at the crematorium. Sometimes there are just the funeral directors there to lower the coffin and the council rep, but just occasionally lots of friends turn up. The hardest part is writing a eulogy as often the friends or care home staff know very few life details.

Thanks bluetrampolines

I've read a couple of things recently about DIY funerals and people keeping their loved one at home for a few days to help with the grieving process and wanting to have their loved one close until the funeral. Is this something that a normal FD could help with?